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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to think my mum shouldn't bollock me for running out of loo paper.

95 replies

VivaLeBeaver · 27/11/2010 15:21

We ran out of loo paper the other morning, not a problem I thought. I stopped at the shop on the way to work and brought it home with me. Noone was at home all day so nobody should have had a problem with this.

My mum just rang up screeching that she was near my house the other day and needed a crap so let herself into my house, had a crap and then had no loo paper. She's proper furious and just gave me a lecture on how I should always have a cupboard full of spare loo rolls and what a slattern I am for running out and I should be more organised. My house, my business. I politely pointed out it wasn't a problem for me and now she's in a right huff.

I can't believe she came round and had a crap in my loo. She's told me off for the bath been mucky as well. (cat was playing in the bath and left muddy paw prints).

At least now I know who left DD's bedroom door open and allowed the dog to get in there and shit on the rug sleep on her bed all day.

OP posts:
zipzap · 27/11/2010 21:54

I have an extra pack of 4 double length loo rolls that I keep hidden in a different place from the normal spares so that if the normal supply runs out I am able to produce a spare. Grin

however, I don't let on where they are because I don't want them to considered part of the normal stock IYSWIM - otherwise they would be used, I wouldn't be told and then get caught short.

You should keep an extra roll or two hidden away so that should this scenario ever happen again you would be able to tell your mother that you did have loo roll, she was just looking in the wrong place.

hope she changed her clothes before she came and had dinner at yours!

and have you seen those little tiny rolls of andrex that you can get without a roll in, packaged up ready to go to a festival or have in your handbag - definitely one to get as her christmas present Grin

tallwivglasses · 27/11/2010 22:16

Or give her an Andrex 12-pack all prettily wrapped.

(Thanks for the tip, zip. I will start hiding bogroll in obscure places from now on. Men with man-poos live in my house)

tallwivglasses · 27/11/2010 22:22

Oh, and this should be in Classics. Please do a blog Viva
(ha, first I typed 'bog')

Sorry! Blush

femalevictormeldrew · 27/11/2010 22:55

This is something similar to what happened to me with my MIL although she didn't get to actually crap. My MIL swiped a spare key twice from my husbands "key box" and put it on her keys despite him taking them back from her already.

So one day she says to me "I was fairly f*cking you out of it the other day in my mind for taking that key. I got the diahorrea in town and if {my husband} had left the key on my car keys I could have let myself into your house".

Yeah. I really want her to come into my house, with my stolen key, and leave a load in MY toilet, and me not even THERE.

NotAnotherNewNappy · 27/11/2010 22:56

Couldn't she improvise? We're always running out of loo roll in this house, due to my slatternly ways forgetful nature. My usual stand ins, in order of preference, are:

kitchen roll
baby wipes
cotton wool balls
And, erm, the cardboard tube that once held the loo roll Blush

Both my mum and nan get quite huffy and give me a big lecture when I ask to 'borrow' a roll as we've run out. I never thought it was because they were afraid there'd be none there when they popped round for a crap while I was out though!! Grin

blueshoes · 27/11/2010 23:22

Notanother, any of those things might block up the toilet.

OP's house sounds rather disorganised and untidy to me, even if her mother was out of order.

onmyfeet · 28/11/2010 00:36

She could have had a bum bath, I often stuck my kids in a few inches to wash off their bums. Her own fault for having no imagination. Grin

onmyfeet · 28/11/2010 00:40

Post this in the bathroom.
"Now it really is true that the trees do care-

And if she in the stall ever runs out of ply

Think of the plants and don't spare her a square

Then tell her you're saving the Earth, that's why"

Or this one
Toilet Paper
by Lionel E. Deimel

Roll of toilet paper

While sitting on the toilet,

Mulling over some great issue,

I suddenly became aware

Of needing toilet tissue.

The roll was nearly empty

In its holder on the wall;

No spares were in the cabinet

Or closet in the hall.

And, later, when I chanced to use

The powder room downstairs,

The want of paper, yet again,

Would catch me unawares.

I had to go to market

To replenish my supply

Of aloe-laced and comfort-quilted

Rolls of double-ply.

I remembered I was out of eggs

And instant oatmeal, too;

I only had one tea bag,

And I needed more shampoo.

I thought of writing out a list

For checking at the store,

But listing so few things to buy

Seemed such a needless chore.

I soon was walking through the aisles

With shampoo in my cart,

I picked up eggs and rice?on sale?

And cherries for a tart.

Cans of cat food were on special,

So I purchased quite a few;

I bought my tea and oatmeal

And some beef chunks for a stew.

I had five bags of groceries

When, finally, I returned

And flopped down on my easy chair

For rest I thought I?d earned.

But, later, in the bathroom,

I would have the revelation

That I?d bought no toilet tissue

For my current situation.

MadamDeathstare · 28/11/2010 01:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

onmyfeet · 28/11/2010 01:21

Who are you asking MDS? If me, (last post before yours) No.

MadamDeathstare · 28/11/2010 04:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diddl · 28/11/2010 07:31

OP-did you solve the mystery of the poo on the rug?

onmyfeet · 28/11/2010 08:34

MDS,Thank-you, but to google,as I didn't write it myself.

VivaLeBeaver · 28/11/2010 10:28

The poo on the rug was the dog's - smelt like dog poo so I can't blame my mum for that one.

In my defence the house isn't normally so disorganised or untidy but DH has gone away with work for 5 weeks. I'm working full time, finishing my dissertation for uni (has to be in in 3 weeks) and have a small child. On my own! I probably am sinking a bit.

Mum doesn't help, just comes round and is rude. Well she is having dd one night a week as I don't finish work till really late one night. She pulled a face at pasta for dinner last night (I cooked), apparantly she's not keen on pasta.

OP posts:
plupervert · 28/11/2010 10:44

Ah, the dynamic is becoming clearer. She feels entitled to a comfortable crap in your house, emphasis on comfort. The sniffiness about the meal you provided (you provided) is an echo of her loo ny demands about loopaper!

blueshoes · 28/11/2010 10:55

OP, you are allowed to let standards slip. Those are heavy demands on you.

Your mother sounds like a nightmare.

LittleMissHissyFit · 28/11/2010 11:07

Viva, when you have got your life back under control again, please promise us the shireking harpies kind gentlewomen of MN something?

That you will stand up to her, and tell her that coming into someone's home just to have a Poo is not ON! It's rude, it's disrespectful and it's Ew.. Grin

To THEN scream at you for anything is totally unacceptable.

As for the pasta and pulling faces, tell her that perhaps the next time she lets herself into YOUR home without YOUR knowledge, that she could cook for YOU.

TELL her about the dog being let out and pooing on your DD bed. Tell her that her wandering through your house without your knowledge is intrusive.

Let us help you stand up to her. You can, and must do it. Ok so we all had a laugh at her sheer cheek (pardon the pun) but it's a more serious issue than that.

LittleMissHissyFit · 28/11/2010 11:08

shrieking

emptyshell · 28/11/2010 11:08

I thought I had it bad with half my family using us as a cheaper stop-off on the M1 instead of the services... at least they come for coffee - not a quick poo and run!

AllGoodNamesGone · 28/11/2010 14:15

I am sure if my mum were caught out near my house and had a key, she would see my toilet as fair game (unlikely as she lives 120 miles away!) and I wouldn't mind her doing so.

The thing is though, when she rang to tell me about the lack of loo roll, we would both end laughing till we cried and she wouldn't dream of being annoyed with me about it.

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