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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not replace something that i havent seen

490 replies

Ray81 · 15/11/2010 09:26

We went on holiday back in August and my sister who is 18 looked after my house.
She had a party which she didnt ask to have and evidently one of her friends left a Ipod docking station here.

She asked me for it last week and i told her there was nothing like that in my house (although didnt know what i was looking for tbh). Now i had a real blitz when i got back from hols and was alittle worried i had thrown it out by mistake, i do tend to just go into auto pilot when clearing out. I said to her perhaps i had and thinking it would be £20 or so that i would replace it. I only said that because i couldnt be sure i hadnt thrown it away ifswim. Well she has come back to me saying it is £350 and showing me what it looked like. I havent seen it and have looked ALL over my house.

I havent got that amount of money and i dont think i should replace something that for one i honestly cannot remember seeing and 2 that wasnt my responsibility in the first place.

So AIBU to say NO i am not replacing it. surely if something is that expensive you shouldnt even take it out of your own home and be that careless with it. Whats to say he hasnt left it somewhere else and my house was the last time he could remember seeing it.

OP posts:
FakePlasticTrees · 18/11/2010 07:54

Text back "the police reference number is xxxx, your friend needs to contact her own insurance as property that doesn't belong to me, that I have never been in possession of won't be covered on my policy, odd you think it would be."

Oh and Ray, I really hope you've talked to them about the animal cruelity. The docking station is just 'stuff', they lost their lives because your sister couldn't be arsed to look after them.

shongololo · 18/11/2010 07:59

have you considered what this big claim is going to do to your premiums in the future.....?

I agree, do NOT claim for the ipod dock. ridiculous. STop being a doormat to your family and start feeling the OUTRAGE at how much this has cost you - not just the money, which is now 3k+ (birds, ring, necklass, money) but also the emotional cost to you and your hubby.

Your family has really done a number on you psychologically - do you feel they will withdraw love and support from you if you ever say no? Do you feel the need for these toxic connections because you feel you are not worth loving? Go talk to your auntie, who sounds like the only sane one in the bunch. STop listeing to the endless drumming of justifications for your sister.

DooinMeCleanin · 18/11/2010 08:05

onceamai makes a very good point about the receipt and the price. I am thinking this docking station either does not exist or was a hell of a lot cheaper than £350.

I am looking at docking stations atm. Fairly decent ones as I want a good sound quality and an alarm feature but I want a portable one. They are around £100 - £150 for top of the range portable ones. The more expensive ones are huge are sound systems rather than portable speakers, they are not the sort of thing you would just carry around to a party.

docking stations

hifi with ipod dock the kind of thing you would carry to a party? I think not.

FakePlasticTrees · 18/11/2010 08:05

Actually, correction, that text would read as if you could claim on your insurance, you would go with - "The police number is XXX. I won't be contacting my insurers about the docking station. You borrowed it, you lost it, your problem."

Bloodymary · 18/11/2010 08:11

Totally agree with the above Ray81.
Stay strong.
You are in the right, and they are so in the wrong!!!

PfftTheMagicDragon · 18/11/2010 08:14

You cannot claim for the docking station surely? It isn't yours, you didn't pay for it! SO your insurance company will be having none of that.

diddl · 18/11/2010 08:21

Do not claim for the Ipod thing.

You have no idea of it´s value/if it exists/it is not yours.

So, your sister is upset as she thought she could trust her friends.

How about you thought that you could trust your bloody sister?

camdancer · 18/11/2010 08:31

I don't understand why this is all coming up now. This all happened in August. Why is everyone getting worked up about it now after not bothering for months? Does someone want some extra Christmas money?

Snorbs · 18/11/2010 08:37

Give her the crime reference number but as for the question over whether you're going to replace the sodding docking station the simple answer is "No because I didn't lose it."

One thing about Dsis's story is that the docking station (assuming it even exists, of course) was actually left in her care by the friend. So if anyone should be replacing it, it should be her.

Longtalljosie · 18/11/2010 08:37

"they are also saying it is funny how suddenly my stuff has gone missing"

Point out to them you had no need to check on your valuables before you found out strangers had been in your home without permission Angry

YeahBut · 18/11/2010 08:40

FFS, just reply with "Police ref: XXXX. I shall not be claiming on my insurance for an item I did not own, have no proof even existed and that was "lost" at a party I did not agree to DSis holding. I am sure police will be in touch regarding a list of those attending the party with regards to my stolen items."

Appletrees · 18/11/2010 08:54

This is a threat. They are playing chicken with you and trying to call your bluff. Don't give in. Give crime ref number and nothing else.

Appletrees · 18/11/2010 08:57

in fact don't even give teh crime ref number. ignore the text completely.

IGNORE IT

Appletrees · 18/11/2010 08:58

IGNORE IT RAY

this is bullshit and she's making it up

they are trying to see how far you'll go

let their next contact be with the police

Squitten · 18/11/2010 09:04

Seriously - you need to stop all contact with the lot of them. Don't know why you're talking to any of them about this - they are treating you like crap and you are letting them

Appletrees · 18/11/2010 09:05

And i would like to say Ray that I LIKE the anger in your last post.

bintofbohemia · 18/11/2010 09:25

Ray81 I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this shite.

Can I just get this straight, your younger sister who has caused all this aggro, is she your half sister from your mother and stepfather?

I only ask because it sounds similar to my situation in that I have a younger half sister who despite behaving like a selfish, spoilt, rude little madam can do no wrong in the eyes of my father and SM. I've been blamed for all kinds of things even they've actually been down to her, she never has to take responsibility for anything.

Unfortunately, this will never change, they have made their new family unit and pulled up the drawbridge around them. You need to protect yourself - it sounds like at least you have an aunt on your side so that is positive.

If your family are anything like mine they will just go on wringing you dry and never ever stop. You need to step back, what they are doing to you is beyond awful.

And please do not knacker your insurance policy to claim for this fricking dockign station!

I really hope this gets resolved and you can get your stuff back/recompense. But do protect yourself from these people or this will go on for your whole life.

Longtalljosie · 18/11/2010 09:29

There's no point withholding the crime reference number. You'll just give them the opportunity to think you're making it up. Supply it, and ask for theirs in return. I wonder if they'll be able to?

MaudOHara · 18/11/2010 09:31

FakePlasticTrees is right - the response - "The police number is XXX. I won't be contacting my insurers about the docking station. You borrowed it, you lost it, your problem."

is excellent - gives them the information and sums up the situation - this is not your problem

QuintessentialShadows · 18/11/2010 09:31

NO DONT TEXT THAT!

QuintessentialShadows · 18/11/2010 09:34

I may reply saying "yeah i;ll replace it when you replace my ring neckless and money".

Do not do this.

Your sister may take that as proof you are holding the docking station random.

Tell her "Sister, both the docking station, the money, and the jewellery, is YOUR responsibility to replace, along with the life of 12 birds to the value of of £6k, as all was lost while you were responsible for its safekeeping".

DooinMeCleanin · 18/11/2010 09:35

I wouldn't text anything. Why do they need your crime refernce number, which surely relates to your ring and your cash?

They need to report the docking station stolen themselves, which they will (not) recieve their own crime reference number for and can claim on their own insurance (who have a good laugh and then shred their claim)

QuintessentialShadows · 18/11/2010 09:35

Your sister may take that as proof you are holding the docking station ransom. Not random

Appletrees · 18/11/2010 09:37

I agree with this. You haven't reported the docking station stolen so they don't need the crime reference number. who wants it anyway and why? So they can get statements to add up? What kind of game are they playing? You deal with the police about your stuff, they deal with the police about their stuff. The docking station is nothing to do with you.

ASecretLemonadeDrinker · 18/11/2010 09:40

OP - has anyone in your family still got keys? I am wondering if one of them came and took the items recently. God, I am so mad for you!