the horrible woman in this week's grazia who doesnt want kids because...

[superv1xen]

...she is scared of getting fat and ruining her figure and getting a -i can barely type these words- "bucket vagina"

aibu to think she is a silly shallow bitch and be really angry with her for peddling her horrible opinions in public? its up to the individual whether they want kids or not but what a nasty, shallow reason to not want them :( and how insulting to mothers reading that. she is a 35 year old woman who seemed reasonably intelligent, not some silly WAG-type 20 year old that one would maybe expect to hear this kind of shit from.

does she not realise that she won't have her perfect body forever anyway, gravity catches up in the end regardless of whether she has kids or not. and i would rather have an "imperfect" body and my lovely kids any day. did anyone else read it? it made my blood boil.

NSF

no nancy my kids were both planned sections.... but i hear thats a myth anyway that giving birth makes it, erm, looser down there.

i had concerns too wintersnow thats :( that your friend said that to you. anyway you don't have to lose your figure when you have kids as long as you exercise afterwards and look after yourself. and some mums just snap back into shape anyway.

Erm.... Isn't shallow and irrelevant what you'd expect if you buy grazia?

I also admire her honesty. Better to know your limitations and NOT bring a child into the world if your priorities lie elsewhere. Far too Many people go ahead and have loads of kids that they aren't emotionally prepared for

There are very very few people whose body's don't end up a lot worse after having kids.

Celebs have surgery, let's not forget.

superv1xen she wasn't a friend for much longer!
I think it's natural to be concerned about your changing body, lifestyle, relationships etc and some people just don't prioritise having children above these things & it's a good thing they don't have children if they feel that way I would say

Nancy66 I honestly don't know many people who's bodies are much worse after having children, most are pretty much the same except for a few stretch marks and a softer tummy.

and their boobs aren't as pert, but thats about it

Yes its shallow but i can't say I didn't worry about effect pregnancy and childbirth would have on me (not just the looks side of thing but had few friends who had major issues that took rehab to sort). But think tingletangle right that at least she thinks- find it more depressing those who have kids and are not emotionally prepared.

YABU

Everwhere we are told that we should be beautiful etc. especially by magazines like Grazia. These things are annoying as they don't often have counter articles.

I was concerned about all these things as most people are. So it's not unexpected that someone will take it to the extreme of being enough of a reason not to. Anyway she's probably just not in a position to have children and IME people come up with all kinds of reasons to explain to people when they ask about kids and the the future for the umpteeenth time.

A few stretch marks - I wish I only had a few stretch marks, I also have a pouch of loose skin that wont go anywhere my boobs now look partially deflated and I am only 24

her loss really.I read the article and I think she's silly to get a complex because someone called her ''mumsy'' once in America. In her view a size 14 is mumsy. That's me. She has body dismorphia but hey; she's the one missing out.

She's still going to get older and lose her shape whether she has kids or not.

But to be honest I couldn't give a shit about someone NOT wanting kids for the 'wrong' reasons. It's more worrying to think of people who do have them without thinking it through or being prepared/mature enough.

I was a mumsy size 14 before kids btw. Went up to a 16 for 2 weeks after giving birth and went back to size 14. I love food too much and hate excersise. Nothing to do with being a mum.

I did find that my body changed shape and I was a bit upset but soon adjusted.

Well it's her body, and her choice. it's obviously not the choice for everyone, but i'm not going to start judging someone for what is or is not a "good enough" reason to want or not want kids.

her perogative really...

bearcrumble I agree 100% with what you wrote here btw:

I couldn't give a shit about someone NOT wanting kids for the 'wrong' reasons. It's more worrying to think of people who do have them without thinking it through or being prepared/mature enough

THAT is the important matter really :)

wintersnow - wobbly belly, stretch marks and saggy tits would qualify as a 'worse' body in my book!

Why is she 'horrible'? Why a 'bitch'? She doesn't want to have children, no-one says you have to. I admire her honesty.

I approve. She sounds like a classic example of the distinction between being a selfish shallow person who ought not to have children, and making a very sensible and utilitarian decision not to gave them. Silly woman, making a sensible choice. I had a colleague who claimed she couldn't face having children (or pets) because of the mess they'd make of her immaculate home. Assuming it was true, it's much better to know that about yourself, and act accordingly, than to drift into having an unwanted child.

As said before, YABVU for reading such trash.
However, the woman in question is honest and in the long run better for the 'Big Society' than the 15 year olds who proceed to have a baby with every male who has a pulse and looks their way

Nancy66 I guess it happens to different degrees with everyone. I was scared because my mum had terrible stretch marks, inches thick and covering her tummy, she also ballooned to a size 22 and even when she lost the weight had a lot of excess skin. I thought this would happen to me too but I got a few tiny stretch marks, boobs dropped a little bit and tummy is pretty much the same but softer, basically I'm happy, it hasn't made a massive difference

if she doesnt want kids fair enough.shes not insulted mothers at all.you really are over stating this.big time.do pipe down on the hyperbole-silly shallow bitch is ott

you might not regard her reasons as adequate but id rather women do consider whether or not they do want kids,rather than get up duff without thinking about it

if that bibble babble boils your blood you don't have a great deal else going on

just because women can have babies doesnt mean they should

I think what's most upset you OP is her suggestion that women who've had babies have fat, ruined bodies and bucket vagina's, right? I can see why this is would make you angry. A new young guy at DH's work had the nerve to try and crack a joke about his wife (me) having a bucket fanny as I'd had 2 children, needless to say he didn't see the funny side...

Good luck to her. She's as entitled to express her opinions as any of us and she's equally as entitled to make lifestyle choices on whatever grounds she likes.

I too admire her honesty and would imagine that there are a fair few women out there who feel similarly but who are afraid to say it.