To not replace something that i havent seen

[Ray81]

We went on holiday back in August and my sister who is 18 looked after my house.
She had a party which she didnt ask to have and evidently one of her friends left a Ipod docking station here.

She asked me for it last week and i told her there was nothing like that in my house (although didnt know what i was looking for tbh). Now i had a real blitz when i got back from hols and was alittle worried i had thrown it out by mistake, i do tend to just go into auto pilot when clearing out. I said to her perhaps i had and thinking it would be £20 or so that i would replace it. I only said that because i couldnt be sure i hadnt thrown it away ifswim. Well she has come back to me saying it is £350 and showing me what it looked like. I havent seen it and have looked ALL over my house.

I havent got that amount of money and i dont think i should replace something that for one i honestly cannot remember seeing and 2 that wasnt my responsibility in the first place.

So AIBU to say NO i am not replacing it. surely if something is that expensive you shouldnt even take it out of your own home and be that careless with it. Whats to say he hasnt left it somewhere else and my house was the last time he could remember seeing it.

OP, have been lurking on here

Am totally furious for me, but another poster made a good point: have you had any contact with this mysterious BOSE-owning friend?

If you haven't answered your sis's text already, I'd answer it by saying you want her friend's number AND his parents' number because now the police are involved, this is really serious and you want to talk to him directly.

If she's calling your bluf... call hers right back!! What's betting she'll suddenly 'lose' his number...?

Totally furious for YOU, not for myself.

Also bluff, the betting, etc...

There are alot of questions your family need to be answering.

Here are a few;

1. Why has mother never ever not once remembered in the last 3 months to ask you about the docking station considering your sis apparently kept asking her to?

1. Why has your sis never ever not once remembered in the last 3 months to ask you about the docking station (a quick message on facebook, a text, email, phonecall)?

1. Why are your parents so willing to believe that you are a theif, but not even contemplate that their other daughter willfully neglected the birds?

1. Who is the mystery friend?

1. WHy are they so concerned about a fucking object when your pets died from neglect.

1. WHy is your mother lying to you?

I would add another one to HowAnnoying's list.

• who was at the party? You need to know as one of them is a thief. I would hand the list to the police, or better yet tell Dsis I was going to after I got the list off her.

I doubt she will hand it over but then I doubt you will get a decent honest answer to any of the questions.

Asking them does at least show that you know what they are up to.

OP only just skimmed through.I hope you're not considering buying your sisters friend a new docking station..
Stick to your guns.Don't give in.

TBH I wouldn't be asking anything. They have shown their true colours and behaved terribly to the OP. No matter how hard the OP tries, they are never going to admit to themselves that they have behaved atrociously.

OP - I've said it before, I would cut all contact. No texts, fb, phonecalls. Every time you enter into any discussion, it just gives more fuel to the frenzy of blaming you.

PLEASE get angry with your sister over this.

Have lurked here, just wanted to wish OP well, your family sound horrible and you sound like a lovely person. Please stick to your guns.

Just a thought, and apologies if this has been mentioned before; but since this party happened in August, is there any chance there have been subsequent parties and said Ipod docking station has been used at those? I know your sis has deleted you from facebook, but is there anyone else who could get access on your behalf for evidence of other parties?

I just don't get how your sister managed to fob off her 'friend' for so long.
In her shoes if I knew a friend of mine had left such an expensive item at my sister's place, I'd borrow the keys myself to go and fetch it.
Specially if the item had been loaned for a party I was hosting. I wouldn't wait months and then my sister that it was all her fault.

She should have located and returned the dock herself in the days following the party.

Her behaviour is just so bizarre.

"I just don't get how your sister managed to fob off her 'friend' for so long."

Which makes you wonder if sister is just after some cash tbh.

Also, how many times has OP met with DS face-face since her holiday ?

How many times would she normally anticipate meeting her in 3 months ?

Sounds like she's been hiding all along.

Shocking behaviour from your family, OP.

They sound like utter shits, you are better off wiothout people like that in your life.

I have seen my DS several times since i have got back from hols and she has NEVER once mentioned this ipod docking station to me.

I am just completely sick to the back teeth of it, i know mum and dad are not talking to me because i pick my other Dsis (10) up from school with my DD1 (8) and since this has come about at beginning of the week they have made sure she has been picked up by other Dsis.
Quite why they get to not talk to me when it should be me not talking to them i dont know.
I know i should cut them out of my life but they are my Mum and Dad and no matter what i love them as do the DDs. No matter what though i will be distancing myself from them more.

To give you all alittle back ground as to what my family are like. A couple of yrs ago we didnt talk for 3 months because the aunt that is sticking up for me now fell out with my mum because this sis told my aunt that my Dad beat her and instead of talking to my mum my aunt asked me they argued with her because she should have gone to them not me. Anyway i still spoke to her of course and still house sat for her when she went away. My Dad then had a massive go at me because i was still talking to her and i should be backing my mum and dad up i argued with him and told him exactly what i thought and we didnt talk for 3 months. I thought he had learnt then that i would stick up for myself.
There was also an incident where a friend of my sis attacked me and i had to defend myself, i ended up at the police station on my own without any support from them at all.

Goodness it sounds like something from eastenders . I cannot beleive that i am not more unhindged given all of this.

It sounds like your life is very intertwined with your family in general. If you can get a bit of distance from them, as you suggest, it might be a very good thing - and you might find that relationships actually improve a bit if you are around each other less. If not, at least they'll have less opportunity to take the piss (which they currently appear to be doing royally).

Under no circumstances should you give them the money if insurers do pay for the docking station. This is just a scam. I suspect there never was a docking station.

Don't give them your crime number. Can't say why, it just doesn't sit right.

Speak to the police about the fact she did not look after the birds and they died and maybe ask them if they can give her a serious talk about that if she can't be prosecuted.

Start looking for another family .

I am in the SE too if you want any support.

So she's had every opportunity to ask you about an expensive piece of equipment that was allegedly left at your house months ago and she never did??????

Until now when she's roped the whole family into believing your DH threw it away or hid it or God knows what else????

What. a. cow.

Bloody hell... I have just read this whole thread....

Word fail me....

Well - almost...

There isn't anything I can say that hasn't already been said. Your family are treating you atrociously and are a disgrace.

18 - she is WELL old enough to look after the birds - she's just too fucking self centered and babied by the family. I was looking after new born humans at 14 - birds would have been a doddle by comparison!

NONE of this is your fault. You should have been able to trust her to look after your home and your birds.

I'm sorry I can't wave a magic wand and make your family shape up! (if I could there are a few of mine I'd do first - you aren't alone!), but really, I think you would be better off telling them all to 'do one' and sticking with the bits of the family, like your Aunt, who are decent human beings x

You are an adult & can choose who you do & don´t see.

"I know i should cut them out of my life but they are my Mum and Dad and no matter what i love them as do the DDs."

I treat my friends better than your mum & dad are treating you & tbh I´d be keeping my children away from them.

Sorry to be so nosey, but...

Was your Dad hitting your sister ?

What happened with this DS's friend who attacked you ?
Was she badly injured ?
Is there any chance she is involved with your valuables being stolen ?

"My Dad then had a massive go at me because i was still talking to her and i should be backing my mum and dad up"

Oh the irony.

Do you know what, I would be changing the locks as soon as possible. You don't want any of them in your house ever again without you being there (and not even then).

And how coincidental that the missing docking station happens to be pretty much the top of the range model from an expensive make.

What a bunch of c*nts they sound.

CumfThats ok no my Dad never hit my sister i think she was doing it to get attention from my aunt tbh.

The friend situation was complicated. dsis was hanging around with a 45 yr old woman in a very undesirable area, we think she was being plied with drink and possibly drugs, we never found out for sure. She was 15 and understandably parents were concerned and she was told NOT to go round this womans house again. She did and i went to fetch her the woman in question then attacked me and i had to defend myself against her and her DOG. I went to the police of course but she said i attacked her . So would you beleive i got a caution for fighting , i had never been in trouble with the police in my life and my god i felt awful for days, felt like the scum of the earth tbh. anyways although the situation to begin with had nothing realy to do with me and i supported my parents they never gave me any support back at all. Acted like it had never happened.

So a yr later all that happened with my aunt and i refused to get involved and i ended up arguing with them anyways.

God this all sounds so awful when you right it down. My life always seems to be drama i need to change that and distancing myself from them will do that i think.

Get away from them. They are hell on a stick. They haven't dragged you down though. My God how bitter I would be, were I you.

Do you know what was said by your sister to the police, when she was 15 ?

Do you think your sister has a drug habit ?

Sounds like your sister has a life running round pushing everyone's buttons, successfully creating a sideshow to distract everyone from the main performance. HER.