to say to DH that a cricket match every Saturday isn't acceptable now we have a baby?

[HollyBollyBooBoo]

DH and I have been together 8 years, he's passionate about cricket and plays it (not very well, got the duck cup last season) most Saturday's during the season, meaning he's out the house from about midday until 10pm (pitch set up, match, post match drinking) plus goes on 'tour' (a p!ss up in Devon for a few days).

I said to him casually the other day that he won't really be able to do that every Saturday next season, maybe every other would be more appropriate now that we have a DD. I went on to say that I'll be back at work FT, so we need family time together, I'll help round the house and couldn't he play more golf instead which means he's only out of the house for a few hours but is still getting some exercise.

He went mad, literally couldn't believe what I was suggesting and couldn't see the problem with him being out pretty much all day Saturday! Even went onto to say 'don't try and control me, I've dumped girlfriends for less!' I was soooo shocked, we are thick as thieves normally and literally never argue, just work things through if there is a mild difference of opinion, so this really shook me, he was so vehement in his response!

When do we get family time?

When do I get c.10 hours off to do as I please?

But the OP doesn't want to do that candle.

At least not every weekend.

I think that sounds lovely to do a two or three times. But not every weekend.

I don't like cricket Baroqin, I like wine though

This thread is surreal

No candle, men with an overdeveloped sense of entitlement don't see it as a problem if their wives lives change completely when they have children, but their lives remain exactly as they were when they were bachelors/ childless.

If it is a problem for one half of a couple, it is a problem. That's a pretty basic rule of relationships, I think.

We didn't do it every weekend.

Other weekends were spent with family (Mum, sister), friends... at the park, swimming, whatever. You don't have to have your DH with you to enjoy time with your children.

We've about 60 female adult bowls and netball players at our club. If I suggested to them they were neglecting their families and thet should get back to their kids, I'd be ripped to shreads.

Litchick I have no recollection of typing " childcare duties" which isn't to say I didn't! Could you point out the post please?

And when does the OP get her 10 hours of child free leiure candle?

Kick him in the popping crease.(Helpful cricket-based suggestion). :o

I think if I had persued a hobby for 8 years, I would feel fairly entitled to continue it. Especially for such a minimal amount of time.

I agree greatgal, except for the bit about apologising for how she presented it.

Given the utterly outrageous and completely out of proportion response to her pretty reasonable, but slightly presumptuous suggestion, she should not even consider apologising first.

Or discussing it further. Or indeed anything further until he has apologised profusely for his abusive attempt to bully her into conceding to his wishes.

What a way to speak to your wife - "I've dumped girlfriends for less"!

I can't even tell you how furious I would be if DH ever spoke to me like that.

shhh Candles - I'm trying to get away from the fact that the reason I first started to go and help out in the pavilion was because of the booze (but I do now also love Cricket as a result, and Rugby - the DS's still sit and look at me in wonder as I yell at the TV whe it's on.) Hoping to get and see Northampton Saints playing next year now DS3 is a bit older (and he's also sports mad)

{grin] @ Truckulent

Does she want it HerBeatitude?

even

thelibster - in your post of 10:55:53, you say it is difficult for teams to get young fittish players because they are all doing 'child care duties'.

Exactly ski.

He sounds like a prize tool.

'I have left my girlfriends for less'.

What lovely sentiments to express to the mother of your child.

Oh I shouldn't think so Candle - after all, women don't have wants and needs like men do they, they're just not quite as important and human as men

'don't try and control me, I've dumped girlfriends for less!'

He sounds charming .

"and when does the OP get her 10 hours of child free leiure candle?"

For any of the other 80% of the time at the weekends that's still available presuming he doesn't change "anything". Even more time available if he agrees not to go early to set up, or stay afterwards for the post match booze.

I hope the DD doesn't decide to take up a sport where training is at the weekend.........

HerBeatitude I don't see anyone here, for the DH continuing to play his cricket or against, condoning his outrageous threats or the way he expressed his anger at being told what he should do?!!

The difference, bonsoir is that paid employment is a necessity. Fannying about with a cricket ball for endless hours every Saturday to qualify for the duck cup (in this case) is not. Or at least, if you want to do this, then you negotiate terms between you first so that you're both happy with the plan. That's not happening here.

People use the necessity argument about paid employment to get their own way all the time, and I don't buy it. It's no different to any other type of useful commitment.

YANBU . Cricket???? FFS.

I agree what he said was out of line,

However we don't know what else was said during the argument by either party . I've come out with some pretty awful outrageous shite during heated arguments before and I know my BF has confided in me before that she's said some dreadful stuff in rows with her DH. So I wouldn't presume that the OP didn't also say something that was out of line.