WOW - just lost it big style and couldn't care less who thinks IABU!!

[changingchangingonetwo]

Long term poster - nice ham, red rug, dizzymare, Shiney's penguin date etc etc - name changed

Back story - this week has probably been the most stressful week of my career, with today being the pinnacle of that stress. DH has been aware of this. Moderately supportive but been relying on parents for most support and helpful advice.

I usually cook but if I don't get home "in time", then DH will cook. For himself. Beans or similar. Never bothers to text to ask if want anything. This is a massive bone of contention in itself as I think it is completely fucking selfish as I work much longer hours in any event.

As with the rest of the country, we have snow. I left work at 6:50pm after The World's Worst Day (tm). Went via supermarket as thought I would get something nice for us. Fall over on ice. Bang head badly. Arrive home. DH on phone to his mother. He breaks from his call long enough to advise that he has already eaten so no need to cook for him. Removes himself from my vicinity to continue inconsequential chat with his mother. Has not bothered to text or call to ask where I am/what is happening for food/how was today. Nothing.

I have completely lost it. I have never felt like this before in my life. The red mist I have heard of has descended.

I have pulled everything out of the packages which I bought and thrown in the bin. I have literally ripped of my work clothes which are now unwearable - I couldn't give a fuck. I just managed to restrain myself from trashing the kitchen.

I have barricaded myself in the spare room with the chest of drawers. It is all I can do to restrain myself from physically attacking H. I have NEVER felt anger like this before which is actually quite scary. Prior to tonight, I have NEVER even considered hitting someone. I actually could take a baseball bat to his car (his pride and joy).

I had thought that I might calm down when posting but it has actually made me even more angry.

I don't actually know why I am posting.

[ChippingIn]

Why not book a taxi and book into a hotel for the night? Go to a friends? Send him to a friends?

[ICouldHaveWrittenThis]

NHS Direct - 0845 46 47

[EightiesChick]

YANBU. And while this isn't the major thing to say, while it comes to mind I will: whatever else you do, stop 'usually doing the cooking'. Just do not cook for him. Assume you will be just sorting food out for yourself while you think things over.

[bigbarnfarm]

Do you mind me asking if you're the poster who kicked the car over the parking space?

If you are I'm really feeling for you as I think you sound like you're under an incredible amount of stress.

If DH is shit at talking about the work thing would you like to talk about it here? Or is there someone you can call in RL to support you through it?

[Kaloki]

Please try and take it easy. The rage will pass, you'v obviously been totally overwhelmed today. I'm glad you've taken yourself away from him for now.

You have access to a computer, maybe find something either relaxing or comedic to watch to help you wind down. But do call NHS direct at least.

[EightiesChick]

Actually, I echo the going to a hotel suggestion. That way you're just removed from the whole thing and can cool down without having to stay in the spare room. Worth the money IMO.

[LookToWindward]

"Switched the genders?

Man trashes own stuff and locks himself in room?

Yeah, I'd want him hung for that"

If a man posted the OP he would be hung drawn and quartered. The OP describes fairly extreme and aggressive behaviour which I wouldn't consider acceptable and I'm sure most others here wouldn't if the OP had been posted by a man.

The head injury may mitigate things I suppose but I'd still be concerned at this kind of behaviour.

[spidookly]

changing - please get your head seen to - don't leave potential concussion untreated.

Nothing else is as important as this right now.

If you book a taxi, have it take you to A&E. Have you friend you could call who could meet you there/you could pick up on the way?

[omaoma]

yes please call somebody you trust who is nearby and can help you get some medical advice, or at least just be with you - you need someone kindly there to support you my love

[Iwasthefourthwiseman]

Oh dear, you sound really on the edge. Best stay where you are and calm down a bit. You must be hungry too, being really hungry makes me want to kill someone!

You need to somehow calmly explain to dh what happened and how you feel.

[humanoctopus]

YADNBU. I am a bit worried about your head, hope you are ok. Your dh sounds selfish/selfcentred. I think you need to pack a bag for yourself and get away for a couple of days (preferably somewhere with pampering). It will help to clarify for you, without having to look at him, where this is going. We don't suddenly 'lose it' without good reason. Give yourself a chance to breathe, then make a plan. Poor woman. Men are such dickheads, sometimes....

[thisisyesterday]

OP- i have moments like this
it's often much, much, much worse when i haven' eaten for a while
oh and when i am about to get my period.

but if you haven't eaten since lunchtime then go and get yourself something, even if that means taking yourself out again and sitting in a cafe somewhere.

[NonnoMum]

Agree with spidookly. Nothing else is important right not (work? Clothes? food?)
Just get to A and E and deal with the other stuff later...

[Tolalola]

Yes, I agree with others. Call NHS direct, get your head checked and, assuming it's fine, go to a hotel. Get lovely room service and have a huge soak. With wine. Repeat as necessary.

Your DH is being a twunt, btw. Clearly. Hope you feel better soon.

[spidookly]

"If a man posted the OP he would be hung drawn and quartered."

Is anyone else getting tired of the "reverse sexism" thing on here at the moment.

A woman is massively distressed, potentially with a head injury and you think this is the place to do your bit for men's rights?

FFS

[changingchangingonetwo]

Thank you. You are all being so lovely that I have been in tears. The tears have now been interspersed with horrified hysteria at bigbarnfarm. No, I haven't kicked a car over a parking space. However, I feel for whomever it was. Until tonight I didn't truly realise what proper rage is.

I honestly have been worrying that I was having a breakdown.

Have called NHS direct. Unfortunately, their advice was observation and I can't think of anyone I would rather speak to/be observed by than DH.

[WikiFreak]

you do sound a bit of a teenager tbh
grow up and go and talk

[BlueFergie]

windward if a man usually did the cooking in his house even though he worked more hours. And on the occassions his wife was forced to cook because he wasn't home but only did it for herself I would say the exact same thing about her as I am about to say about the OPs DH.
He is a selfish lazy arse and you can not put up with that disrespect. You are not his fucking skivvy.
He should also be giving you some support and understanding during a difficult stressful time. Your parents should not be your main support your husband should be or there is something wrong IMO.
Finally if you are having tronble remembering things do get yourself checked out. With queried concussion it may not be a good idea to block yourself into a room

[omaoma]

unhelpful wiki

[spidookly]

I'm not sure the food advice is good if she has potential concussion.

Anyone with more up-to-date first aid (or a medical degree!) know?

[NonnoMum]

PS - work stuff? Was it Ofsted?

[Owlingate]

Oh god sometimes I stay on the phone when DP has just got in is it really rude to do that? I'm thinking your reaction must be from a slow build up of things not just what he has done / not done today. Its not his fault you are under stress at work though its clear you do not feel he is supporting you in this and I may have read this wrong but does he know you fell?

If you have the cash and you don't mind leaving the DC I would go to a hotel tbh. I nearly did last week (had let a slow build up of things drive me to a PMS fuelled rage) but managed to talk things through after a few angry tears.

[ShanahansRevenge]

Have a bath...when I feel crap/angry/hurt or anything bad I have a bath and feel better.

DO you have a lump? Does head hurt?

[spidookly]

You mean you want your DH to observe you?

Not sure the stress involved with that tonight is ideal.

If you tell him you're worried will he put the rest of it behind you?

He doesn't even know the half of what was going on anyway.

Have you a teenage/adult child who could observe?