to say to DH that a cricket match every Saturday isn't acceptable now we have a baby?

[HollyBollyBooBoo]

DH and I have been together 8 years, he's passionate about cricket and plays it (not very well, got the duck cup last season) most Saturday's during the season, meaning he's out the house from about midday until 10pm (pitch set up, match, post match drinking) plus goes on 'tour' (a p!ss up in Devon for a few days).

I said to him casually the other day that he won't really be able to do that every Saturday next season, maybe every other would be more appropriate now that we have a DD. I went on to say that I'll be back at work FT, so we need family time together, I'll help round the house and couldn't he play more golf instead which means he's only out of the house for a few hours but is still getting some exercise.

He went mad, literally couldn't believe what I was suggesting and couldn't see the problem with him being out pretty much all day Saturday! Even went onto to say 'don't try and control me, I've dumped girlfriends for less!' I was soooo shocked, we are thick as thieves normally and literally never argue, just work things through if there is a mild difference of opinion, so this really shook me, he was so vehement in his response!

When do we get family time?

When do I get c.10 hours off to do as I please?

Thank you candle.

I wonder how you would feel if you worked ft too? I think you might feel differently.

Maybe I'm not seeing the problem here as a friend of mines husband takes 3 holidays a year without her and their 4 children. That I do have a problem with.

Hullygully not all obviously!

Sorry HerBeatitude - didn't see that.

I would feel the same, as I did when I did work full time.

Yes - it is all relative!

I do think it makes a huge difference if both work ft. A lot of women who work for nothing ( unpaid childcare, cooking, cleaning etc etc etc) tend to feel that as the man does get paid, he is entitled to free time at the w/e.

Hey ho.

hully

ro a certain extent, yes, to sacrificing herself to making our lives a bit less fecking miserable.

But perhaps if she had just crucified him less for playing cricket - in front of us all - that would have been just as good.

hell, I dont know. I am just saying that, as a vicious child ( I just wished she'd let the silly old bastard play his stupid cricket.
And preferrably come with us instead of allowing him to take us off her hands and nearly kill ourselves wading into bogs/climbing running tractors/playing 'dead' in the busy road opposite the cricket ground.

She didn't sacrifice her wants for us at all is what I think I am saying.

Thanks mum and dad. [angry cricket-war orphan emoticon]

Nothing wrong with him taking 3 holidays a year without her, as long as she's allowed to take 3 hollidays a year without him.

They both fucked up. It happens (a lot). I hope you are happier now?

And think how unhappy she must have been - at least he still got to do what he wanted...

If I post it 3 x like Hully, will someone answer me too?
How many men roll up to watch their wives play netball/hockey or whatever?
Why are women expected to enjoy following their men around like this? Not sure what's worse, football/rugby, which is "only" a couple of hours but chuffin' cold usually, or cricket, which has a higher chance of some sun, but goes on for bloody hours.

Oh no, I feel equally entitled to free time at the weekend.

HerBeatitude - of course she's not, it would be almost impossible to go on holiday with 4 children on your own . This is why I have the problem...

When you both work full time your weekends are really short and there is always dull maintenance stuff that needs to be done as well as looking after the sprog.

I wouldn't be happy if my DH was off all day most Saturdays of the summer, no matter how passionately he felt about it. Babies are time sinks for the first two years in my opinion. It's not forever.

I would, Clammy, but i have no idea. I don't know anyone that carries on like that, male or female.

I mean, she didnt give a toss what we got up to while we were stuck at cricket with him. we nearly killed ourselves several times. we were all under ten. at least. I ran wild at 7 at that county ground fgs.

so who was the biggest idiot? sacrifice?? bleurgh. neither of them would do so. She was a feminist after all. pah.
she was just as bloody selfish and controlling as he was.

Pore ol UA, caught in the marital crossfire.

The best revenge is living well. (I had a right old hoo-hah of a yoof too).

Personally I couldn't stand being married to someone who didn't have hobbies/passions in his life (like I do) - think of all those dull couples you see when their children have left home who seem to have no interests of their own ('empty nest syndrome' - sad).

Perhaps they should take up cricket, then Ragwort? Or maybe bowls?

Clammy

Is it shit for a mum to sacrifice her saturdays to go and watch her son play football or cricket while he is a lad? I dunno. I have a small son and am a single parent. I might pull him up short on it when he needs lifts to footy in the future and tell him to start bloody compromising omn his stupid blooody ball games. after all, I didnt expect to have a boy when I got into the pregnancy lark.

I have to say my ds plays rugby and I have yet to watch a single match/game. Why on earth would I?

You shall have them. There there.