to think Ed Milliband should have married his partner before having their 2nd child?

[Gooftroop]

One child, fine. Maybe it was a surprise, these things happen, marriage is so yesterday, no problem. But to go on building a family without legally committing himself to his partner ... I am unimpressed. AIBU?

another pro-marriage person here who think you're utterly bonkers

motherinferior - I'm not talking about the partner because she's not trying to be prime minister - she's not a public figure and I don't want to don my judgy pants about her. (But since you mentioned it, yep, I think she's wishy washy too for having a second child and not commiting to partner.)

My partner and I have 5 children and have been in a relationship for 16 years. I didn't realise that because we are not married then for the past 16 years we haven't been committed to each other.

Ah. That's me, then (not that I'm Justine Thornton, I should make clear). Wet and wishy washy. Me. And Seeker. And lots of others here.

Fine. You think we're wishy washy. I actually do not give a flying fandango what you think about my involvement with the father of my children. I do think that I am - as is he - utterly committed to my children, and that that is separate from a commitment to my co-parent insofar as our relationship differs from co-parenting.

I think YABU too.

So I presume you believe Justine is wet and wishy-washy? Or is it just him?

Either way I just don't get it. How can you judge either of them or both of them to be wish-washy or wet just because they have chosen so far not to get married?

Am I wishy-washy and wet along with large swathes of MN?

Why does beong married make you a better person?

YABU. None of your business. None of the country's business. If you want to base your vote on this when the next general election rolls round then that's your prerogative, but how does his marital status affect anyone really?

Wow, isn't time travel awesome?

I'm sure his partner and the kids are quite happy that he's committed to them. I don't see why you're worrying about other people's relationships at all.

YABU - I am very pro marriage and would not have had my children without being married but you cannot control what others do. I don't think it impacts at all on his suitability to be prime minister.

One of the benefits of being married is that it does give you a whole range of legal benefits easily. But you can provide for this in other ways such as drafting a will and life insurance.

And for our next time travel experience, we shall leave "1950s Mumsnet" and take a fascinating trip to "1970s Mumsnet".

We shall take a peek into threads such as:

"SHIT. Dropped a bottle of patchouli oil onto the sisal carpet. How do I get it out?"

"Free love - how do I explain to MIL?"

"OMG, look at this brand new invention - it is called a mooncup. Dare I try one?"

Sign up now. Fancy dress optional but not essential. Each poster shall receive a free cheesecloth smock.

The view that marriage is required when you have children is stuck in the 1950's, but then so is the law in this country. I didn't want to get married as I do not want to be Mrs anyone (am still Miss, which really confuses people when they see my wedding ring . But without marriage, our kids would be disadvantaged if we split or dh died. I would not get his pension, death in service etc and would also have difficulties with the house. In such a situation, my children would miss out. Similarly, as I now work part time my salary/future earnings/pension are significantly reduced - much as I resent it, the whole marriage thing does protect me to some extent.

Would be interested to see if/how finances can be managed without marriage in the event of death/separation and still provide for all concerned?

I was called a cheeky cow this morning. That's two insults before lunch - is this a record?

YABU

Being married doesn't make you better. I'm not pro-marriage. No problem with single parents, no problem with choosing not to get married to father of one's child. No problem with any of it.

Kind of think it looks a bit commitment phobic though to be expanding your family and not wanting to seal the deal and get married IF you happen to be running for prime minister. I do!

I suspect when David Cameron brings in his £20 per annum bonus for married couples that may just tip the balance for them and they will 'commit' to each other.

'Marriage shows commitment'

So what? Why do they need to 'show' they are committed to each other - it is their business - no one elses.

'Maybe question why you are so against marriage' - what makes you think they haven't done this in private.

(not picking on you Hammy - just the general tone of the thread!)

As Eliza said - it's marriage, not a magic spell!

Seeker! Don't you go anywhere. Sit down and have a nice glass of warm mead.

Gooftroop YABVU

amongst other things.

It would be 'wishy washy' if they got married just to please strangers who thought they 'should'.

Your logic baffles me...So for everyone else it is fine but if you are the leader of the opposition and you have children, then you must be married otherwise it is just all so wrong this makes no sense at all!!

What difference does running for prime minister make to someone's commitment to their partner? I'm not sure your job has anything to do with the level of commitment in your relationship.

Maybe the time travel has disorienting after-effects.

Do you think the incense will make the time-travel induced confusion better or worse, MmeL?

Damsel
Not sure, but it will get us into the right frame of mind.

I have made a prawn cocktail, poached a side of salmon and bought a frozen Black Forest Gateau which I am going to defrost overnight. I've also put on a record by that nice Mr Liberace -does anyone know why he's not married? He seems so good with colours.

I think it's a shame that people think so little of something as wonderful as declaring your love for one another by getting married. I have yet to meet a woman that would not want to get married to the love of their life. By the way, I'm not a God-botherer so this is not a religious issue for me.