to be get annoyed at being called Mrs..?

[bubbles22]

I have always kept my own name and so use Ms, although I am married.

This means I am Ms X, DH is Mr Y and my boys surname is Y too.

It always causes confusion and I am for ever being called Mrs X. This makes me sound like I am desperate to cling to a previous married name!

What do other ms's do when you get called Mrs? Do you ignore or correct? It sounds pedantic yet it feels really annoying. If I wanted to be a Mrs I would have become a Mrs Y.

AIBU to pick people up on it?

oncemai.....why would you call yourself "sexist" when women died to beat sexism?

It disgusts me that does...you have a job and a vote due to women (and men) who fought sexism and now you blithely proclaim that you are "happy" to be sexist....oh yes..I am sure you are now you are reaping the benefits of what women fought to get you all those many years ago.

"only those who are unhappy about their status actually make a fuss about it."

Big leap there between I'd like to keep my marital status private to being fundamentally unhappy about it!!!

There are many things I like to keep private - my salary for example - it doesn't mean I'm ashamed of them - it just means that it is of no relevance to anyone but me (and my dh). Our wedding was private, just us at a registry office, no friends or family attended - it was a commitment we made solely to each other and that felt intensely private and intimate and is not something we felt we needed to share with the world!!!

I realise that not everyone likes the term Ms - I don't like the terms Miss & Mrs but I'll still address you in whatever way you wish and I'll try not to be judgey about what you chose - I'm nice like that!

Disparity you are a woman after my own heart! I am very private too...I think I will change my user name to MsShannahansRevenge!

I assumed that 'sexist' was tongue in cheek; it was started by someone else. Women didn't die to get called Ms!! I doubt whether it crossed their mind. I think Ms is dire and cringe if anyone were to call me it, but they can if they want-it isn't important. Surely women died so that we could have choice and not have other women sitting in judement if our choice differs from theirs? I fail to see what is liberating about keeping your father's name.
Someone else has started a thread because they don't like being called 'love'-I think that more people will stick to it when so many people are picky about their marital status-'love' is safer! (although you will upset just as many people!)

I think YABU I am not fussed one way or another what I am called but I think that it is a reasonable assumption to make that if someone is married they are called Mrs. It's what kids are taught in school and what most people call themselves. If it really is that important to you to be known as something different then you will have to correct people but I don't think its reasonable to expect people to know in advance or even ask what you want to be called.

pisces women died so that you and I could have a choice and that choice includes choosing a title.

Exactly and I choose Mrs-so it is up to me and I shouldn't be judged for it.

Pisces I will judge women who say they are "sexist" because it's a slightly sick thing to say...like a black person saying they're racist against other black people.

Really it just makes you look very ignorant...or brainwashed.

I chose Ms from a very young age because I felt it unfair that we all knew whether women were married or not by their title and it wasn't the same for men.

I really don't care whether anyone knows if I'm married or not when I'm ordering a new phone or booking a car in for a service. But I do care that they'd know more about me doing that than any man. It's the way the traditions developed, but in modern times it's wrong and I won't accept it.

Thank you for this thread, I have slipped a bit and let people get away with it, but I have new resolve to quietly continue fighting this battle by correcting everyone politely at every opportunity.

I think this might be a generation thing.

Just done a straw poll in the office where all of us are 40+ and we all feel that Mrs is a status statement. We all took great delight in flaunting our engagement rings under our single sisters' noses and see our title of Mrs in the same way.

Someone who dares call any of us Mizz will get their name for nowt!

Randy Russian I don't think it is a generational thing. I am well under 40 and a Ms. It is no-one's business at work, the airport or at the bank etc whether I am married or not. My wife however prefers Mrs.
I book a lot of flights for people from my work and for women I always pick Ms as the title as it was always meant to reflect someone not acknowledging their marital status.
I am very secure in my marriage but that doesn't mean I have to be a Mrs!
We also double-barrelled so we both changed our names and that causes more problems than being a Ms! :)

I always thought that Ms was short for 'mistress' a term used in 'olden days' for older ladies who are perhaps too old for Miss or wanted to add some gravitas to their status.

I am offended when called Miss or Ms, I like being a Mrs, thank you very much!

Malificence Ms is just used to not define your status. If you want to correct them then fine but IMO Ms should be used as the default setting for any women, the same as Mr is the default setting for any male :)

I thought that flight tickets had to exactly match the name on your passport?
Mine says Mrs X X X.

Actually, Master is the correct salutation for a young man - traditionally, didn't men become Mr on marriage too?

Apologies I meant is used NOW as the default setting for men.

Ahh I wondered why this thread seemed similar.

Wasnt it (or very like it) on the feminist section recently?

Well at least we are finally getting to the truth of why many Ms's dont like to be accidentally called Mrs.

Its unreasonable to expect people to just expect that someone has feminist leanings, and that the social norm of Mrs is actually a terrible offence.

Perhaps some kind of badge or labelled hat is in order?

Oh and my passport just like everyone else's I deal with does not have a marital status :)

no, just on reaching adulthood. Which is exactly the problem.

Don't think it is a reasonable assumption that married women are Mrs. Lots of them aren't. Reasonable assumption is Ms as the default and then change it if the person says 'actually it's Miss/Mrs'.

Find the idea that Mrs is a status thing bizarre. What's so big and clever about being married as opposed to living together with someone or being single? If the people 'flaunting' their wedding rings are over 40 that's even more odd, as they will have been young during the 1980s when sexism was frowned on.

Maybe we should junk the whole Mr/Mrs/Ms/Miss thing, since there are so many ill-informed people who somehow appear to believe Ms - divorced (why on earth they would think that I do not know). Let's go back to Mistress and Master for all adults, perhaps adding in Dame and Father for the elderly.

Mal - no, men have never changed title on marriage (unless they marry into the aristocracy, I guess).

I don't understand why a bit of courtesy is so tricky - surely, you just ask someone what they prefer to be called and some people will say Mrs, some Ms, and some will want you to use their first name. Easy.

My parents (both just turned 60) were brought up in an era where everyone was called Mr X, Mrs X or Miss Y. That was then and things have changed. It's about time our marital status was made irrelevant in this regard (as men are with 'Mr' no matter what). We should have one salutation - end of!

I have used 'Ms' from a young age. It annoyed me that I had to announce my marital status when paying a bill, buying car insurance or similar.

If there were terms in use for men that were equivalent (as Master and Mister don't fulfil that function anymore) then I wouldn't have a problem but there aren't. So I prefer to be called an equivalent neutral term and use 'Ms' or nothing at all.

Even if I got married, I would continue to use 'Ms'. Again, if there was an equivalent 'marital status' term for men then I wouldn't have a problem but there isn't. I don't see being married as a status thing to be announced when I pay my electricity bill. I see the whole Mrs/Miss thing as very outdated.

And I should have said - YANBU!

I'm going to revive the title GoodWife.