to think my friend should've picked her small baby DD up 2 hours ago when I asked her to?

[taintedpaint]

I am looking after my friend's 5 month old DD today. Said friend has gone to an appointment that she couldn't take her DD to. I said fine, I would look after her. I have a childless house today and a day off work, so here I am. She was supposed to pick the baby up at 2pm, but sent me a text message to say she was doing something else and would be picking her up anytime from about now onwards.

I was not told before I agreed to the babysitting that there would be anything beyond this appointment and I specifically told my friend that I would not be able to look after the baby beyond 3pm as I had things to do.

To top it all off, the baby is exclusively breastfed and refuses to take a bottle (which my friend knows only too well) so I have had a screaming baby on my hands that my friend should have picked up two hours ago, no way to pacify her and no idea when she will be picked up.

It's the poor little baby I feel sorry for, she is hungry and tired and I can't do a thing for her.

AIBU to refuse to babysit again and be pissed off at my friend for not sticking to the plan? The extra thing is not something that needed to be done specifically today btw.

Nappy, no my friend got to the stage where she would switch her phone off just to avoid the situation all together, although I should've pointed out she did bottle feed because she just could'nt connect with the baby and did'nt want to have him so close to her all the time :(. I do know though that she did leave the house leaving her son with a 14YO (who thankfully and unknown to friend) knew how to make up bottles when baby was hungry otherwise he would've starved as she did'nt bother explaining.

I have to admit I am a bit saddened by your story about 'abandoning' your son to make him take a bottle, but this could be me being naive as I bottle fed my DS from the start so not really sure what I'd do in that situation.

Yes I was thinking the same thing maryz!!

For gawds sake nappyaddict, perhaps the clue is in your name There is no obvious reason for your insistent questioning on this matter, other than you are just as guilty.

Although back to the original point which I meant to add to my above ramblings, it does'nt matter if she decided it was'nt worthy of her going back she SHOULD have gotten back for the agreed time, OP did'nt just call her because DD was crying she called as she was waiting to get somewhere herself and her baby was VERY distressed! AGAIN THERE IS NO EXCUSE FOR THAT!

Should also add that if OP had taken LO with her (which I would'nt have either) the irony would be that the mother would probably have gone mad at the baby being taken out without her consent... sods law eh?! :)

I think NA may have done this a few times herself. It's just this crazy feeling I have. Maybe I'm psychic?

tainted I said that your case wasn't the same as my case. With me it was a prearranged thing because if DS could smell me in the house he would refuse to take the bottle. I had to go out for a couple of hours around his normal feeding time so he knew I wasn't there and would have to take it.

I really think this thread is a bit hysterical.

YANBU to be annoyed, your friend probably wanted to go around the shops and knew that her baby wasnt in any danger. That was wrong and unfair on you and the baby but trying to be the martyr by saying that you will look after the baby, in case someone else may not be as patient is a bit OTT.

Your friend was cheeky and thoughtless, you pulled her up on it, whether or not you mind the baby again is up to you but if the mother is taking the time to ebf, I doubt that she is all that neglectful.

I love your profile page Babyheave (and yes I am a nosey moo :o)

Tainted- I don't know why you're getting so much shite but Yanbu at all. You poor thing, it must have been so stressful and upsetting.
You need to tell your friend very very clearly that this can never happen again and you are very angry with her. Silly cow.

Not sure why the OP is being subjected to such an inquisition.

PND is not always obvious. Is it possible for you to have a word with her dp/dh? It may give you more of a clue whether there is a problem or not. Do other friends babysit for her? Has she done something similar with them? If so then it may be worth having word with her health visitor (assuming you are in the same area and share the same PCT).

The oddest thing I find in all this is that she left you knowing that her baby wouldn't take a bottle and hadn't told you. That compounded with not coming back for a feed makes me think there is more to her story.

Thanks mamadiva. Its all true except I like more types of alcohol than that, but didn't wan to come across as an old soak

I'm still with OP that its not on. When I was ebf my LO I had to be forced out of the house, so maybe that colours my opinion though.

I'm not trying to be a martyr at all Whitethorn, not one bit, but faced with a screaming baby for that long, not everyone is going to have patience. In hindsight, I would rather she was with me than someone who would blow their top.

If she had wanted to go shopping another day and just have some time to herself, I would've been happy to have the baby if I wasn't working or it wasn't cutting into my time with my nephew and still will, now I have calmed down.

No martyrdom in this house, trust me.

MollieO, she is short on friends, this much I know. She has a partner, but he is very much hands off with the baby as far as I can tell. I don't know him well enough to really speak to him tbh. Now I'm less angry and more concerned, it all seems odd to me too. I fully accept there are circumstances that cause things like this to happen, and it's not always just selfishness, so I am going to pay close attention.

Is she back yet?

She came back on Wednesday Merrily. :)