to think that people who feed their kids junk to the point they are obese should be visited by social services?!

[sawdusty]

It makes me so angry when you see these morbidly obese children (fat from food, not any other medical reason) waddling around and there mums buying them more bars of chocolate and packets of crips, wtf are they DOING?!

Maltesers - it is possible to become overweight just eating the seemingly healthy foods from your list! Don't kid yourself.
The other problem is, if you deny your child all treats, and don't make them part of a healthy diet, as soon as they have their own money to spend, or leave home to go to uni, they will eat whatever they like.

Yes, true, but surely you must try to do do something ?? Not just buy stuff you know is fattening. Deny them stuff will make them want it, but God, who is the parent. You have to try to take some control if ur kids are OBESE !!!

Yes, you're right. As I said earlier, I am overweight, and will do my utmost to make sure my own dc are not, I also said that some parents obviously need more support, and to a certain extent I do agree with the op.

The only obese dc I know personally are ones who, as babies, had feeding problems, or were underweight. Their parents (average size) then take control of their Childs portion sizes, and despite the food being "healthy" feed enough for a grown adult. (actually, I think I've said this before too!)

It's jut attitudes of certain people on here that are really winding me up, but hey ho, there are twats in all walks of life!

I get where you are coming from Maltesers, but was also going to say something along the lines of Faverolles.

I dont think you can go from all to nothing (not that your house is probably full of crap but you know what I mean)

I have often pondered what I would do if I felt my older children were too fat (at the moment my 3 year old is fine and my baby is fat but she is still a baby who eats actually very little and got "fat" on milk alone, having been born 9 pounds 2, so needs to level off in the same way my 3 year old did)

I think I would adopt a slimming-world type approach to their food intake. Meaning the foods that are "controlled" on slimming world would be discretely "controlled" by me (cereal, bread, higher energy dense foods like cheese, etc) but anything "free" on slimming world they could snack freely on and their meals would be prepared from.

For adults on slimming world, this leaves margin for a "treat" everyday which can be the difference between feeling deprived and not. That means they could have some ice cream for pudding or a treat sized mars bar or something - whatever their thing was.

If you did it gradually and discretely, they probably wouldn't realise, and they would gradually grow into a healthier weight.

Right, I am saying this as someone who was fifteen stone until failry recently.

I did not overeat because I have psychological problems. I overate because I like cake and crisps and had no self-control.

I'm not speaking for all overweight people. I'm just saying that you're doing them no favours by giving them a convenient excuse such as "it's psychological" It makes people less willing to take responsibility for their weight.

Oh and also, comfort eating is a bullshit phenomenon. No such thing. Sorry.

Um, actually, I have "comfort" eaten..... I can pinpoint times where things have been going completely crap and I have had no other way of making myself feel better than to eat something I love (instead of doing vodka through my eyeballs or kicking the cat or breaking windows, all things I would consider outrageous and anti-social and unproductive and would be judged negatively for!)

However, eating a huge amount of chocolate or whatever can feel like a reward or nurturing behaviour when all else seems bleak. If for any reason you can't get support or comfort another way, food can seem like the lesser of many evils, and can give comfort - tastes, smells and textures can take one back to a time when one felt secure and happy, and sometimes that's not a bad thing if you can control it.

What worries me about the judgemental aspect surrounding over-eaters, is what happens if they are already in such a bleak emotional place that food is the only thing they feel helps them cope? Tell them they're wrong and to pull themselves together without the right support and they may feel even more desperate. Or would that be an acceptable thing, to weed out the defective with so little self-control?

I can see both sides of the argument, but think that society as a whole really needs to sort out all the double standards and mixed messages we are constantly bombarded with about every aspect of life, not just food. We are told to make our own choices and trust our own instincts, yet when it comes to lifestyle, from parenting right through education to eating, there is always a new official or unofficial perspective being put out there.

So we are supposed to sift through it all, use the bits that are sensible etc and that suit us, only to discover that no, that was wrong too, and someone is going to pass judgement and claim that ignorance is no defence.

Is it any wonder that some people find life harder than others? And do they really deserve such little compassion? Nobody is perfect after all.

There is such a thing as comfort eating, perhaps you've just not experienced it Cupcakes. There're direct link with rewarding myself with food as an adult to my childhood. I was rewarded with chocolate and sweets, even now I'll do myself a nice dinner or a lovely pud (both, usually) just for getting through the day, and it's when DH isn't here. Emotional eating is the very reason I am overweight.

I dont think anyone can say there is no such thing, even if they dont do it.

If a person eats something, feels comforted, and eats something because it makes them feel comforted, then it exists!

I'm sure its at the heart of why ex-smokers often put on weight. The "thing" they would do when they had that empty void they needed to fill becomes food instead of a fag.

Oh you can certainly comfort eat.

When there is a big, empty burning pit in your stomach that pysically hurts and you fantisise about how wonderful it would be to just not wake up in the morning and you hope you have a heart attack in the night because you want to be dead but you can't put your family through the pain of killing yourself - or maybe you're just too scared to do it - and that burning pain in your stomach goes away, just for a moment, when you binge and feel physically stretched and full in your stomach and the pain seems to go away for a minute, even though it comes back only it brings disgust with it, because you know you're a useless fat pig and stuffing a whole loaf of bread into your fat mouth just made things worse and didn't sort out the reason you burn from a hole in your soul and pray to god to please take you in the night.

Oh yes, there is certainly comfort eating. I am very very pleased for those who have never been in such a position and can't understand it - and even doubt that it exists. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

"Oh and also, comfort eating is a bullshit phenomenon. No such thing. Sorry."

Absolute rubbish. You've obviously never been in a position where you feel that food is the only thing in your life that makes you happy.

In the past I have eaten my way through 250g chocolate bars in 10 minutes. Despite being obese and having been warned by the doctor that I had a high risk of diabetes. I think that behaviour is self harm, as much as someone who harms themselves in more conventional recognised forms. I hated myself so much that I didn't care if I had a heart attack or got diabetes. I can't tell you how many nights I went to bed feeling like I was going to be sick because I'd eaten so much that day - and yet I'd do the same thing the next day. Or taken a load of washing upstairs with a pack of biscuits hidden in the clothes and got into bed and eaten them all and felt so much relief.