WOW - just lost it big style and couldn't care less who thinks IABU!!

[changingchangingonetwo]

Long term poster - nice ham, red rug, dizzymare, Shiney's penguin date etc etc - name changed

Back story - this week has probably been the most stressful week of my career, with today being the pinnacle of that stress. DH has been aware of this. Moderately supportive but been relying on parents for most support and helpful advice.

I usually cook but if I don't get home "in time", then DH will cook. For himself. Beans or similar. Never bothers to text to ask if want anything. This is a massive bone of contention in itself as I think it is completely fucking selfish as I work much longer hours in any event.

As with the rest of the country, we have snow. I left work at 6:50pm after The World's Worst Day (tm). Went via supermarket as thought I would get something nice for us. Fall over on ice. Bang head badly. Arrive home. DH on phone to his mother. He breaks from his call long enough to advise that he has already eaten so no need to cook for him. Removes himself from my vicinity to continue inconsequential chat with his mother. Has not bothered to text or call to ask where I am/what is happening for food/how was today. Nothing.

I have completely lost it. I have never felt like this before in my life. The red mist I have heard of has descended.

I have pulled everything out of the packages which I bought and thrown in the bin. I have literally ripped of my work clothes which are now unwearable - I couldn't give a fuck. I just managed to restrain myself from trashing the kitchen.

I have barricaded myself in the spare room with the chest of drawers. It is all I can do to restrain myself from physically attacking H. I have NEVER felt anger like this before which is actually quite scary. Prior to tonight, I have NEVER even considered hitting someone. I actually could take a baseball bat to his car (his pride and joy).

I had thought that I might calm down when posting but it has actually made me even more angry.

I don't actually know why I am posting.

[backwardpossom]

Hope your head is ok, OP, definitely go and get it checked out.

YANBU

[CoronaAndLime]

@ WikiFreak

[perfumedlife]

I have been in a similar situation years ago with dh and i took a cab to the Hilton. Bottle of wine, hot bath, room service meal and tv in bed. Done me the world of good and i went home the next day to sort things.

Please get your head checked out too.

[EightiesChick]

Walk in centre? That way someone will actually look at you which NHS Direct can't do. Then if they give you the all clear I would go to a hotel.

[spidookly]

No, please don't go to a hotel. You need to be observed.

Well done for calling NHS Direct BTW, particularly in your state.

Hope the world is gradually coming to rights :)

[EightiesChick]

I'd guess that OP menat to type that her (d)H is the last person she wants to observe her.

[ICouldHaveWrittenThis]

DON'T go and have a bath. If you do have concussion you may fall asleep and the bath in a locked room is the worst place to be.

If you can calm enough to talk to your DP for 2 mins, just explain that you hit your head, that you're feeling weird and that you need to be on your own.


Alternatively, do you have a friend who could come and pick you up?

[LookToWindward]

"A woman is massively distressed, potentially with a head injury and you think this is the place to do your bit for men's rights?"

Man gets in after a shit day, snaps over something fairly trivial (and this is in the scale of things) and starts to throw stuff about, smash things and then barricades himself in a room. The cries of "leave him" would be so vocal they'd be audible from the moon. And don't bullshit me that they wouldn't.

Of course the OPs DHs sounds like an arse and I think there needs to be a chat about home life in the near future but the fact remains that the OPs behaviour is not acceptable. Nothing to do with "mens rights".

As I've said, if this is something out of the blue it sounds like it could be related to the head injury. If NHS direct recommend observation then a hotel probably isn't a good idea - do you have any family or friends you could stay with if you can't face your DH?

[bigbarnfarm]

I'm sorry OP, I didn't mean to put you in a state of horrified hysteria, really I didn't!

It's just there was a thread the other day and the OP had kicked a car and said it was really uncharacteristic of her and there was loads of stressful stuff going on and I was just worried for you, in case you were her and stuff was escalating.

But I'm very glad you're not and things aren't escalating.

[ItalianLady]

I have had concussion. I ended up in a bad way. Please get yourself checked out at A & E.

[bigbarnfarm]

Windward, fuck the fuck off would you? This is not the time of the place - how is it relevant to how the OP is feeling right now and the support she needs? It isn't.

So shut the fuck up.

[perfumedlife]

Sorry, you are all correct, if it is concussion then dont be alone.

My bil was badly beaten on Sunday outside a gig, he landed on his head on a kerb from a great height. Cracked skull, hospital sent him home for observation by my sister. He slept, had a hangover too. Today he is speaking oddly, using the word 'yellow' a lot

Can you stay with a friend tonight?

[bigchris]

I see where wikifreak is coming from
go down make yourself somehing to eat and then tell him to text if you want smething to eat next time

[changingchangingonetwo]

Head doesn't seem to have a lump just very sore as fell completely backwards in complete prat fall- how dignified.

Obviously couldn't get hand out so couldn't break the fall at all. I think I got a big fright and that was the worst bit.

I am definitely going to stay here tonight but stay upstairs out of H's way. I will leave him a note (childish - I know) so he can check on me.

[backwardpossom]

Well said bigbarnfarm

[HecateQueenOfWitches]

man gets in after shit day, snaps over something that has happened a thousand times before and which shows a total and utter lack of thought about him, consideration for him and shows that he just doesn't matter to his partner and is in fact, a skivvy. Finally reaches breaking point with this long-standing pattern of behaviour and starts to throw stuff about, smash things and then barricades himself in a room

is more accurate.

[mummytoatribe]

Ok. for the sake of argument.....

"DH just stormed in in a foul mood started yelling at me and chucked all the food shopping in the bin!

It isnt my fault he had a bad day at work and then the weather was shit is it? I know he works longer hours than me, but I am not his boss, so it is hardly my fault. All I said was that I had got myself some dinner rather than wait for him to get home and cook for us, he only has to do his own now and apparantly that is selfish because I could have done something for him too. Surely it isnt too much to ask for him to get his own dinner when he cooks every night anyway?

He is now sulking upstairs and I have told him that I think he is a selfish self centred arsehole! FFS, am I really BU?!

[EightiesChick]

Can you get checked out at a walk in centre?

[LookToWindward]

I post here for my own amusement - not to "support" or otherwise. No one is forced to read or respond to anything I post.

So - politely - off you fuck. I'll post what I please. ;)

[mummytoatribe]

FFS, anyone who treats their partner like an unpaid slave is a twat, end of!

[HecateQueenOfWitches]

"DH just stormed in in a foul mood started yelling at me and chucked all the food shopping in the bin!

It isnt my fault he had a bad day at work and then the weather was shit is it? I know he works longer hours than me, but I am not his boss, so it is hardly my fault. All I said was that I had got myself some dinner rather than wait for him to get home and cook for us, he only has to do his own now and apparantly that is selfish because I could have done something for him too. Surely it isnt too much to ask for him to get his own dinner when he cooks every night anyway?

He is now sulking upstairs and I have told him that I think he is a selfish self centred arsehole! FFS, am I really BU?!

I know I never ever cook for him, or bother to ask him if he'd like anything, and just expect that he'll sort himself out. As long as I've eaten - either doing it myself or, more usually, having him do it for me, I'm ok. Is it really so unreasonable to expect that he will just cook for himself and me and not complain that I just sort myself out?

[Unwind]

you need to either:

tell him about you hitting your head

OR get a taxi to a&e

[TattyDevine]

I think the main point here is that she hasn't laid a hand on her husband, and hasn't done anything to break the law.

She is very, very angry, which relationships or little fault points in relationships can trigger, yet despite being as angry as she's ever been, she hasn't done anything to harm him or property - she didn't trash the kitchen - she threw some food out. That's not violent behaviour. Its flouncy and kinda passive agressive (its the kind of thing I'd do to prove a point and to show what he's missed out on etc etc) but really, the whole "gender switch" thing is a non issue - male or female, she's acting like someone very very annoyed with her spouse, who needs to talk, but needs to calm down first.

You need to have it out with him, is there any way you can calm down enough to go and speak with him? Then he can observe you too, kill two birds with one stone?

[changingchangingonetwo]

The NHS lady was nice and thought that the adrenalin after the fall might have tipped me over the edge.

I did ask her, in between giggling and sobbing like a loon, if she thought I might be having a breakdown/have extreme anger issues in all seriousness but she said everyone has their breaking point.

However, I should go to the GP if I don't feel better tomorrow re my nuttiness and A&E definitely if I can't see/start slurring words etc.

[bigbarnfarm]

Sorry windward, I didn't realise you were posting for your own amusement.

I assumed you were posting in your usual role as "professional male victim".

Diddums.