To not replace something that i havent seen

[Ray81]

We went on holiday back in August and my sister who is 18 looked after my house.
She had a party which she didnt ask to have and evidently one of her friends left a Ipod docking station here.

She asked me for it last week and i told her there was nothing like that in my house (although didnt know what i was looking for tbh). Now i had a real blitz when i got back from hols and was alittle worried i had thrown it out by mistake, i do tend to just go into auto pilot when clearing out. I said to her perhaps i had and thinking it would be £20 or so that i would replace it. I only said that because i couldnt be sure i hadnt thrown it away ifswim. Well she has come back to me saying it is £350 and showing me what it looked like. I havent seen it and have looked ALL over my house.

I havent got that amount of money and i dont think i should replace something that for one i honestly cannot remember seeing and 2 that wasnt my responsibility in the first place.

So AIBU to say NO i am not replacing it. surely if something is that expensive you shouldnt even take it out of your own home and be that careless with it. Whats to say he hasnt left it somewhere else and my house was the last time he could remember seeing it.

I haven't read the whole thread yet (only on page 9) but just had to explode. Jesus fucking CHRIST. If I've got this straight, an adult you (previously, mistakenly) trusted invited strangers into your house without permission, while ignoring the one thing she was asked to do and letting your valuable pets die.

As if that's not enough, Wwhile these strangers were in your house, drinking and fucking and getting crap all over your furniture, they nicked a hundred quid from your children, plus an irreplaceable £2000 ring of huge sentimental value and a Tiffany necklace.

And somehow your family are still insisting that you're a thieving, lying manipulator and should replace something else that these criminals stole while they were at it???

!!!!%R&*$%&$%&%^!!!!! I am speechless. They are worthless shits, the lot of them. Cut them out of your life.

Hi again, The mystery docking station is the one linked to btw so thats why i am sure i havent seen it, when i first heard of it i thought it would be a small thing so possiblity of chucking it ifswim but i have not seen that in my house since i got home.

I have seen pictures of it in my house on the night of the second party and this is why it doesnt add up as the friend wasnt at that party, the friend was there 2 nights earlier where there is a picture of a different ipod docking station (cheap one), evidently according to sis they used the cheap at the first party as this friend didnt want anyone to touch his very expensive ipod docking station, he then left it here when he left [umm] for her to use on the night of the second party. It just doesnt ring true to me.

I have spoken to the police again and they have said that i should tell insurers re docking station and let them make the decision. I have spoken to the insurers and explained re my stuff and they said if i can get bank statements with the transactions this should be fine for them to pay out. I told them re the docking station (as advised by police) and they have said my insurance does cover other peoples possessions in my house but only if i give them permission for that thing to be in my house and as i didnt they prob wont cover it but will be incontact within 5 days. The friend is going to have to claim off their own insurance.

I did tell the police about the friend reporting his thing lost and gave them his name they never asked me for his reference number so dont see why sis needs mine but i have nothing to hide so will provide it.

I am so fucking on your behalf OP! Everytime I read this it makes my blood boil.

Keep hold of your own anger and use it to your advantage. They are still treating you like shit. DO NOT LET THEM GET THE BETTER OF YOU!!

You're sister is a lying cowbag!!

Oops ment your

It beggars belief that families can be like this with one another.

Aside from everything else, I don´t get why the rest of the family are so concerned about this docking thing tbh.

And adult took it to a house for/during a party & it was stolen.

That is his(?) problem & maybe he won´t be so careless in future.

A lot of docking stations look very similar to that one and are a fraction of the price, so even if your insurance do say they will pay, I wouldn't be claiming without proof of purchase from the friend. Well I wouldn't claim for it all, but if you feel you want to, get proof of purchase, before you risk sending your premiums sky high for something that they may never have owned.

All you have seen is a pictue of a docking station, which could be any docking station and could belong to anyone at the party. It may not be the one linked too and even if it is it might not belong to the friend who reckons theirs is missing.

A new point of view, to help you cope with the guilt-trips,manipulation, and downright poisonous behaviour you're dealing with.

I personally think you'd be letting your sister down if you gave in now. If we take her stories at face value, we have a catalogue of irresponsibility.

*She didn't look after the birds- there was no water or food for them, and 12 died. They could have died from something else, but it's remarkably co-incidental, isn't it? At the very least, being hungry and thirsty doesn't help one's immune system fight off illness, does it? (How easy is it to recognise illness in birds, anyway? Would you and your husband say it's possible to recognise ill birds and call a vet?)

*Then, she apparently borrows an incredibly expensive piece of kit (the dock) from her friend. She forgets to collect the dock when she leaves.

*Then, she forgets to come back and get it for three months. And apparently has been fobbing off the owner all this time.

*She finally starts attempting to sort this all out in November. By which time, it is pretty impossible to sort out. Memories are faded, forensic linking and all that jazz are no longer possible, and if it's been sold on, it's long gone.

What will happen next if you pay for this one? She'll keep on acting like this, is what.

As you might be picking up, I knew a girl like this. I bet she still hasn't changed, either.

I suspect that if your claim is settled, then your sis will be asking how much the cheque was for and wanting some of the money to replace the ipod-dock.

Seriously I can't believe you're even contemplating claiming for the Ipod dock. Have you asked your insurance company how that would affect your premium?

Anyway from what you said I doubt the insurance company would pay out for it. Not only did you not give permission for the item to be in your house, you don't even know what the item is.
If your sister is able to tell you how much this dock allegedly is, she should be providing you with the full make/model number, as well as a receipt from the 'friend', which you would need to give to the insurance company anyway.

It's horrible to say but the girl is shameless. And what does the friend have to say about all this? You should be talking to them directly. I know that if I went to a party hosted at someone's house and lost something there there is no way in hell I would blame the absent homeowner.

TBH I´m hoping that the insurance say no & that´s the decision made.

OP, you should not even be thinking about it.

Ray, have you given the police and insurers the link to this thread ?

You should as it explains everything in great detail.

Something else just occurred to me. If your half-sister is the manipulative, mendacious, toxic little shit she appears to be, it's quite possible that the docking station was left at your house on the first night, then nicked on the second by someone else. And she's been weaving a whole tissue of lies with the original lender for 3 months to cover up the fact that one of her other nasty friends has half-inched it. Now she's under pressure, so she's trying to make you get a new one.

While the third party might be in on this bullshit, the fact that you've never once spoken to this person who supposedly left it there says there could be more people than just you being dicked around here.

Yup, that´s weird, isn´t it?

Because if the sister wasn´t being much help, why didn´t they phone OP asap about it so that they could sort it out themselves with police/insurance whatever.

Dont get me wrong i dont actually WANT my insurers to pay out for the ipod docking station at all and they havent confirmed they will definatley pay out for my stuff. If i hear back from them and they wont even cover my missing items there will be no way in hell i will be replacing her Friends ipod docking station through my insurance or otherwise. Infact even if my insurers cover my Items and not the ipod docking station i will not be paying out for it. It was NOT my responsibility and NOT in my house when i returned from holiday i dont understand what it is about that that she doesnt understand.

I am hoping they will cover it (my items) because although i have left her in charge she has allowed them into my home without my knowledge or consent and they have stolen from me. The police say it is classed as a burglary so hoping they will.

I think she is asking for the police ref as she doent believe i have called the police. well she will soon realise i have when she gets a visit asking for ALL her friends names and addresses. she will not be able to lie as i copied the pics to my computer so if she says there was less then 11-15 people i can give the police the photos.

Come on then guys i want to hear all your letters. May give me some ideas if i do decide to write her a letter to get my feelings out without exploding.

Ray - I have committed the sin of not reading the whole thread (though in my defence, I have read 5 pages...)

But just to comment on your last post, that is clearly a pack of lies. This is how it goes if you lend expensive equipment: "you can use it at this party because I am here to keep an eye on it. I am not leaving it here when I am not here." To suggest that it happened the other way round is clearly total bullshit to try and cover up being caught out.

jessiealbright - your post of 12.55 is good... I can hear it being spoken by Judge Judy in my head

Ray - why don't you write a letter here stating EXACTLY how you feel about it all, holding nothing back? It would be v cathartic for you, even though you'd never be able to send it!

RAy even if your insurers do pay for the dock then there is no way that you should be reimbursing your sis / friend without proof of purchase of the original item.

thenightsky Thank you! :o

Ok:

1: There are places that hire out Ipod docking systems. This is one of them: www.cambridgesound.co.uk/Stage_PA___Electrics.html. Specifically for parties. So I'd check that angle out as well, in case that's how they have tried to deceive you.

2: If this friend of your sister's had left their own ipod docking sytem behind they would have contacted you themselves long before now.

3: I suspect that the police only suggested you speak to your insurers about the ipod docking system as they thought that would be the best way of sorting the situation out amicably. You should, of course, disagree with them. Putting in a claim for the ipod docking system admits liability, lets the sister think she can attempt to get money out of you again and affects your insurance premiums.

Ray, you should give the pics anyway as these are the suspects for the theft.

Personally I would not claim for the docking station even if the insurers will pay up. Wouldn't this affect your future premiums.

It is in NO way your responsibility to replace/pay for via insurance claim or not.
The friend needs to claim. End of.

Definitely pass the photos onto the police and tell your sis that you're not claiming for the iPod docking station on your insurance (don't tell her you've asked), just say 'NO'. Regardless of whether your policy would cover it or not, why should your premiums increase because her friend lost something when they shouldn't have been in your house anyway. They should have their own insurance (that's what it's for, especially if you buy something that portable and expensive!).

DH left his guitar on a train and it was taken from the carriage. We got off the stop before the terminating station and staff were waiting for the train to arrive to get on and look for it. Basically someone must have just walked off with it when they saw we left it behind. We didn't get in a stress with First Great Western, demanding they pay for it as it was on their train - we claimed on our insurance as we were stupid enough to forget it