"Hot liquid will burn."

[ChristmasTrulyReigns]

Will it?

Will it?

Will it?

WILL IT?

Who knew a visit to the loo on Sebenhams could raise my temperature so much?

Gah.

A local [http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01211/2712signs5_1211111i.jpg&imgrefurl=www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/signlanguage/3917183/The-best-of-Sign-Language.html%3Fimage%3D8&usg=__5_1fYUiw3INic6m7WgwyB4h6IcM=&h=400&w=551&sz=46&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=qB9fOOCVz1_Z7M:&tbnh=136&tbnw=187&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsecret%2Bnuclear%2Bbunker%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D599%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C9&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=328&vpy=253&dur=2360&hovh=191&hovw=264&tx=99&ty=118&ei=1JndTJ__HcWAhAfB3KzTDA&oei=1JndTJ__HcWAhAfB3KzTDA&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=12&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0&biw=1024&bih=599 favourite]]

opps
<a class="break-all" href="http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?imgurl=i.telegraph.co.uk/telegraph/multimedia/archive/01211/2712signs5_1211111i.jpg&imgrefurl=www.telegraph.co.uk/travel/picturegalleries/signlanguage/3917183/The-best-of-Sign-Language.html%3Fimage%3D8&usg=__5_1fYUiw3INic6m7WgwyB4h6IcM=&h=400&w=551&sz=46&hl=en&start=0&zoom=1&tbnid=qB9fOOCVz1_Z7M:&tbnh=136&tbnw=187&prev=/images%3Fq%3Dsecret%2Bnuclear%2Bbunker%26um%3D1%26hl%3Den%26client%3Dsafari%26sa%3DX%26rls%3Den%26biw%3D1024%26bih%3D599%26tbs%3Disch:10%2C9&um=1&itbs=1&iact=hc&vpx=328&vpy=253&dur=2360&hovh=191&hovw=264&tx=99&ty=118&ei=1JndTJ__HcWAhAfB3KzTDA&oei=1JndTJ__HcWAhAfB3KzTDA&esq=1&page=1&ndsp=12&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:0&biw=1024&bih=599" rel="nofollow" target="_blank">here

be alert
the world needs more lerts

On Bassett's Liquorice Allsorts:

Contents may vary

southeastastra

On a top I once bought DH: 'Do not iron while wearing'

oops - meant not gin - but cheers!

never mind pombears, why don't we have a gin emoticon?

Has anyone else noticed the boxes that new trainers come in that have a sign on them with "AVERAGE CONTENTS 2" ??
What happens if you get a non-average box???

Thank you Lunatic - I went back and amended the signs.

(with stickers though - too wimpy to do real graffiti)

I love the fact that several supermarket websites can tell me that avocados are suitable for vegetarians but can't tell me whether a particular cheese or a prepared dish is.

We know that avocados are fecking suitable for fecking vegetarians, you eejits!

I have just cried myself through this thread! My OH is looking at me like I am a total loon!! Thanks all :)

There's a sign at work that says "Gloves must be worn in when using this equipment". Huh? I filled in the 'in'. Makes more sense now...

I am also one of those baffled/amused by 'alarmed' doors.

And DD's after-school club has signs up which say "Smile your on camera". They make my brain hurt and I sooooooooooooo want to correct them but then I'd be caught on camera doing so....

Another sign at work said "PLEASE INSURE THIS DOOR IS CLOSED PROPERLY". So of course I had to change it to 'ensure'. I've written it out in caps so you can see that it was tricky to turn the I into an E - very short cross-strokes - you can hardly see the change but I feel better!

Oh dear, I may have ishoos!

Someone I worked with always had a post-it note on his desk with this written on it: drink water. He always wore headphones, too. We used to joke that they were playing a looped message: breathe in... breathe out... and in...

Don't buy a sharpie, they claim to be permanent, but evry sodding night I have to write her name back onto the lunchbox and grey tights cos the damn thing washes out.
(well done fairyliquid and surf washing liquid)

"This road is liable to flood."

NO IT BLOODY ISN'T.

It's likely to flood or liable to flooding.

How about "Toilet out of order. Please use floor below."

I once bought a small box of Paxo stuffing and it had a photo of a stuffed chicken on the front.In small writing it said - serving suggestion only - chicken not included.

shoe box.

average contents 2.

i was glad i had an average one and didn't have to hop.

I can't be certain but I'm guessing that the amusing and sarcastic signs are Australian? Though the Gandalf one must be kiwi!

We saw a huge billboard in the states that said 'If you are looking for a sign from God - this is it.'

Genius.

On the bottle:

Medised
for children

On the label:

May cause drowsiness. If affected do not drive or operate machinery and avoid alcholic drink

We once bought some fairy lights that said on the box: for indoor or outdoor use only.