AIBU to really dislike the majority of weddings?

[marantha]

Although I will freely admit to thinking marriage is important from a legal point of view, I do not think that being married bears any relation to how much the couple love each other. I base this upon the fact that many couples I know who cohabit are devoted to one another and many couples I know who are married despise each other.

So I do not see why there is such a big deal and romantic nonsense made out of the act of getting married.
Truth be told, it annoys the s* out of me when people get caught up in the act of planning their wedding and make it into a major affair that costs their average salary.
This may have been acceptable in the past when getting married genuinely was a life-changing occasion (but even then there seemed to be less fuss) but in an age where couples cohabit and even have children before getting wed it is a farce when such a big deal is made out of it.
I get sick of the way that these monsters brides-to-be smugly talk of 'tradition' as regards their wedding when their behaviour in the past has been er, very UNtraditional.
Not that I give a monkey's that they've slept with an entire rugby team, but it is galling when they become all high and mighty about what it 'right' and 'traditional' about their wedding.
I also despise the way that the bride becomes totally absorbed in her 'big day' - there does not seem to be any realisation on her part that -apart from her and her groom and close family and friends- nobody gives a toss.
Everyone around her has to go along with the nonsense. And if a person is foolish enough to accept an invite, all sorts of demands will be placed on the guest and all sorts of rude behaviour will follow- sending the wedding list out with the invitation, for example
AIBU?

LordRowdyDuck I am not talking about a group of people's differing opinions about cohabitation vs marriage- yes, I do understand that some may view marriage as important and others see cohabitation as an equally valid lifestyle choice- I am talking about an INDIVIDUAL'S view of it.

I do not understand how a person can go around telling people that they 'don't need to be married' ( in a I must admit very smug way. Oh no THEY don't need such bourgeois institutions doncha know?)and then the bloke pops the question and suddenly the woman turns into a bridezilla and her wedding becomes the most important thing in the world.

Now if getting wed is and has always been important to the woman, fine. No problem at all.
Or, alternatively, they choose to happily cohabit all their lives that is also fine.

But for a person to pretend that cohabitation is totally valid for them and marriage is unimportant and then turn into a wedding monster when a proposal comes along is irritating.

If cohabitation is totally and truly valid for the couple, it makes no sense why they'd spend a huge amount of money getting married, unless, of course, it is to show off (which is what these huge weddings are really about).

I agree with some of what the OP says but I would suggest you just politely decline any invitations you receive and find somethings else to get so cross about. We got married with two people present and that was that. We wanted to get married so we did but to be honest, what anyone else chooses to do in that respect doesn't concern me at all. I don't know why people get so het up about weddings, either go or don't.

YANBU to dislike it.

YABU to expect everyone to agree with you.

When we got married, having lived together, we said no gift list. That just naffed people off because they wanted to kindly bring a gift but not duplicate when we already had household stuff.

Personally I don't like requests for money at all. When a friend did that we gave something closely related to the planned big spend and that went down better than expected. (I think because most people like to unwrap something hopefully bought with them & their day in mind.)