the horrible woman in this week's grazia who doesnt want kids because...

[superv1xen]

...she is scared of getting fat and ruining her figure and getting a -i can barely type these words- "bucket vagina"

aibu to think she is a silly shallow bitch and be really angry with her for peddling her horrible opinions in public? its up to the individual whether they want kids or not but what a nasty, shallow reason to not want them :( and how insulting to mothers reading that. she is a 35 year old woman who seemed reasonably intelligent, not some silly WAG-type 20 year old that one would maybe expect to hear this kind of shit from.

does she not realise that she won't have her perfect body forever anyway, gravity catches up in the end regardless of whether she has kids or not. and i would rather have an "imperfect" body and my lovely kids any day. did anyone else read it? it made my blood boil.

I'm with tingletangle and ComeOnIn.

After all, if everyone had kids we'd be overpopulated and crippled by the debt incurred by supporting their education and healthcare... Oh yes, we already are!

The childfree are actually very undervalued in our society. You could argue that they'll be looked after in their old age by our children, but right now they are probably covering our maternity leaves at work, paying for our kids shoes and coughing up more than most parents in tax. So even if you don't agree with her views, she's actually doing the same as you, contributing to society.

It takes all sorts, don't be so judgemental.

adrenalinejunkie ... i do bellydancing (good for internal muscles).
weight training , aerobics and, use cycle and step machines every day.
Just started shred dvd too.
No magic formula , just lots of hard work tbh.

Im fit , but the shred thing nearly killed me at first ....talk about "feeling the burn".

Theres lots of little things that help with flat stomach , sitting on a ball instead of chair, toning trainers, actively making an effort to hold your tummy in (until it happens by itself).
I wore a lot of spax /tummy holding underwear when i wasnt as toned , i swear they help shrink the skin back to normal.

Drink loads of water will help stop bloating , dont know why , but it does.

thanks droves , thats really good advice , before ds i always held in my tummy because i was concious of it not being as flat as i would have liked and my midwife said i had really good muscles so im going to start doing it again,
i have heard about the shred dvd have fancied trying it.
i have some spanx left over from my wedding i will give it a try
feeling very motivated

I don't admire her "honesty". I don't think she is making a case against a culture where Women Ought To Be Mothers, merely making a case for one where Women Ought to Be Young, Thin and Tight-of-Vagina.

It's essentially misogynistic to view childbirth as devaluing you because it changes your body from the (anti-feminist) cultural ideal.

I don't think she's shallow, or a bitch. I don't care what her choice is - she's 100% entitled to choose not to have children. However to talk about the female body in such hateful terms is horrible. I will admit I do it in terms of myself sometimes but I fully recognise it is unreasonable and hateful to myself to do so and that it reflects misogyny in our culture. It's not laudable to hold it up as a reason for your lifestyle choices: it's not "refreshing" or "honest", it implies self-delusion and brainwashing to me..

agree with you working ...again, someone else says what i wanted to say, except way more articulately :)

joining this rather late but absolutely staggered at the example of Julia Roberts as someone whose figure has suffered after having kids. Just saw a pic of her in a bikini and crikey she looks great as far as I can tell. FWIW though agree with working9while5...

JR HAD TWINS !

Well, having babies did ruin my tummy. OK after DS1 but not bikini material ever again after DS2. I would have liked to know this was likely to have happened in advance. It does make me feel pissed off that my DH has perfect tummy with lovely abs and I have to put up with a wrinkly drapey bit even though I am slim and fit.

If I'd been offered the choice of nice tum no babies or two babies wrinkly tum I'd have gone for the babies but I can understand someone who would make the other choice. Fortunatley I think nether regions withstood it better.

I felt slightly sorry for her when I read this last week. She has taken one idiots throwaway comment from 20 years ago and beat herself over the head with it ever since.

It's significant I think that he called her 'mumsy' rather than chubby/fat etc. She has taken this to mean that being a mum is the polar opposite of being sexy/desirable/cool, when obviously we are all of those things

If she genuinely doesn't care about having kids then fine, it's her choice. But if deep down she would like them but is too scared of the way that her body changes would make her feel about herself then I would defintely recommend some therapy. She has this core belief that 'Unless I am thin/young/beautiful I am worthless' and that is definitely something we could work on and restructure in therapy.

So YABU that she is horrible and a bitch. But I can see why her comments could be seen offensive.