"Hot liquid will burn."

[ChristmasTrulyReigns]

Will it?

Will it?

Will it?

WILL IT?

Who knew a visit to the loo on Sebenhams could raise my temperature so much?

Gah.

(the OP was actually irritated by the fact that the only liquid in the loo was water. If the notice was correct, someone had better warn the fire brigade not to keep putting the stuff on fires! )

OMG Badgers!

I read on a Black and Decker hot air gun - the type designed to strip paint.......

'Do not use to dry hair'

No shit Sherlock

My favourite is variation on the train 'take care' announcement - in an old train timetable booklet, the small print advised commuters to:

Make sure the platform is adjacent to the train before alighting.

Steps off train unawares

weeeeeeeeeee smack

My mother has a nice line in notices round the home. There's one above the old doorbell saying "This is not a doorbell". The effect is Magritte-lite.

There's also an old headboard propped against the wall in the spare bedroom with a sign on it - "Ignore this!".

altinkum - scold or scald ?

In the Lakeside branch of Decathlon, the French sports and camping goods retailer, signs everywhere: 'For each torch brought, take another one.' Which soudns like a rather literal translation from the French equivalent phrase. Anyway, I whipped out a pen and scratched out each superfluous 'r' in 'brought'. A young Sales Assistant eyed me with suspicion, but didn't question what I was doing. The DCs hid in a display tent; they're used to Mummy's strange mania.

On a whiteboard outside the Reception classrooms at DD2's school: 'Parental Volunteer's welcome next Wednesday.' I rubbed away the 'al' and the apostrophe when I though no one was looking. A very shame faced TA came out and said "I've always found apostrophes difficult."

This thread is hilarious! I wish it was on Facebook so I could click "like" on everything lol

There used to be a sign on the door to my floor at college, I used to spend hours looking at it because it puzzled me so much:

If you are not a fashion student you can only use the toilets on this floor.

I felt sorry for the students at the other side of the college who had to go all the way over to the art block and up two flights of stairs to use the fashion toilets...

Dd's sleeping tabblets say 'may cause drowsieness'

I've just seen a blinder on one of those electronic matrix road signs - six inches of snow all around us and:

'Beware - road may be icy in areas'

Yeah, thanks for that.

The best sign I've ever seen (I took a photo, but can't find it sadly) was on a van in Whitby. It said: "No tools kept in this vehicle overnight, except Kevin."

When we were students, DH wrote a sign saying: "Baz Luhrmann says wash" over our bathroom door. Wish I still had that sign.

<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=i9.photobucket.com/albums/a94/Diaperblast/receive_bacon.jpg&imgrefurl=scheisskerl.blogspot.com/2007/08/receive-bacon.html&usg=__ebtBi2hzIiFBjYPkNCIb4oI664U=&h=191&w=320&sz=77&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=Cxc67TT8eHV8cM:&tbnh=109&tbnw=183&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dbacon%2Bhand%2Bdryer%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26sa%3DN%26biw%3D1280%26bih%3D685%26tbs%3Disch:1&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=983&vpy=204&dur=1736&hovh=152&hovw=256&tx=225&ty=80&ei=Fhb5TLnINInMhAe-mPXtCA&oei=Fhb5TLnINInMhAe-mPXtCA&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=18&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">Best sign ever.

Not a sign but still funny.

failblog.org/2010/02/01/kids-show-fail/?from=recMap2

On holiday this year we saw a sign that said please do not introduce croissants to the toaster, this prompted DS1 to stand with a croissant saying toaster this is croissant, croissant this is toaster much to the amusement of fellow holiday makers.

We did how ever feel sorry for the drinks machine that had a sign on it saying this machine is out of work (wonder if it had a family to support)

Brazil nuts 'may contain nuts'.

In a shoe shop window "Buy one, get one free"

'Careful Doors swing both ways'

Nice to have such sexually confident doors in work.

I always smile when I read the label on the kids' big soft toys that says 'Do not iron' imagining some fuckwit trying to iron teddies and pram toys.

Maybe it's less obvious to others but I find all the labels on baby clothes telling me to keep them away from fire a bit odd.
I wasn't planning on putting my 6 month old anywhere flames could get at him...
Perhaps it's aimed at smokers?

I really don't understand 'Smoking Kills' etc, is there anybody that really doesn't know that....

"Smoking kills" is to remind you and try ot make you think about it every time you take one out of the packet. It's not particularly funny to me.

Runaway your DS sounds very funny

Hello Mr Toaster, this is Ms Croissant, but sssssh because the management odn't want you to meet her, she's got a baaaaaad reputation.

At Morrisons there's a sign by the Parent and Child parking which says "Please do not abuse this facility."

Of course I take great delight in walking past saying things like "Call yourself a facility? You're the worst facility I ever saw."

The sign in a university that said;

Russian Studies - Up the Steppes

Loved that one.

At Waitrose the speedy tills actually say '10 items or fewer'.

I had a colleague whose son once ironed his shirt while wearing it as he was in a rush He is married with children now....
In our Christmas play at school we also have a lamb which gambles...should a lowly TA point this out?

"Please do not throw money into the pond"

Really?

Who is doing this?