To think this doesn't constitute 'Sunday lunch'

[Doobies]

I probably am but am so starving hungry and pissed off I don't care....

Myself, dh and ds eight months visited dh's brother and his wife today. They normally come to us as they have been renovating their house (it's all completed now) and I always cook a Sunday roast. They live a good hour and half drive away so I think its appropriate to have a nice meal ready for them.

Anyway, they invited us over and said they would cook Sunday lunch which I assumed would be a roast dinner type of thing and ds could pick bits of it. It took us two hours to get there and when we arrived finally at three this is what was waiting for us:

2 mini quiches between the four adults

A bowl of bagged salad leaves

Four slices of ham and four sticks of cheese

A French stick

And, I kid you not, a turkey burger thing cut into four pieces.

There was nothing there that ds could eat because he has a dairy intolerance.

I could have cried. I was sooooo hungry and there was barely enough to go round. Am I expecting too much? They have invited us again in a month but I don't think I can bear it....

Tell me to get a life. I think I have low blood sugar....

They should have clarified that 'lunch on Sunday' means snack rather than dinner, especially in light of your roasts.

The amount sounds OK if you are going to have a larger hot meal later on. They are poor hosts though for not providing this. Even if money were an issue, a heap of jacket potatoes and beans to go with the ham is cheap, as are meals like Shepherd's Pie, Spaghetti Carbonara, various stews etc.

I do think you should have brought lunch for you DS though, in case the food wasn't suitable.

Like most others, I would rather have some leftovers than worry my guests were still hungry.

Half a small quiche, salad, plus 1/4 baguette with ham and cheese sounds like enough to me!

We didnt have guests over, but our dinner last night (Sunday!!) was warm quiche, salad and garlic bread!

If people were coming over @d cook more than that to make an effort, but I can imagine DH buying that if he was sorting it! Bet the DH bought it.

Quantity sounds fine though

Re my tragic passive aggressiveness
Words and Trillian, of course you are right. If we really had been good friends, I would have been able to say something.

I had hoped we were good friends, that's why I was prepared to sit in a car for two hours at 8 months pregnant. But to be put in a situation like that, and to not feel comfortable challenging her, made me realise we weren't good friends. I never called her again, and she didn't call me.

But all you pious size 8s who say 'it isn't the food, its the company' I say what absolute bollocks.

If you INVITE SOMEONE FOR A MEAL it is about the food.

If you are not a regualar hostess, or not sure what your guests would like why not ask them?

If you are such a disorganised self absorbed twat that you just 'forget' your guests then say sorry I forgot, will just nip to the shops.

If you resent cooking/providing for guests then DON'T INVITE THEM FOR FOOD.

Hey, aggression is fun! I will henceforth ditch the passive elements of my aggressive personality and in future if any one DARES serve me up such a crappy meal after I have given up two hours of my life to sit in traffic, they will get it both barrels.

God, this is better (and cheaper) than therapy.

Much better Spero !

Huzzah !

Fuck you bitch!!

(I'm on FIRE!)

I think you should go to a restaurant instead Spero - they might have forgotten, but it's really not necessary to think someone is therefore a "self absorbed twat" ! Bloody hell, I'm glad my friends come for company as well as food.

I think the quantity is stingy, but the actual food fine. But then, I don't really cook and certainly not roasts, so some type of quiche, salad and nice bread, plus olives, ham and so on, would be what I would serve if I had guests. Now I know they are all slagging me off behind my back! (luckily I only invite over good friends who do not have high expectations of getting a delicious roast)

I would have been bloody delighted to go to a restaurant. Her husband didn't want to go out as 'it was cold'.

I do not apologise for calling anyone who 'forgets' their guests a self absorbed twat. How difficult is it to have a calendar up on your kitchen wall and scrawl upon it??

I honestly don't understand how anyone can 'forget' they have invited friends round for lunch and it would piss me off unless they had some compelling personal difficulties which meant it geuinely got pushed out of their minds.

I am sure your friends love your company, but wouldn't you be embarrassed/upset if you thought your friends had left your house hungry and confused???

Oh I would be, of course, but then, if they were the type to think I'm a self absorbed twat for forgetting (which is, by nature, not an act done on purpose), I wouldn't be friends with them in the first place.

There is nothing worse than going to someone's house for lunch and there not being enough food to go round. Has happened to me on a couple of occasions and i think it makes the host look mean. There have also been a couple of times when i have gone to someone's house and been freezing cold. I always like to make sure people are comfortable and well fed whne they come to me so this annoys me. The meal you describe sounds pathetic.

As someone with a dairy and yeast intolerance all I would have been able to eat was ham and salad from that offering.

I may be wrong about this but if OP's still breast feeding does that not mean she also has to avoid dairy if DS has a dairy intolerance - that would mean she wouldn't have been able to eat the quiche or cheese, so would have been left with ham, salad, 1/4 turkey burger and some bread - not an adequate lunch IMO!

MisSal - would you really forget friends were coming when you had invited them six weeks ago and you knew they were driving over 100 miles?? Would you really??

If you would, then yup, I think there are quite a lot of people who wouldn't be that keen on staying mates with you.

'forgetting' may not be purposeful but it can be bloody careless. I can't see what the excuse is what with calendars, diaries, smart phones etc, etc.

Well, spero, no, I would hope that I won't, but even so - I am not under the deluded impression that I am perfect, and I extend the same courtesy to my friends. Everyone makes mistakes. Hey ho.

YABU - if you expect a roast ,as not all do this every week.
YANBU- if you expected a meal . I may not do a roast ,but no visitor here would ever go away hungry. In fact, we usually end up eating leftovers for days.

Of course MisS, if I insisted on 100% perfection from everyone I meet, I would have NO friends, as well as being a raging hypocrite.

But surely, the base line of friendship, is that you respect and care for your friends and IF you forgot they were coming and didn't have enough food, you would apologise, nip to the shops and/or take everyone down to the pub for lunch??

SOem time ago a longstanding friend of mine was working abroad but was home for Christmas and staying with her parents. Her parents live sort of en-route home from my parents so we arranged to go for dinner on our way home from our Christmas celebrations down south.

As I had known this family for over ten years I did not think I needed to remind them that I am veggie and allergic to coffee.

We had turkey curry and tiramisu!

bloody hell. Were they trying to tell you something?

If so, that is a level of passive aggresiveness to which I can only DREAM.

What did you do or say to them??

I'm a size 8 and hate undercatering as much as anyone

You have to have food left at the end or you've not made enough for guests, surely? Or at least you should be saying "Go on, someone have the last slice of cake" and someone groans and gives in!

We once had a roast dinner at a friend's house and they had lovely roast beef, but served with two roast potatoes each - and they'd made exactly one mini Yorkshire each (leaving empty holes in the tray and everything...most bizarre). I was starving afterwards.

badgermonkey, I have also been there with the roast pototoes, truly weird.

I was once very mean with the pototoes, but in my defence, it was my first go at a roast dinner for student friends, I was very embarrassed and now always do as many potatoes as can be crammed into a roasting tray.

I always over cater when we have guests. I like them to go away full and happy.

I think I would be very full and happy if I had lunch at Bella's!

Glad youre not my mate :)

Some people are just not considerate when catering, but YABU to not say at the time if you were not happy and if YOU choose to cook a roast, thats your choice, they dont have to do the same.

YANBU to think that they didn't provide enough food.

YABU to expect a roast.

The roast for lunch thing confuses me. If I invite people for lunch, I'd be serving it about 1pm or so.
I certainly wouldn't be making a roast at that time,yet I know it's common,certainly on here, to talk of Sunday lunch,meaning what I'd call a roast dinner.

When was the food served?

It sounds ok to me, but then so does the soup and bread lunch that so offended someone else. We often have soup with bread or toast for lunch, yes even on Sundays!

I would actually have been quite relieved to get a nice light salad lunch instead of a 'Sunday roast', always dread going to the in-laws on Sundays because I know it's going to be a big stodgy ordeal to be endured. I don't eat meat and really dislike the taste and oiliness of roasted potatoes or vegetables.

2 hours drive each way seems a long, long way to go just for lunch though, can't imagine doing that regularly as a day trip, especially with a small child!

I think that even beats my Aunts catering. Christmas day and all the potatoes she cooked was one small jacket potato each, I know I'm fussy, but always said as long as there is enough potatoes/bread/pasta to fill me up fine. I went home and cooked myself a meal. Things haven't changed much in 20 years, they have plenty of money, not size 8, etc. It's just crap.
YANBU.