to let it bother me so much when couples say "we're pregnant"?

[Schnitzel]

I know this is really petty, but it REALLY gets on my goat. Where did this "we're pregnant" business come from?! I'm probably just being a really miserable git.

It still doesn't mean that the man is also pregnant.

It is simply biologically inaccurate, not to mention unspeakably twee, to use that expression when there are others which will suffice and simultaneously not make the man sound like a controlling wanker.

pregnancy is a medical condition.

we do don't have appedicitis. we don't have breast cancer.
we are not pregnant.

We are expecting a baby, but we are not pregnant.

Awwww...it's so sweet..

Bleurgh.

"we do don't have appedicitis. we don't have breast cancer.
we are not pregnant. "

This is starting to sound all "I am Jacks Cornea" and fight-clubby.
IS it ok for couples to say "we are in fight club"?
Presuming they are of course in fight club? Or is that bad as well cause they're really not meant to talk about it, it's kind of a rule.

FIrst rule of Fight club, don't talk about fight club...

Appendicitis and breast cancer are conditions that are about one person (obviously they affect others around you but you'd get them if you had no family or friends or you were from a big family or were the most popular person ever) whereas pregnancy is a medical condition that's not just about one person, it's about those two people. It's as much his DNA in there as it is hers, it's not just her baby that she's pregnant with.

Maybe some men are controlling but not all of them. Like I said I have an amazing, supportive partner, not at all controlling (he wouldn't get a look in ) and if wanted to say "we're pregnant" I'd think he'd earned the right, he goes through it every bit as much as I do. He might not have to stick injections in his own backside but he's there for me and is affected by it all as much as I am.

Sometimes I think people have it too easy when you see the things they have to complain about. Would you be owning your pregnancy if you really knew what a difficult pregnancy was (and I don't mean morning sickness and stretch marks, I do anything to have those as my complications)

I do object to 'we're pregnant', however I object a lot more to ' we don't believe in pain relief, we are going to have a natural birth'...

In my old copy of What to expect it tells prospective fathers they should give up drinking in solidarity with the mother, and if offered a drink should refuse with the phrase

"No thanks, we're having a baby"

pmsl at that. DH didn't though, he thought in my mad expectant state I might actually expect him to do this.

"It's hardly misandrist to refuse to endorse the misrepresentation of biological reality."

Good way of putting it :)

confudled "it's not just her baby that she's pregnant with."

As you said - she is pregnant, with their baby, which they are expecting.

We are not denying the father a role or suggesting that he is not important, just clarifying that he is not pregnant. Because he is not.

Thanks for agreeing with me confuddled!

Although actually now that I AM thinking about it, yes 'we are having a baby' does sound better, but honestly I do not think that hard before saying most things. I did use 'we are pregnant' though. Dh hated the phrase.

I agree with Serendippy about ' we are not having pain relief' though

'we are not having pain relief'

hahah.

when people say things like this, ask the woman if she is going to punch him with every contraction. to share the experience.

dh said how very well i had done, how proud he was of me for the lovely little baby i made for us...that's a nice way to share. supporting, not taking credit.

Husband: we are not having pain relief

Wife: WE? YOU might need some when I punch you in the face for trying to tell the midwife what I want.

Unless the couple also go around saying "we are ovulating" and "we are menstruating" I can't see how they could justify saying "we are pregnant"!

It's utterly cringeworthy and, more to the point, untrue.

Did anyone see the episode of Frasier where Daphne was pregnant and Niles - in a misguided one upmanship with another couple who were expecting and very new age about it all - started off saying "we're pregnant" and ended up suffering sympathy sore nipples, back pains, insomnia etc, thoroughly pissing off his pregnant wife by the end of it? Have to admit, I always think of this episode whenever a man says "we're pregnant"

When I was pregnant I thought I was the most amazing godessy queen of all creation, and that women should get automatic special dispensation from all aspects of mundane life (e.g shopping and cooking)in order to fully appreciate the wondrous thing MY body was capable of doing.(I loved being pregnant, can you tell?)
I would have been well pissed off if I had had to share the glory!

It makes me think of couples like these two at 08:50

I find it annoying, obviously it's great for fathers/partners to be involved, and it's good to acknowledge that both are going to be parents and hopefully equally important in their child's life. But only one person is actually literally pregnant. I get that the sentiment behind it is not necessarily bad, but still think it's a silly thing to say.

BTW I would say the same if it was a pregnant woman and her female partner - unless both really were pregnant at the same time, which would seem like a very bad idea to me .

YANBU! I am pregnant, my husband is not. I feel like shit and will be having my fanny restitched, he will be doing nothing much, really. But then again, I was bemused by my MIL's charity group giving her a round of applause for becoming a grandmother. Congratulations, fine, but applause? Don't remeber her being in the delivery room with me!

We are not pregnant.

I am pregnant with our baby.

We are expecting a baby.

But in no way, shape or form is DH pregnant. It's all me, me, me.

He can do it for me if he wants [hopeful]

I hate it too - sounds very nerdy and twee.

I also hate - with the exception of when its a couple who have had difficulty conceiving - been to hell and back - stuck it out for years - sold their house to pay for treatment etc etc - ' Oh - Well done you !'

Aaaargh - my DH says this and I hate it! I cringe whenever he says it and have to point out that he is not suffering from heartburn, constipation, piles, SPD, constant weeing and all the other delights of pregnancy. Would be marvellous if he could share some of the symptoms! I even caught him telling his mother that "WE are having a very difficult pregnancy". No you're not - I AM!!

I'm glad the majority of you agree with my sentiments!

Each to their own. However, I personally just find it cringeworthy and it is biologically incorrect to say "we are pregnant". A woman gets pregnant. Not a man.

The Sun's comedy parenting agony aunt mentioned 'we are pregnant' a while ago. Very funny:

Dear Natasha,

My husband and I are expecting our first child together in 7 months. Do you have any tips for keeping our sex life healthy now that we are pregnant? Glowing mum-to-be

Ok, lets get this straight. 'We' are not pregnant. 'You' are pregnant.

There is nothing more annoying than politically correct couples who say 'we are pregnant'.

The only couple allowed to say 'we are pregnant' are the Queen and Prince Phillip. But I don't think they'll be using that phrase anytime soon. I hope. Bleurgggh.

It's a phrase used by a lot of right-on-groovy-parents-to-be and it's something I've never understood. 'You' are the one carrying a baby for 9 months.

'You' are the one who will get awful backache and feel so tired that you won't be able to string a simple sentence together.

'You' are the one whose body will be stretched and deformed beyond belief. 'You' are the one who will do a little wee each time you laugh.

'You' are the one whose brain will slowly wither away throughout your pregnancy living you with a serious case of 'mumnesia'.

'You' are the one who will experience pain like you've never experienced before. 'You' are the one who will produce a child from your poor knackered body. NOT your husband. Ok.

Rant over. Enjoy your pregnancy and try to have it off on a regular basis.

here is the column: www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/parenting/becauseisaidso/2763384/Novelty-baby-grows-a-no-noParent-agony-auntNatasha-DesboroughParent-problems.html

I'm a big fan. But NOT of 'we are pregnant'!