To think this doesn't constitute 'Sunday lunch'

[Doobies]

I probably am but am so starving hungry and pissed off I don't care....

Myself, dh and ds eight months visited dh's brother and his wife today. They normally come to us as they have been renovating their house (it's all completed now) and I always cook a Sunday roast. They live a good hour and half drive away so I think its appropriate to have a nice meal ready for them.

Anyway, they invited us over and said they would cook Sunday lunch which I assumed would be a roast dinner type of thing and ds could pick bits of it. It took us two hours to get there and when we arrived finally at three this is what was waiting for us:

2 mini quiches between the four adults

A bowl of bagged salad leaves

Four slices of ham and four sticks of cheese

A French stick

And, I kid you not, a turkey burger thing cut into four pieces.

There was nothing there that ds could eat because he has a dairy intolerance.

I could have cried. I was sooooo hungry and there was barely enough to go round. Am I expecting too much? They have invited us again in a month but I don't think I can bear it....

Tell me to get a life. I think I have low blood sugar....

Suggest when you go next time eating out!

Find a local carvery where you can go and tell them you meet them there.

It was definitely odd that they didn't provide enough food. I do wonder if they forgot you were coming - I realise that that does sound bloody ridiculous, but I know how disorganised I can be. I forget dates, and lose track of the days, and things creep up on me unexpectedly, even if I do write them on my calendar. But if I had done that, I would have been utterly and grovellingly open about it, and would have gone out for takeaway or extra food and alchohol.

But what I love about this thread is Spero bursting out of her shell and learning the joys of dropping the passive from passive-aggresive! She is Spero, hear her roar! You go girl!

ROAR. This is great.

Ephiny - yes, not wishing to hijack thread, I don't think op drove two hours, but I did, i.e. it was a special thing, not a regular occurence and I did expect a nice meal at the end of it.

It felt like she was very resentful of catering for me - so why invite me in the first place?

Anyway, it won't be a problem in the future, now I have unleased my inner bitch.

I may go hungry and have no friends left but at least I will say what needs to be said.

If you come here, Spero, I promise that, at the very least, you will get hearty, filling homemade soup - and cake too!

Were they expecting you at three, or were you late and they had cleared up from Sunday lunch an hour-and-a-half ago?

Are they Southern? Sorry to display my prejudices but I'm a Northern girl, married to a Southerner and they can be a bit weird, especially when it comes to food. I once drove for four hours to a christening in the South, taking with me a gift for the child, to be fed on one small baked potato. I was sure that the chicken or the ham would come out soon but it never did! My SIL once served lentil soup as the main meal of the day. My MIL said the christening thing would be fairly normal where they live. Where we live in the North East, that would be considered inappropriate and actually slightly shaming to the family involved, old fashioned as that idea may seem. And if they are short of money, there are plenty of dishes that cost almost nothing to cook. Pasta in a homemade tomato sauce can be made by the shed load for pennies. So no,YANBU. Where you go from here, I have no idea!

SDTG, soup SOUP? I thought I had made myself perfectly clear about the soup issue.

It had better be in solid gold bowls, served by James Marsters with his top off, or you will not see me round your way again.

How is OP ungrateful? If you invite someone for lunch, at least make sure there is enough to go round FFS.

YANBU, I would be cross too. Not saying they should have done a roast but provided a reasonable amount of food would have been nice!

YANBU. I would have been starving after that. I wouldn't have expected food suitable for a baby though - I always take something for DS and he hasn't any allergies.

My grandma undercaters because she has a really small appetite and puts out enough for her multiplied by the number of guests plus a bit. Its not enough for most of the rest of us. We don't say anything though because she goes to a lot of effort - the food is lovely and homecooked, there's just not a lot of it and she's quite elderly so its not so easy for her anymore.

We all stopped at the takeaway on the way home last time.

Better than MIL and her cat's bum face whenever DH or I ask for a snack to keep us going before lunch. Honestly, you would think we were asking for the world. Lunch is normally very late by this time, being served 2 hours later than advertised, and some 6 hours after breakfast. Plenty of it when it finally does arrive though.

If I was invited for "sunday lunch" - I would expcet a roast dinner or simialr large meal

If I was invited "for lunch, how about Sunday?" then a lighter buffet style might be expected

I do think the amounts in the OP are stingy, and I think they forgot and were too embarrassed to say so! (perhaps cos they could not afford to do the stand by of pub lunch/take away)

Because I'm clearly short of things to do I ran the menu through a calorie counter site and got 365 calories.

Nonononononononoooooo - please don't be cross with me, Spero! I did promise cake too - and it would be home made. Or how about a hearty casserole or home made meat and potato pie?

I promise you - you won't want to leave!

PerpetuallyAnnoyed - I wouldn't necessarily do a roast, even if it was a sunday, but I would do a proper meal, with pudding, and send everyone home satisfied. I do think that the type of food served is less important than enjoying eachother's company - but there does have to be enough food.

They didnt forget. They called us the day before to confirm. Showed dh the thread. He reckons that they just don't eat. End of.

Dh reckons i should stop making a massive effort when they come to us.

SDTG If you invite James as well then I'll bring the food. Probably safer that way.

If for whatever reason, be it your own personal beliefs aqbout portion size or money, youcannot serve a guest an adequate FOR THEM meal, you do not invite them to eat.

I have served better meals than that to plumbers!

Doobies, but that doesn't make any sense. Surely they noticed that you serve up larger meals? Wouldn't that clue them in to the fact that your appetites are a bit larger than their own?

Or are some people really that clueless?

I agree with your dh that you shouldn't make a massive effort, but then nobody needs to make a 'massive' effort to ensure that everyone is well fed and happy.

It doesn't have to be a roast pig with an apple in its mouth everytime, just some reasonably nice food in reasonably nice portions and some of SDTG's cake.

Dh reckons i should stop making a massive effort when they come to us.

If you do not enjoy the cooking or it makes you resentful then yes your Dh is right - stop making a massive effort try and enjoy their company when they visit instead.

Great name, Masochismtangoer, although I'm more of a Pigeon Poisoner myself!

DrSeuss - have to say I am a Londoner and what you described does not sound normal to me! Not all of us like to starve down here!

Really not a Southern thing, whoever said that.

I'm about as Southern as you can get and I would serve what the OP has decribed as an appetiser. and I'm thin too.

Doobies when they came to yours for lunch, did they eat much?

Yes, I do think that it sounded enough food and I'm not a size 8, far from it sadly! People usually think that I am a complete pig because I am, shall we say, "well rounded"? Oh, ok then, fat. I often get given quizzical looks at dinner/lunch parties with people I don't know well and they tend to think I'm just turning my nose up at their food but I find it really stressful to be presented with a huge plateful. Some people can be very blunt and I've even had one guy say to me, "are you full? surely not! I'd have thought from the size of you, you'd eat loads more than that!

Great name, Masochismtangoer, although I'm more of a Pigeon Poisoner myself!

Thanks .
Thought about Pigeon Poisoner - as it was playing when I named changed but over thought and feared people would think I was advocating Pigeon Poisoning.

OK, so, to clarify, the in laws are both freaky AND Southern, this is just them, there is no causal link?! Had been thinking the two were linked but in reality they are just bizarre. Seems reasonable!