to think that people who feed their kids junk to the point they are obese should be visited by social services?!

[sawdusty]

It makes me so angry when you see these morbidly obese children (fat from food, not any other medical reason) waddling around and there mums buying them more bars of chocolate and packets of crips, wtf are they DOING?!

still a lot of denial on here with the 'maybe he's fat due to medical reasons' as this is way in the minority and no-one has said they would ever ridicule these poor kids. It's one thing seeing overweight adults but young children is a totally different matter. The question here was obese children to obese parents (we have all seen them) who I doubt it is because of medical reasons and probably verges on the parents overfeeding their kids (maybe they want their family all to look alike, maybe it's a comfort thing and making sure they all accept each other or whatever. I'd feel the same seeing a parent give their skinny kid nothing but coke and junk or a smoking parent driving and smoking with their kids in the car. The poor kids have no choice. My poor kids have to put up with me, poor dears, shit - I have to put up with me!

The number of aisles in the average supermarket packed with every conceivable type of crisp and the huge number of junk foodlines aimed at children make it clear that there are an awful lot of people out there buying massive amounts of rubbish to feed their children. Everything in moderation, all these things are fine for treats but not as a major part of a child's diet. Not only is feeding a child masses of rubbish dangerous for his/her health but its also expensive. And sets the child up for a lifetime of poor eating habits. So yes, I feel sorry for obese kids in supermarkets when I see what's in their mothers' trolleys.

(stops banging head against brick wall) finally some more posters talking sense.

begonyabampot- thats exactly what the OP is doing - ridiculing children. Waddling around - WTF?????

The two most obese people I know who are married to each other have a very average sized child. Is that because he is underfed? Or maybe they don't accept him????

(goes to join MrsNonSmoker before she says something she later regrets.....)

Waddling is what people do when they have very fat legs, it isn't me trying to be mean, it is what happens

I agree that parents who overfeed their children to the point of obesity need something doing! help, support - if there are really people out there who do not understand that veg is better for you than lard fried chips then this country is in a worst state than I thought!

It is unforgivable to allow your child to become obese. It is a failure of your duty of care as a parent. Yes there are children who have a medical reason for their weight - but do not try to shit me! They are few and far between. in the vast majority of cases, children are fat - called "pudgy" "solid" "well built" "chunky" etc by their parents. Any name but "fat" because "fat" is real. "Fat" slaps you in the face and demands you act. So call it "big boned" and you can ignore it.

I will explain why this makes me so angry.

It was done to me.

I was a fat child, as was my sister. My mother piled our plates high with chips chips chips. everything and chips. Made out of potatoes that could easily have been a healthy jacket spud. Everything fried in lard. Lots of sweets and crisps. I was a child. You cannot expect a young child to understand and to take responsibility for their weight. That is the parents job. I became a fat teen. Bullied to the point I tried to kill myself. Food was my enemy and my only friend. I got fatter and fatter and bullied more and more.

I am now 36 and at my biggest weighed 36 stone. I had a sleeve gastrectomy and am losing weight well.

And of course, as an adult, my weight is my responsibility. But my parents made me a fat child. Bullies ripped me to bits. At 18 it was like - here you are, fatty, your body is your problem. Enjoy your lifetime battle with the childhood eating patterns and the screwed up relationship with food. Sort it out now.

It makes me SO angry to see parents do that to a child. Do you have ANY idea how hard it is to have been a fat child, with NO idea about healthy eating and no self esteem and comfort eating to try to turn yourself around in adulthood?

And my mum? Barely ate. size 10 if that.

It can be child abuse, imo. And it needs dealing with. And we need to stop pussyfooting around the feelings of parents who are screwing with their kids health.

I am concerned for these children's health surely a morbidley obese child is cause for concern, and yes, anger that they have been fed to the point there are DANGEROUSLY OVERWEIGHT

That last comment was aimed at Loflo btw....

don't really get your point loflo about underfed or not accepting. I would never ridicule these children and would try and help if I could but their parents do make me a bit angry - one child in a family can be overweight (have friends with this problem who are worried about their children and seeking help) but when it's the whole family it seems the parents are making this choice for them.

This country is rubbish when it comes to dealing with food and particularly teaching cooking. Those that say it is cheaper or a sign of love to buy and feed them selves or kids crap need to be re-educated but there is often no one there to do it.
I am very guilty of showing love with food, if my DS has a great day at preschool or home, I treat him to his fav home cooked meal (smoked mackerel, pasta & sweetcorn) or a home-made pudding.
I love my DS, DP and myself, so I don't feed us crap (no matter how very skint we are). A Mars bar or coke in the fridge is not love its easy, knowing and taking the time to learn what your child needs to eat and cooking it for them is love.

sawdusty - dress it up how you like now - your original post was not concern.

Begonya - if you read all of loflo's posts on here you would understand.

Whether waddling is what 'fat people do' or not (& nothing like a sweeping generalisation is there ), it was completely uncalled for in your OP - back tracking now does not change that.

I don't have an issue with the sentiment that obese children need help - I have an issue with your revolting attitude.

Criticising your child's appetites and trying to control them by your dictation is imo a pretty effective way to give your child issues with food. It's a huge mistake to think that parenting which works by restricting a child's access to food is helping them to maintain good health - mental and physical.

Mugglewump - you've talked a lot about the negativity your child's eating bought in to the house - can you not see that it's your reaction that bought that in? Your daughter isn't overweight - you said that you have no idea what she weighs - but you've decided she's eating too much by your standards of what is acceptable. That really troubles me. I'm sorry to single you out again but your posts in particular upset me.

I think there is a lot of reluctance in general to accept that food is an emotional issue. It's about self esteem, self sustaining and it's about control. As parents we should be aware that food is a potentially life threatening battleground and we should tread very carefully.

I am done with this thread, chipingin & loflo your attitudes are giving me a headache, no wonder obesity is rife and is going to get a lot worse

Think Mugglewump sounds quite rational. Some kids are greedy and will just keep eating, especially junk - at what point would you control or say no. Mugglewump just doesn't buy all the crap many others do so that it's not a case of being tempted or having constantly having to say no. She gives treats but hasn't been sucked into the a treat every day or night routine. A friends little girl is becoming quite overweight at 7yrs old (other siblings look normal weight). She just keeps asking her mum for more, snacks, cakes (they are a bakey family so often have stuff around) while her siblings don't seem that interested.

I restrict my childs foods as well in the same way that I dont let them smoke, take drugs or drink alcohol, decide their own bedtimes, watch what they want on TV etc.

Kids aren't born with self control & it's unrealistic to expect them to have this. We have to teach them the same as we teach them anything else.

I think the same should be done to the parents as it would be if the children were massively underfed.

Brought Northern lurker, brought....sorry really winds me up!!

NorthernLurker: The negativity came when she wouldn't take no for an answer. Of course I had to react, what was I to do?
Let her gorge?
I don't know what she weighs, but I don't need to know, to know she was getting close to being fat, I could see it.

Why so much because I stopped buying bread, and it was bread eating in quantities as a snack food, not eating a normal amount of bread as a meal that was the problem.
No one has questioned that I stopped buying crisps or biscuits, and no one would ever suggest that it's a good idea to let kids choose how many sweets they eat, so why this?

Bread is available at school everyday if she wants it, it's available on weekends. She's not desperately craving it, but when it was there she would eat too much and saying no turned our home into a battle ground each day after school.
I've put a stop to it and as a result DD's slimmed down, though she has also grown taller, and there are no more arguments about food.

What is bad about that?

ooh ello, I'm back, have you all had time to look at AIBU: I AM A MORBIDLY OBESE MUM WITH 2 DCS AND THEY ARE SKINNY.....SHOULD I FEED THEM MORE JUNK FOOD OR JUST CALL SOCIAL SERVICES TO TAKE THEM AWAY?

I've been too busy eating biscuits and feeding the babbies lard, but I understand it throws some perspective on this subject.

Sawdusty if you post in AIBU you are playing with the big girls and you will get a variety of opinions. If you don't like it go have a , or visit netmums and get a ticker.........

PS very sorry to hear about your headache - you sound like a total spoilt madam. Byeeeee.

Sawdust - I understand where you are coming from we have a little boy at DS2 nursery who is very overweight and I want someone to seriously talk to his mum about what she is doing to him.

Every morning he is walking to school eating crisps, every lunchtime she give him a can of pop and a chocolate bar, he is 3.

I have overheard her telling him, 'if you don't behave I'm going to take your playstation away' (why does a 3 year old need a playstation), she has openly moaned that the GP told her off for over feeding him, but obviously this has had no impact.

She needs someone to talk to her that she will actually listen to.

And the cost of this stuff (crisps/pop/chocolate costs far more than fruit/cereal/milk that is readily available, and very cheap at our local shop).

Loads of the kids around here are overweight it makes me very sad, especially for the teenagers.

Loflo - what she really means is that her posts have no substance and it's getting harder to argue her point of view in view of the fact that she keeps contradicting herself. Idiot.

whoknowswhatthefutureholds - your view point is different to that of Sawdusts, in that you mean well, you want to help the little boy/his Mum. You have not started a thread in the same vein as SD. It is her attitude that is grating, not the sentiment that children/parents may need help.

I think it doesnt look nice at all and yes often blame lies with the parents as they are supposed to be guides and role models. Having said that we are 5 children in our family, all of us were fairly slim apart from my younger sister. My parents never kept any junk food in the house - my mum made everything herself from pizza to bread and we only ever had chocolate or crisps on special occasions. My sister recently found out she had PCOS - So potentially a reason for her being overweight.
I have never been over a size 12 apart since I had my daughter a year ago when I shot up to a size 18 and stayed there and havent lost any since - I am currently being tested for an autoimmune disease and have also given up my rather heavy smoking habit, I feel bad about my weight gain and I know everyone in my family thinks I have put on a lot (but wont tell me to my face) but I know I try my best to get exercise and not eat in excess.

Just amazed that someone can consider a size 22 "not massive"...

LookToWinward - do fuck off.