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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think Ed Milliband should have married his partner before having their 2nd child?

349 replies

Gooftroop · 09/11/2010 10:53

One child, fine. Maybe it was a surprise, these things happen, marriage is so yesterday, no problem. But to go on building a family without legally committing himself to his partner ... I am unimpressed. AIBU?

OP posts:
Vallhala · 09/11/2010 10:54

Yes.

DuelingFanjo · 09/11/2010 10:54

YABU and you probably know it. Why is marriage in any way important? If it's important for you then do it but it's not something everyone wants to do.

winnybella · 09/11/2010 10:54
Hmm Biscuit
Vallhala · 09/11/2010 10:54

As in, yes, you are being unreasonable.

Very unreasonable, in fact.

niceday · 09/11/2010 10:55

Why do you care?

Jaquelinehyde · 09/11/2010 10:55

YABVU

Why should someone have to be married?

As long as they are in a stable loving relationship, who cares whether they have a certificate legally confirming this.

And for all you know she has turned him down, why is the woman always made out to be the weak partner waiting to be married.

ZacharyQuack · 09/11/2010 10:55

ha ha nice try

toddlerama · 09/11/2010 10:55

In order to protect his children and partner should anything awful happen, my understanding is that marriage is the most watertight solution. Correct me if I'm wrong, I may well have misunderstood the law / consequences.

bunnymother · 09/11/2010 10:55

Yes. It is none of your business what he and his partner choose to do or not do. I would query why you care about others' lifestyle choices.

2shoes · 09/11/2010 10:55

yabu
I am old fashioned and believe in marriage before children, but I fully accept that not everyone else does

Hassled · 09/11/2010 10:56

Yes, YABU. You haven't explained why you think this at all. What do you think marriage will give his baby that cohabitation can't give the baby?

DuelingFanjo · 09/11/2010 10:56

they should discuss this on that Matthew Wright programme some time.

loonyrationalist · 09/11/2010 10:56

YABVVU

I am dissapointed that he seems to be bowing to pressure to get married it is obviously not important to either of them; so why expect them to go through a meaningless (to them) ceremony for a piece of paper to satisfy the tabloids basically: bonkers.

Fibilou · 09/11/2010 10:57

I would never have had a child outside marriage, marriage is hugely important to me and I cannot understand how it is considered more of a commitment than a child.

However that it my opinion. Everyone feels differently and if Ed Milliband and his partner do not want t get married then that is their business and certainly does not affect how I think of him as a politician

So yes, from another pro-marriage person, YABU

motherinferior · 09/11/2010 10:57

She may, you know, be one of those women who don't want to get married and therefore turns down her partner's generous offers of matrimony.

We do exist, you know. I'm fending Mr Inferior off with a pointy stick, personally.

Hassled · 09/11/2010 10:58

toddlerama - marriage is certainly the easiest way to protect the rights/welfare of each party and any children. But it's by no means the only way. I do agree that non-married couples should sort out wills and make damned sure they're both on the deeds of any property they own.

Original poster
Gooftroop · 09/11/2010 10:59

First off, I don't care THAT much. I'm not tearing my hair out in fury.

But I do think I'm allowed to care a little bit about someone setting out to be prime minister.

OP posts:
GypsyMoth · 09/11/2010 10:59

Maybe they took one ook at the relationships threads here on MN and decided 'no'..........enough to put anyone off getting married reading about the crappy husbands many MN er's have!!

motherinferior · 09/11/2010 10:59

And a child is - well, it isn't, as we so frequently see but it ideally should be, IMO - a commitment to parenting, and to working out some deal of co-parenting. Usually. That's different from marriage, which is a commitment to another adult, who may or may not be the co-parent involved.

Unrulysun · 09/11/2010 11:00

YANBU as long as it is 1924 and you are either a. Blacking the lady's grate and toasting her muffins ready for the visiting hour or b. Working on your needlepoint while a member of the lower classes toasts your muffins and blacks your grate.

Which is it?

Eliza70 · 09/11/2010 11:00

If a relationship is going to break down it will regardless of bring married or not. Nothing is "watertight"; married people cheat, non married people cheat, married people change and so do non married people. It's a marriage, not a magic spell against things going wrong.

Jaquelinehyde · 09/11/2010 11:00

Why does a wanna be PM have to be married...I don't understand please explain?

sleepycat · 09/11/2010 11:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WanderingSheep · 09/11/2010 11:01

Why? What difference does it make? Surely having children is a much bigger commitment to a partner than marriage.

We planned to have DD1 when we were not married. No surprise about it. We knew we were committed to each other whether married or not!

We are married now, with DD2 on the way but we still would have planned DD2 whether we had managed to get married or not!

This isn't the 1940s and your views are very old fashioned!

TrillianAstra · 09/11/2010 11:01

What does marriage have to do with being a good Prime Minister?

The Prime Minister could be single or gay and it wouldn't make a difference as far as I am concerned.