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Upsetting but please read and support if you can

223 replies

disgustedbythisman · 12/11/2010 16:15

While idling around on barking American websites laughing at "fundies" (provoked by the thread about bates/duggars on here), I found out to my horror that one of the craziest and most destructive of "Christian" parenting gurus has been giving seminars to UK parents via a network of sister churches which has branches in several nations

his name is Tedd Tripp and he advocates the most heartbreakingly cruel and abusive punishment and humiliation of children right from tiny babyhood SadSad

I am angry that this man can be thrown up at UK parents as an example and as someone to emulate. I realise it is probably pointless but I felt I had to do something, so I have emailed the church in bristol that had him last year, and cc'd it to the sister church in noth carolina where he is speaking this year

I would go along and egg the bastard, but I can't afford the air fare Wink

Here is my email, if you would like to could you add your own voice of protest? I don't want this filth in the UK or anywhere near children.

Dear Sir/Madam

I write with reference to the planned ?Tedd Tripp Seminar? of 12-13th November in Apex North Carolina, hosted by your sister church, and also to the seminar hosted by you on Saturday 21st March 2009 (as detailed on your weblog).

I note with great consternation that during these seminars Pastor Tripp is afforded the opportunity to address parents and parishioners in respect of his views regarding Biblical child-rearing. As I am sure you are aware, Pastor Tripp's infamous book "Shepherding A Child's Heart" is a controversial work which advocates practices many, even among American fundamentalist Christian groups, regard as extremely destructive, abusive and cruel. Pastor Tripp openly champions the use of humiliating, severe and repeated punishment even of very young infants. To illustrate his well-known advice to parents of young children, here are a few titbits from his aforementioned book:

Page 105 "The child is a sinner. There are things within the heart of the sweetest little baby that, allowed to blossom and grow to fruition, will bring about eventual destruction. The rod functions in this context."

Page 106: "The spanking process drives foolishness from the heart of a child. Confrontation with the immediate and undeniably tactile sensation of a spanking renders an implacable child sweet."

Page 154: "When your child is old enough to resist your directives, he is old enough to be disciplined. Rebellion can be something as simple as an infant struggling against a diaper change or stiffening out his body when you want him to sit on your lap."

If you have read and considered Pastor Tripp's writings and are still prepared to defend his links with your church and allow his attitudes to influence the families of your congregation I would be very interested to receive an explanation of your reasoning.

I wonder also whether you are aware of the law in the United Kingdom which states that hitting a child is a common assault, and that the statutory defence of ?reasonable punishment? does not and will not apply in cases where the child has been left with marks or bruises, as detailed on the Children's Legal Centre website:

"physical punishment will be considered "unreasonable" if it leaves a mark on the child or if the child is hit with an implement such as a cane or a belt." (Section 58 of the Children Act 2004)

In recent years there have been several high-profile cases in this country of children being removed from their parents? care and of parents being prosecuted for using disciplinary methods far less draconian and violent than those recommended by Pastor Tripp in his book.

It is my view that your hosting of last year's seminar, and of your continued links with his ministry, constitute an effective incitement to parents and carers to break UK law in the name of their Christian beliefs. The information on your weblog alone is sufficient to lead British families towards this toxic and abusive philosophy. I suggest that this is unacceptable and would urge you in the strongest terms to reconsider your position and sever your affiliation to Pastor Tripp and his organisation.

Yours faithfully

Mrs disgustedbythisman

OP posts:
3littlefrogs · 12/11/2010 20:49

History is full of examples of sick, evil people influencing whole communities to behave in shocking, inhuman ways.

This man is clearly enjoying the thought of spanking small children and encouraging others to think it is "normal" and appropriate.

Makes my skin crawl.

This needs to be widely publicised.

choufleur · 12/11/2010 20:49

have to think about how to word an email to them, why they gave someone a visa to enter the UK (presumably to work - i guess he gets paid for seminars) who encourages parents to break UK law.

ShadeofViolet · 12/11/2010 20:54

Why not set up a FB group against it? Its a good way of getting things out there even if it is the 'work of the devil' in lots of peoples eyes.

BarnMummy · 12/11/2010 20:55

Someone asked what Christian MNers felt. I was brought up in a Christian household, and continue in my faith, with my DSs being taught Christian beliefs (although my DH is not religious).

My views on this revolting man are the same as everyone else's - this is not Christianity as I understand it, indeed I would say this is not humanity as I understand it. I have seen first hand the parenting style of a right-wing American Christian family (which I found shocking at the time - the children were my friends) but I am quite certain that they too would be as horrified as me at this hideous distortion of "Christianity".

LoveRedShoes · 12/11/2010 20:56

Sorry if this is in there, but am in middle of bedtime duty and one handed at the mo. Is he due to come over sometime soon or in Uk now?

choufleur · 12/11/2010 20:57

Just searched on Facebook. Very depressing that there are so many positive groups about Tedd Tripp

GoingToBonnieDoon · 12/11/2010 21:00

I've emailed The Bristol Evening News and BBC Bristol, hope that helps.
The thought of hitting a baby makes me feel sick.

LadyInPink · 12/11/2010 21:01

Anyone who reads that book and agrees with Tripp are totally deluded. The "great" comments he received from his seminar in March must be from very brainwashed, robotic people.

This book must definitely be banned as it can only inflict harm, hope Amazon agree.

I agree with everyone of here that it made me feel sick and quite ill just reading it, yeuch.

wouldliketoknow · 12/11/2010 21:08

that is not christianity, that's a excuse to be an abuser, an 8 month old, deceiving his mother, punished until he became sweet, or too sore to be hold, good lord!

well done op, for taking the first steps, now how do we get this rolling...
links, please.

choufleur · 12/11/2010 21:17

I still don't know what to say to the home office. Can someone help me?

jybay · 12/11/2010 21:17

Good for you for protesting, disgusted. Can I suggest contacting the NSPCC too? More likely to follow it up than social services I'd think.

Might be worth a Facebook group too - I know FB is not everyone's cup of tea but it's a good way of contacting lots of people quickly

TheHouseofMirth · 12/11/2010 21:20

Why don't we all go on Amazon and "review" it?

droves · 12/11/2010 21:20

If you look at his publications, facebook pages ect....they are all self promoted .
Bit like a cult imo.

VERY NASTY CHILD ABUSING CULT.

droves · 12/11/2010 21:23

THoM I did already as "disgusted parent".

Will try to again as .... "TrippIsSatan".

Grin
choufleur · 12/11/2010 21:25

THere are so many versions on amazon that's it's difficult

droves · 12/11/2010 21:25

Cant do it as is linked to email.....

TWITTER WAR ANYONE?

droves · 12/11/2010 21:28

Perhaps we could alert the" association of child abuse lawyers" ACAL, and see what they make of it.

they just had a case against catholic church for priests sexually abusing boys in 70S & 80S.

They`d know what to do about him.

choufleur · 12/11/2010 21:34

Twitter for someone blogging for them

twitter.com/#!/Shepherdblog

choufleur · 12/11/2010 21:35

And shepherd press's facebook page

www.facebook.com/pages/Shepherd-Press/130961703608780?ref=ts

TanteAC · 12/11/2010 21:39

This is horrifying. I googled the book and have found so many reviews which are glowing with praise that I actually feel sick. Sad

Came across another pair in the same vein: Michael and Debi Pearl. Am aghast (have only ever used that word as a piss take before, but genuinely mean it now!)

Of all the shit - horrifying, abusive, sexist shit - this bit sickened me the most:

(have edited a bit, but only because it is v long, haen't changed message)

"Dear Pearls,

I am a pastor?s wife and have a question for you. Is it right to spank a 7-month-old for crying when put down for bed? I grew up with just ignoring the child, thus training them that they will not get their way. My husband wants it to stop all together. I know all the verses for training a child, but I am not sure how to approach this situation. I know you will give me a straight answer.

Charity

Debi Answers

Dear Mama,

Different families feel differently about this. Most babies quickly learn to adapt. Train your baby to become familiar with a special blanket or soft toy that she gets when she goes to bed. One of our friends uses white, soft, worn-out pillow cases so that she gets a fresh clean one each day. Babies find comfort in the familiar. Also, they like to know that they are not alone or abandoned. So keep a light on, a ticking clock in the room, or their door open so they can hear noises from the other room. Daddy needs to be in charge, and you need to learn to trust and honor his judgment. If you don?t, then the children will never trust and honor you. He is the head, and you are the heart of the home. Let the head decide, and the heart makes those decisions sweeter.

(Shock basically, no, but if your husband still wants to, then you have to go along with it!)

Debi Pearl

Mike adds his two cents:

The above question is loaded. Since we do not know your attitudes or the details of your circumstances, it is impossible to give a yes or no answer. But I do caution: A 7-month-old is too young to be spanked as such?too young to be punished. They do not have any understanding of good and evil (Deut 1:39; Is 7:15-16; Romans 9:11) and cannot reason weighty matters. But the 7-month-old is already learning the dark art of self-will, and must be wisely, gently, and firmly constrained to yield to authority.

Arrange circumstances so as to lull the child to sleep in a peaceful and natural manner. Don?t keep her up until she is exhausted. Don?t try to put her to sleep when her heart and respiration are racing from excitement. Be consistent in the details of how she is put to sleep each time. Create a thirty-minute ?unwinding? ritual that ends with laying her down to sleep. Once you condition her to expect to yield to your overtures, she will lie down and sleep with only minimal suggestion, and even in more distracting circumstances.

If the child has been mistrained, or if you have failed to provide a good prelude to sleep, and the child rises up to fight and resist, you should evaluate your whole procedure so as to improve your pre-sleep ritual for tomorrow night. But for the moment, you must constrain the child to obey authority and remain lying down. As a last resort, you may have to prove the power of your word by enforcing it with one or two stinging licks (applied with a small flexible switch) to the child?s leg that says to the child, ?There is no reward for getting up; Mama means business; she is not going to give over to my demands; the path to greatest pleasure is to go to sleep; there is no alternative; my parents always get their way; what can I say? Good night.?

Commands are not negotiable; authority must be obeyed. The soul of the child needs that kind of authority in her life to be stable emotionally and to develop a will to accept discipline."

Bloody hell! Sorry, I know this thread is about the other book but often some extremist sites cite both books and websites in one.

Will sign any petition against any message sch as this being spread, especially to more vulnerable parents, pssibly.

Well done for raising this, OP.

TheHouseofMirth · 12/11/2010 21:40

There may be lots of versions on Amazon but there are also lots of us! I've done one, it's quick and easy. And very satisfying.

exexpat · 12/11/2010 22:00

Has anyone else noticed that Grace Church Bristol, according to its website, holds its Sunday services on the premises of Bristol Metropolitan Academy. Doubly disturbing that a state school's premises should be used to spread that kind of thinking.

Perhaps letters to the head of the school, head of the Cabot Learning Federation (group of academies), as well as the Bristol city council's education department could be in order to lobby them to cancel the contract allowing this church to use the school?

PrincessBoo · 12/11/2010 22:09

:( and Angry at TanteAC 's findings. Vile, vile stuff. Makes all that Gina Ford debate seem utterly ridiculous when compared with that doesn't it?

Briar · 12/11/2010 22:12

Just emailed local paper...not sure if it will do any good but thought it was worth a try.

droves · 12/11/2010 22:16

A school building? being used to promot child abuse?. OMFG.

ok list of letters .

NSPCC.
ACAL
BRISTOL COUNCIL
AMAZON
HOMEOFFICE
Police ?

What about Bristols councellors MPS?

anyone else?