to say to DH that a cricket match every Saturday isn't acceptable now we have a baby?

[HollyBollyBooBoo]

DH and I have been together 8 years, he's passionate about cricket and plays it (not very well, got the duck cup last season) most Saturday's during the season, meaning he's out the house from about midday until 10pm (pitch set up, match, post match drinking) plus goes on 'tour' (a p!ss up in Devon for a few days).

I said to him casually the other day that he won't really be able to do that every Saturday next season, maybe every other would be more appropriate now that we have a DD. I went on to say that I'll be back at work FT, so we need family time together, I'll help round the house and couldn't he play more golf instead which means he's only out of the house for a few hours but is still getting some exercise.

He went mad, literally couldn't believe what I was suggesting and couldn't see the problem with him being out pretty much all day Saturday! Even went onto to say 'don't try and control me, I've dumped girlfriends for less!' I was soooo shocked, we are thick as thieves normally and literally never argue, just work things through if there is a mild difference of opinion, so this really shook me, he was so vehement in his response!

When do we get family time?

When do I get c.10 hours off to do as I please?

presumably because you dont have to...your other half goes to watch him.

wow. only read to page two. am NOT reading teh whole thread but acnnot believe soem of teh response here. Bonsoir is surely on a wind up.

OP i don't think you are being unreasonable at all requesting taht your DH reduces teh amount of time he spends on a hobby now that he has created a life. he chose to create that life with you and so must compromise with you about how chidlcare and free time will be spent by both of you. you need time to chill aswell. he sounds incredibly selfish.

Not on your nelly! He's even less likely to. We do lots of stuff with the dc (Latin declensions, quadrilateral equations, shit teen movies), but we Don't. Do. Sport.

What an interesting memory for your ds:
'my mum never watched me kick a single goal or score a single try. She's dead now. The selfish old bint. I wont do that to my kids if ever I have them....bglah blah' and so the sports arguments go on and on and on ad nauseam down the generations.

at Latin declensions.

And I don't do dads. I shall never compromise on this. Ever.

That is an aside and I am being serious btw.

No, he understands. They both think our total non-awareness of and interest in sport is funny. We have always been honest and said we're delighted for them to do it and will facilitate it (bribe other people to take them) etc etc, but that we aren't interested.

We ae interested in lots of other things, honest.

What do you mean you don't do dads?

Hully, nooooooooooooooooooo!

UA has an "Ex."

hully - do you ever think of all the volunteers that give up their time to coach and support the youngsters playing rugby; I am sure they would value your input occasionally. I'm totally uninterested in a lot of things my DS does, but I would always offer my support and encouragement, especially if other adults are volunteering to help him.

Ragwort - yes of course. But I do my bit in other ways, really.

and i agree with everything spidookly has said (which is unusual for me )

I still do not see what on earth is unreasonable about pointing out 'now we have a daughter, you won't be able to go off and play cricket every Saturday in the summer'. It's not even an instruction. It's an observation. When you have a baby, you can't. What sane person would think it was possible?

so what does going to see your child play sport/ not going to see your child play sport have to do with a full grown man and supposedly equal partner swanning off and leaving mum holding the baby?
I also agree with everything spidookly has said.

hully - perhaps your lack of interest in sports makes your opinion on this subject void. Just like me being a SAHM makes does mine.

I became a father in my twenties before first DC was I had no idea at all how life changing it would be. I remember confidently stating 'it won't change my life much' and being looked at pityingly by men with children. This went for DP as well.

But it is life changing and I think he just has no idea at the moment, early days, he'll learn. Just make sure he does 50/50 of the childcare etc. and hopefully, like me, he'll find out how rewarding it can be.

And when the DC get older things get easier anyway, and he can carry on with cricket and if they want his DC can get involved

sixper - it was an aside, a tangent, a little stroll down a different avenue.

candle - it's not what he wants to do, it's the time it takes and his attitude to his partner. Cricket/latin/tiddlywinks/masturbation. The activity is irrelevant.

funky (not sure if that was to me) but no, hobbies arent childish, I don't think anyone was saying they were.

Yeah, well, after stating categorically upthread that there is no way on earth I would every entertain a boring bastard man who like sport, I have ended up with a daughter who loves football rugby and hockey.

Oh how I love watching her play football matches in the freezing january drizzle at 10am on a sunday morning.

dd - 'mum! I got a goal'

me- yay!!

at Hully

Well after reading all that I'm exhausted so for now I'll just say I agree with Spidookily

I think if it were masturbation for 10 hours on a Saturday it would put a slightly different spin on it, don't you?