to hate it when people who can't or won't drive talk about "lift shares"

[soggy14]

I'm not talking about friends here who I may offer a lift to but various colleagues/acquaintances etc. who sign up to go somewhere/do something and then announce that they "don't drive" and so need a "lift share". I hate this. It not sharing when it is all give on one side and take on the other.

It seems that not being a driver for whatever reason somehow makes it okay for you to cadge off other people all the time and those of us who have bothered to learn to drive or who have prioritised buying a car are supposed to enjoy having someone else in the passenger seat.

with just say no the problem is that it becomes hard to say "no" without giving offense when there is an expectation that you are saying "no" to what is somehow become someone's right. Also with people being so insistant (eg waiting by someones car) - it is like saying "no" to these tained sales reps or the Jehovah's witnesses :)

I think saying no to sales reps or JWs is bound to be easierm because the odds of seeing them again is low, and if you feel you may have caused offence (short of abusive language or physical violence) there will be no comeback.

[With the proviso not to be too offensive if it is a telesales call - never know what 'revenge' may be possible.]

'It's not so easy, expat, to say no when the boss expects it and can make things harder for someone, so there's no "end of" about it in some cases.'

In that case, then, it's either get another job or get your contract amended so you're paid for collecting people and ferrying the around (that can have insurance implications, too, if you're using a car for business and the OP would do well to get this hashed out with said boss).

As long as "petrol-sharing" can be viewed as as acceptable as "lift-sharing."
The word "share" implies splitting the load in some way. Not sure how the 'liftee' is contributing unless it's in the form of money for petrol.

EXACTLY.

ZOMBIE THREAD!!!!!!!!!

.

It comes down to etiquette and not taking advantage. ALWAYS offer petrol money!

My old boss decided to downsize when her dh's car finally died, so they became a one car family. This basically meant that her dh used the car (he was self employed) and she started asking everyone in the office for lifts home (her dh would drop her off in the morning). After a few months of this people were really fed up, she was the boss so they felt like they couldn't say no. She lived in a busy part of our city, only a few miles out of the way to drop her but it would take 45 minutes to an hour to get back out of that area, so people were adding an hour onto their commute home to accommodate her. She's a lovely person but completely oblivious to the misery she was causing and she didn't offer petrol money either. I learned early on to sign up for after work gym classes so I wasn't pulled into the boss transport scheme but it did finally end when a group of employees decided to go to HR and complain that they felt coerced into giving her lifts everyday. I gave her a frank warning of what was about to happen and she was shocked to learn that everyone was so fed up with her. She bought a new car that same weekend! Although she did make some comments that she was only trying to reduce her carbon footprint (save money)... I think it's easy to underestimate the hassle you are causing when someone gives you a lift.

I've recently passed by test so can see both sides. I had a lot of good friends graciously give me lifts. I appreciate how much easier it is to drive somewhere than muddle your way there. I'm really trying to pay forward the kindness I had when I couldn't drive and help out those who can't when I can. If you're not encouraged or just don't learn whe you're younger, it's actually pretty hard to get it sorted.

There's a certain massive hill I used to have to walk up, and really appreciate being able to sail up it in my car. It really is a small amount of effort to pick someone a reasonable distance away from you up. It's often a case of mountain/molehill.

I do see the OPs pov and have always tried to be very careful about this.

Otoh if you cannot drive, it is very frustrating to see how other people always organise every social event and often work events too around the assumption that everybody can drive and then get narked if you point out that you can only get there if you are given a lift. Often it would be just as possible to make an alternate arrangement if you don't want to give someone a lift. If you don't like it, and want the other person to be part of the group, then plan accordingly.

Dd goes to an event weekly which she gets to quite happily on public transport. A friend goes to the same event and expects his parent to give her a lift one way and then complains about the public transport arrangement the other way (because I cannot drive). Dd has tried turning down lifts but then he gets offended over that, too.

THIS THREAD IS ALMOST 6 YEARS OLD

I don't drive and tend to get taxis, trains or walk. We live in a small city and taxis are cheap.
I never ask for lifts from friends but they do often offer or just say they will drop me off as its on their way. I am always grateful and do try to buy them coffees, do extra favours etc for them in return. If we go on any longer journeys out of city etc I give petrol money.
I can't drive but have tried and am very bad at it, I'd rather be safe. It's not worth driving to where I work as its in a town centre and parking would be more expensive than the bus or even a taxi by far.
Running a car just for social reasons is silly. I'm ok getting the train or bus or taxi.

WHY THE FUCK ARE ALL THESE ZOMBIE THREADS BEING DUG UP TODAY?

I'm a non-driver. I don't judge people on what they spend on take aways, holidays, clothes, etc. I don't know what their personal finances are like so I wouldn't assume anything about why they can't afford driving lessons. That is rude.

I think YABU really but it depends on how far you are travelling out of your way.

I get very ocassional lifts with a colleague to meetings (once every two months) and I ask is she planning on going by bus or by car and if she says car I ask for a lift. I don't offer petrol money as she was going to drive without me so no difference to her. I will chip in and go halves when paying parking. I don't ever ask her to go out of her way to drop me off but she probably goes about 70metres out her way in to a car park for an easier place to stop the car. I could not see any point to travelling seperately for the sake of it. I would follow her down the road on the bus otherwise.

READ THE FUCKING THREAD BEFORE POSTING! THEN YOU'LL FIND OUT IT'S A ZOMBIE THREAD!

Interesting that OP has been called 'selfish', 'not nice' and 'a cow' by posters on here who don't drive. Rather proves her original point doesn't it?

I think the OP should come back to this 6 year old thread right this minute.

Hope you feel better for digging up a 6 year old thread to get your point across clam

Clam didn't dig it up.

This also grinds my gears. I didn't buy my car, insure it, pay road tax, mot it etc to ferry people about. Guess what, if you want to ride in a car, save up for lessons/car just like everyone else did. rant over.

Every car share I've been involved with has included both drivers and non drivers, and all have contributed to petrol and parking costs.

YANBU if the non drivers expect not to pay
YABU if the non drivers are wanting to pay

oh ffsssss

So she didn't - apologies, in the event that Clam reads this.

Same comment but applied to Embo1.

MN can we please do something to lock these old threads. It's really fucking annoying.

Try asking in Site Stuff on this thread www.mumsnet.com/Talk/site_stuff/2627475-Zombie-threads-again-baffled-post-them-here?msgid=60816745,
SIX YEAR OLD ZOMBIE THREADS are very annoying, aren't they?