to say to DH that a cricket match every Saturday isn't acceptable now we have a baby?

[HollyBollyBooBoo]

DH and I have been together 8 years, he's passionate about cricket and plays it (not very well, got the duck cup last season) most Saturday's during the season, meaning he's out the house from about midday until 10pm (pitch set up, match, post match drinking) plus goes on 'tour' (a p!ss up in Devon for a few days).

I said to him casually the other day that he won't really be able to do that every Saturday next season, maybe every other would be more appropriate now that we have a DD. I went on to say that I'll be back at work FT, so we need family time together, I'll help round the house and couldn't he play more golf instead which means he's only out of the house for a few hours but is still getting some exercise.

He went mad, literally couldn't believe what I was suggesting and couldn't see the problem with him being out pretty much all day Saturday! Even went onto to say 'don't try and control me, I've dumped girlfriends for less!' I was soooo shocked, we are thick as thieves normally and literally never argue, just work things through if there is a mild difference of opinion, so this really shook me, he was so vehement in his response!

When do we get family time?

When do I get c.10 hours off to do as I please?

Agree with Bonsoir.

It's a season during the summer, one day a week.

Your demanding a whole weekend, every weekend be spent doing 'family' things. Your being ridiculous, IMO.

Take the baby shopping, or for lunch with the girls and have Sunday's as designated 'family' days.

I call bullshit on the 'playing sport is a great example' and 'keeping fit is so important' posters. This is cricket FFS, 95% of it involves standing still in a field, or sitting on a bench.

This is such a surreal thread , can't believe there are women lining up to say how pleased they are to have the kids dumped on them at the weekend while Daddy swans off to do Important Man Stuff.

I would - I'd rather someone with a "passion" than a boring old fart.

"Take the baby shopping, or for lunch with the girls and have Sunday's as designated 'family' days."

No, she can't do that because Sunday will be her day to have 10 hours child free while her DH takes the baby shopping and goes for lunch with the boys.

Candlestickmaker, under your model, where does the OP get her free 10 hours leisure time?

It is a great example.

My DH went through a stage of playing cricket. At the end of the season all the families went along, watching the match and had a barbeque afterwards, it was great. All the kids (sons and daughters) set up there own game and had a fab time.

Someone with "a passion" is a boring old fart.

Identifying yourself entirely with your hobby and expecting everyone else in the world to bend themselves out of shape to accommodate it and thinking it makes you interesting

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

That's nice candle, but where does the OP get her regular weekly 10 hours child-free leisure time?

Maybe she could take up a winter sport.

LOL at spidookly

Youa re mking me larf on this thread

Heathen - have you ever played cricket??

I have (extremely badly and under duress - I much prefer watching it and getting pissed drinking tea as a spectator) those pitches are a lot longer than they look.....and fields much bigger as well when you're running for that ball to stop them getting a 4, or trying to catch that ball to get them out.

But maybe the sport she wants to take part in is sailing?

Why should she be limited to winter?

Or do men get automatic dibs on the season they prefer?

Candle that might be a solution

But I bet - I just bet - that within 2 weeks, the OP's dh will realise just how drainign spending 10 hours alone with a child is while your DP is out enjoying themselves, and renege on the deal.

"Identifying yourself entirely with your hobby and expecting everyone else in the world to bend themselves out of shape to accommodate it and thinking it makes you interesting"

Where on earth does it say the OP is bending herself out of shape to accommodate his hobby??!

Well, the OP's DH does, because this has always been his hobby.

Aree spidookly et al -

'October is a sad month. it is when the hard-core cricket fan realises his wife left in May'.

immortal words from Clement Freud

and no, it doesn't take two adults to are for one baby - it takes two adults to care for each other. If one of them works all week and does sport all weekend every weekend all summer, there's no time for that.

"just how drainign spending 10 hours alone with a child"

Oh please. Because she's housebound now?!

Nowhere, that comment is part of another discussion about how people's "passions" must never be interfered with by real life.

tbh spending 10 hours every weekend doing the childcare on your own, does sound like bending yourself out of shape for someone else's hobby.

The other thing it sounds like, is being a single parent. I spend all weekend every weekend doing the childcare, but then, I don't have to service a husband as well so fair do's.

It's not all weekend Permature.

Your all being hysterical.

scaryteacher She is treating her DH like a child. She has a problem with something he does and has always done and has come up with a solution for him.

"She has also made it plain by suggesting golf that she sees his need for him time and is willing to accommodate that," He doesn't have a need for "time" he has a need for cricket and that is what the OP is failing to take into account. Where does she get off telling him that he can't do what he wants but can have time to do something else instead? Who is she to make decisions for him?

I still find it very strange that a FT working mum resents 10 hours, once a week, for five months of the year, alone with her DD. Didn't she really want this baby?

Sorry candle I mean "alone" there in the sense of being solely responsible for the childcare, not necessarily on your own. Wsn't clear.

Um.......I have an important newsflash which may come as a shock

Apparently some women have hobbies which are not-

1. shopping
2. having lunch with the girls
3. watching their DH pursue his hobby

Who knew? Amazing isnt it?

And can I reiterate, the OP is not asking her partner to give up cricket. She's asking him to cut back a bit so she doesnt spend all week working, and all Saturday minding the baby solo.

Well said Prema