to think my mum shouldn't bollock me for running out of loo paper.

[VivaLeBeaver]

We ran out of loo paper the other morning, not a problem I thought. I stopped at the shop on the way to work and brought it home with me. Noone was at home all day so nobody should have had a problem with this.

My mum just rang up screeching that she was near my house the other day and needed a crap so let herself into my house, had a crap and then had no loo paper. She's proper furious and just gave me a lecture on how I should always have a cupboard full of spare loo rolls and what a slattern I am for running out and I should be more organised. My house, my business. I politely pointed out it wasn't a problem for me and now she's in a right huff.

I can't believe she came round and had a crap in my loo. She's told me off for the bath been mucky as well. (cat was playing in the bath and left muddy paw prints).

At least now I know who left DD's bedroom door open and allowed the dog to get in there and shit on the rug sleep on her bed all day.

No baby wipes? They are our emergency fall-back.

She says she couldn't find the toilet wipes as my bathroom is such a mess. It isn't there is a carrier bag with some books in on the floor and a pair of jeans. The wipes were on the side of the bath but a different brand from normal so I bet they didn't register.

I can't take her keys off her as she's my emergency back up childcare if I get stuck at work.

She's coming round for dinner, I've started the wine in preperation. I'm going to hear all about it all night, probably with wincing from the sore bum for good measure.

Wrap her up some immodium and a packet of Kandoo for christmas :o

And a bit of sudocrem for that sore bum of hers!

Oh I love this thread, I'm sniggering.
I can't personally see the day I ever run out of loo roll but it totally serves your mother right!!

I'd be tempted to poo in her dinner.

imagine coming home to a house you think has been empty all day to find it stinks of poo!!

I can't believe the cheek of her a) to use your house as a public loo and b) to moan about lack of loo roll

oh and for the record i have 18 loo rolls in the house as part of my apocalypse plan

I think you are all being unreasonable. I suffer from IBS and when I need the loo it won't wait. I bet the OP's mum must have been pretty desperate to have to nip in to her daughter's house like that.

However, I do think the rant was a little unjustified. Because of my situation I make it my job to ensure that we never run out of loo roll.

So let me get this straight:

She went to the loo, then wandered into your bedroom and kitchen, knickers at knee-height, searching through your things for something to wipe her arse on?

And she's telling you off?

Show her the thread. Please, show her the thread.

yanbu at all. Can't beleve your mother.

excellent thread - totally laughed out loud in an empty room. ds think am mad!!!

your mother is a cheeky bitch and this serves her right. how DARE she take an unsanctioned shit..... and then blame you for it going wrong... does she try and cut your balls off in any other ways?

Pmsl

Although no idea why I'm laughing. Sounds like something my mom would do.

Bunbaker, I suffer from IBS too but I'd be grateful for the available loo and would never think about blaming the op for a lack of bog roll.

Oh and FYI bunbaker I have the most chronic IBS and arse related misdemeanors are my speciality. It's a favourite subject of discussion amongst rl friends, as we all hit thirty and got poorly guts.... and I am known for arriving unannounced for a quick turd....

PMSL this has reminded me of a fact from QI a while ago - something about the best thing to wipe your arse on being...

Wait for it...

A swan.

I can't believe she weighed up her options and decided it was more pertinent to bollock you for being a slattern, instead of keeping hidden the fact she used your place as a crap receptacle and made her way home with an unclean arse.

YANBU.

Do you not have a bidet?

If I was to pick just one household thing to always be 100% sure I had spare supplies of ...

Toilet roll would be that thing.

Did you run out of kitchen roll too ?:o

This is hilarious, my Mum is exactly the same and there's no fighting it.

You will have to apologise to her for her bad behaviour.

Say, "sorry for being a slattern and not realising you might want a shit".

roflmfao

i have been known to pop into my parents when ive been near them and been caught short

thanks gawd they had loo roll

fwiw, i have plenty of spare rolls - my friends sounds the same as you and often runs out

once i caught dh friend coming down out stairs with one of our rolls, coz he had run out at his place and knew we had spares

ps - hope mum didnt leave skid marks (as often dh friends do)

I also have IBS, and would never rant at anyone else for their lack of loo roll, particularly when my bad IBS erm offerings probably would have done nothing for the fragrance of their home.

Hilarious. I would make a lot of notes about your mother and write a lucrative memoir about her toilet habits. That will give her something to wipe her arse on!

FWIW I too never leave the house without a travel pack of kleenex and antiseptic gel - the first thing you learn when travelling through latin america UK railway network!

McDonalds Public Toilet next time, tell her.

The evening is going badly. I'm pissed already.

Mum has bollocked my dd for her room being untidy. She's sniffed at the living room and said "well this looks tidier than the other day". Ha, I've tidied and hoovered and thats pissed her off. Then she looked gleeful when dd pulled hte old jigsaw board out from under the sofa and brought a load of detrius including bits of pasta out with it. Oh, and there was a damp patch on the carpet. "What's that" she asked. "dd spilt some water" I said. "I didn't" said dd, "I've been sick and mum hasn't cleaned it up".

FFS.

Apparantly she has been sick (slightly, its not even lumpy). Mum is giving me the eye.

Anyway I'm on the computer trying to find out how to thicken up choc sauce quick. My cake icing is still runny. Any ideas? Shall I just chuck it at my mum?