To think this doesn't constitute 'Sunday lunch'

[Doobies]

I probably am but am so starving hungry and pissed off I don't care....

Myself, dh and ds eight months visited dh's brother and his wife today. They normally come to us as they have been renovating their house (it's all completed now) and I always cook a Sunday roast. They live a good hour and half drive away so I think its appropriate to have a nice meal ready for them.

Anyway, they invited us over and said they would cook Sunday lunch which I assumed would be a roast dinner type of thing and ds could pick bits of it. It took us two hours to get there and when we arrived finally at three this is what was waiting for us:

2 mini quiches between the four adults

A bowl of bagged salad leaves

Four slices of ham and four sticks of cheese

A French stick

And, I kid you not, a turkey burger thing cut into four pieces.

There was nothing there that ds could eat because he has a dairy intolerance.

I could have cried. I was sooooo hungry and there was barely enough to go round. Am I expecting too much? They have invited us again in a month but I don't think I can bear it....

Tell me to get a life. I think I have low blood sugar....

I think YABU for expecting a roast dinner just because your are invited over for Sunday lunch. Come to mine on a Sunday and you will get all manner of meals. I rarely cook a roast on a Sunday - infact more likely to do a roast one week day than a Sunday.

I am unlikely to serve a salad at the momeny - more of a summer thing here or a light meal, not a proper dinner type thing.

However, it looks like they did not do enough food for this meal an failed to cater for your DS. I assume they know of your DS's dairy intolerance and they should have provided him with some food he could eat.

The turkey burger thing does seem odd and doesn't seem to fit in with the rest of the food. It does seem a little thrown together as if they forgot.

But it isn't the type of lunch surely, it's the amount of food. It's not 'roast v quiche' it's 'sufficient v hunger rations'.

If you invite people around you provide enough of whatever you're providing for all those invited.

sounds like they used up what was leftover from the fridge,but lol:o At least in Scotland we will ask "you will have had you tea"?

I think that lunch is a small meal and dinner would be a large meal.
I think that what you were offered was perfectly acceptable, a slice of quiche, some ham and salad would be fine. yABU

It sounds bang out of order to me. Whatever meal people come for, there has to be LOADS - be that salad in the summer or stew and dumplings in the winter.

I could not have people over for food in the winter without serving up a hot meal in large quantities.

Yes definately you're NOT being unreasonable at ALL, sounds outrageous and very mean . Even if they had forgotten, and cought them on the hop, they could have gone to to local takeaway Fish and chips or suggested you all go out for pizza , their invitation of course - they are your family !

You had traveled a long way to visit them and that giving them a decent meal, it doesn't have to be grand or a huge joint of roast beef but a good and satisfying meal is the least you should expect. my goodness this is basic good manners, irespective of how much money people have.

I am shocked some others here seem to think that what you got was acceptable as a meal for 4 adults and that you are being unreasonable .

YANBU. Not only are the portions absolutely tiny and inadequate, but the turkey burger is just plain weird.

Definitely not an acceptable meal when you invite people over. I would never serve a salad in the Winter to guests, and even if I did, I would've done a massive bowl of pasta and ensured there was plenty of dessert.

It does sound like they forgot, we've all been there.

If they forgot, couldn't they nip down to the shops and get some pizzas or similar?

If I forgot, I would rather admit and go get some more food than serve misery portions to guests who have travelled a long way - I think that would be far more embarrassing.

I don't think they forgot, I think some people are just plain weird. I once drove TWO HOURS for lunch with a friend - I was heavily pregnant and she served tomato soup from a can with one piece of bread.

That did actually end the friendship. I was so hungry and so pissed off I had travelled all that way for canned soup. If you don't fancy cooking there are loads of nice ready meal things you could get, or just do a big bowl of pasta.

YANBU.

It does sound like they forgot, we've all been there.

Really? This has never happened to me yet.

I have been caught out by joints sizes - rabbit first time cooking it and a duck given away free and I had not checked size - but there was lots of veg and huge dessert.

If it did happen - I think we go out for food or get take-out.

Sounds like a effortless quick ready made meal to me. I don't think its the law to have a roast on a Sunday but some other HOT meal (and lots of it) would have been equally fab - sausage cassarole or pork stir fry in this freezing weather maybe?

Could you not have asked them to boil some pasta for your DS?

Odd really as so easy to stick a chicken in the oven & boil some potatoes.

I think if they ask again then need to ask what they are making for your DS.

For one adult that translates to
1/2 mini quiche, salad leaves, 1/4 turkey burger, 1/4 french stick with cheese and ham.

That would be more than plenty for me, but I like light meals.

They might have thought that you would bring food for the baby, especially as he has a dairy intolerance.

We rarely have roast dinners. Too heavy. Puts both dh and me to sleep....

It sounds to me like your BIL and SIL just don't care about food. My brother is like that - happy to eat any old thing you put in front of him. Poor hungry you though!

Take some next time

Roast dinners are only heavy if you eat too much of it.
YADNBU op!
Even if they are skinny minnies who only eat light lunches, they should be intelligent enough to work out that the op's family eat hot, bigger lunches on sundays if that is what they get everytime they visit.
I would think that if you were not a complete dumbass, you would conclude that a light, summer snack ( which this meal was lets be honest ) isn't going to go down well, at all.
YABU to expect them to provide food for your DS though, i never expected it until my son was completely weaned, and could eat reasonably well.

I think the whole thing is quite rude tbh.
I don't like to waste food, but i like to make guests feel like they can have as much each as they like without having to consider others.
For example, im pretty sure most people could manage 4 pieces of ham, half a baguette, some salad and cheese quite happily, but you were forcebly restricted to the tiny amount they saw fit, without taking into consideration your normal eating needs.
There should always be some leftovers, always.

I think it was inconsiderate as they were not thinking of what you guys like to eat. But perhaps they are not too concerned about food and usually graze? Perhaps they are simply really crappy hosts and cooks?

PS I would gather they do not like roast dinner and keep that in mind next time you have them over for a meal. I rarely make it for guests. However, I do make a proper, well balanced hot meal, with lots of food, nobody would have low sugar after eating at our home!

maybe they thought you needed to be on a diet from all the sunday lunches LOL

sorry couldnt resist

yanbu at all, sounds like a snack not a proper meal. I agree that not everyone likes a roast or has a roast on Sundays, but if you have guests coming round you should have enough food to go around. A turkey burger or two for each person more like, not dividing one into four portions . My family is of Mediterranean descent and this would be seen as rude if you have invited guests and served this.

Nextime they come, Turkey burgers and oven chips all round then

YANBU - BUT !!! are they young? My brother was a terrible host but after a few similar encounters to the one you've described, he got his act together. Well, a bit - he'd usually got some food in the fridge when we turned up.

What a shite lunch. I couldve done better and I am a crap cook.

Didnt have to be a roast granted.

YANBU

They forgot. One burger cut into four? ffs! I'd have been rummaging through their cupboards myself

their next visit offer them poptarts