To think this doesn't constitute 'Sunday lunch'

[Doobies]

I probably am but am so starving hungry and pissed off I don't care....

Myself, dh and ds eight months visited dh's brother and his wife today. They normally come to us as they have been renovating their house (it's all completed now) and I always cook a Sunday roast. They live a good hour and half drive away so I think its appropriate to have a nice meal ready for them.

Anyway, they invited us over and said they would cook Sunday lunch which I assumed would be a roast dinner type of thing and ds could pick bits of it. It took us two hours to get there and when we arrived finally at three this is what was waiting for us:

2 mini quiches between the four adults

A bowl of bagged salad leaves

Four slices of ham and four sticks of cheese

A French stick

And, I kid you not, a turkey burger thing cut into four pieces.

There was nothing there that ds could eat because he has a dairy intolerance.

I could have cried. I was sooooo hungry and there was barely enough to go round. Am I expecting too much? They have invited us again in a month but I don't think I can bear it....

Tell me to get a life. I think I have low blood sugar....

or pombears

they definitely forgot, sounds like their provisions for the day

but I find it weird that they or you did not mention it, is it a British thing?

in my family this sort of thing just would not pass, food is important, expected and demanded

I would have to do something good even with minimal cooking....couldnt bear the thought of people leaving my house hungry or annoyed. This reminds me of the odd food on the bonkers couple thread.

It doesn't sound as if the OP was expecting a roast, just something with exual attention and effort. A light Sunday lunch would have been fine, when well thought out in terms of nutritional balance and portion size, and presented nicely.

Light lunch, super-light lunch or not... dividing a single turkey burger between four people... is tacky however you look at it!

Turkey burgers are what you have for dinner when money is tight and you run the freezer down!

When they specifically invited you for a meal, I don't think YABU to expect just that. A meal, not a snack.

I think they're either young and foolish or trying to make a point: "Look at us, if you ate like this you'd be thin too." Regardless of what they normally eat, they must know you usually have a big Sunday lunch. Piss poor hosting.

YANBU.

are they skint?

Did you look in their fridge? Perhaps they had a huge argument before you arrived and just lost track of time and then realised that there wasn't time to cook the huge joint they'd bought? Have to say that, apart from the turkey burger thing the rest sounds okish to me. Plenty for four people, might have served soup/something hot as it's the middle of winter but quantities seem fine.

Ha - sounds so much like my BIL and his wife. Their favourite trick is to serve up frozen pizza. One small one between four adults. And if you bring wine it disappears, never to be seen again. I once brought chocolates in the hope that we might at least have something with our coffee to raise the blood sugar levels, but SIL said "oh, thanks, I'll enjoy those later in the week"...

Personally I think having plenty of food - nothing fancy but for god's sake not something out of a packet - is part of making guests feel welcome and thought about.

I am laughing at the pregnant poster that ended her friendship over a can of tomato soup and bread for lunch.

Really?

FFS get over yourself.

The BIL was catering, from a pov 'your family, you do the work'. (I'm presuming he's the one related to your dh?).

He went out in the morning to get the food, and came back with food that he thought was a safe bet: bread, salad, cheese, ham, mini quiche.

He came home, your SIL saw it was far too little food so added the turkey burger. However, she didn;t say anything, as that would undermine the point of getting you BIL to tkae equal responsibility for entertaining.

Basically, it sounds like somehting my dad would be quite proud to dish up (with an air of 'I don't know why these women make so much fuss about cooking!').

I'm veggie, so I wouldn't cook a roast.
Meals for visitors and family are however very varied, with enough to feed everyone + about 50%
Go next time they invite you, learn from the experience and take a large picnic.
eat their little snack, then open your magnificent hamper.
Tell them not to worry, you've come for the company not the food, and then tuck in.

Dear Wordsonascreen, thank you so much for your mirth. It was lovely to drive for two hours, be starving hungry and be given a bowl of canned tomato soup and one piece of bread. It left me with very warm and loving feelings towards my friend indeed. Sarcasm emoticon.

But of course, I didn't have the guts to say 'what the fuck is this you dozy cow? I'm starving! Why invite people to lunch if you can't be bothered to feed them?'

so I never called her again. passive aggressive fuckwittery maybe... but unreasonable I think not.

You forgot to sign off properly with

Love Spero

and a

You're just not doing true passive aggressive. Its nothing personal to you but..

IMO you can't be proper friends with someone if you can't say "what the fuck is this?"

The OP had family considerations which mutes it slightly (but not much)

[ponders wether to end with a smilie]

[doesn't as I hate them]

They are odd. Even if they di dforget, why serve one turkey burger cut into four? Surely you'd do at least a turkey burger each or not bother? They ABU for even having turkey burgers in the house anyway...

Fine to do a buffet style lunch,m but surely you need to make sure there's enough to go round?

They forgot! I'd put money on it.

It does sound odd. It isn't a case of having to have a roast on a Sunday, but if I was giving guests quiche for Sunday lunch, there would be lots of it, plus loads of salad, big jacket potatoes etc.

If they forgot, why not just say? I don't understand why people pretend in this situation. I would be far less embarassed to say 'you know, whsat scheduling snafu, just popping out to Sainsburys, back in 15 minutes', than serve miniscule portions of inadequate food, and have them wondering what on earth had happened, and posting on mn about it!

D

Are the posters who are saying the portions sound fine serious?

my 19month old would polish off at least half of that for lunch. I once gave him half a mini quiche and looked at me as though to say, are you mad, where's the rest of my food woman!

I would say YWBU if you expected a proper roast but not if you just wanted a decent sized meal.

The quarter turky burger is odd but the amount that has been described is what I would put on my plate if I was at a buffet. Well I wouldn't have that much bread tbh.

However I would have put much more food out. I like plenty of leftovers when I have guests

I think I agree with SylvanianFamily.

DH, DS and I stayed for a few days with some lovely friends of ours, they eat very little. I make fajitas often and always do enough for 3 each. We're not fatties just greedy . so because we were away from home my friend made them for us. There was barely enough to go around for one each! I though DH was going to faint from hunger, and had to ask my friend if I could make a jacket spud for DS. She was fine about it, I piled a whole tin of beans and load of cheese on and DH "fed" DS! It was a bit embarrassing, but we take shedloads with us now to get over the food issue.

YANBU I think I know these people.

Think one small 8" skinny pizza between 4 adults and 2 kids with a tiny bowl of spinach & tomato salad - for lunch!!!!! & this was actually the best meal they've ever served. I don't there for mealtimes anymore. And yes they are very thin!

Re Spero's situation: If I couldn't say to someone 'Actually I'm really hungry, can we pop to the shop or something and get some more food?' then I'm probably not friendly enough with them to drive 2 hours for lunch. Maybe she just realised this?