to think Ed Milliband should have married his partner before having their 2nd child?

[Gooftroop]

One child, fine. Maybe it was a surprise, these things happen, marriage is so yesterday, no problem. But to go on building a family without legally committing himself to his partner ... I am unimpressed. AIBU?

by 'easier', I mean, you'll probably upset fewer people!

Grimma I'm not sure that being scared of organising a wedding doesn't show a great deal of sense.

I do love the idea that he's locked into a twilight world of saying he will get married soon, but never actually being able to have a wedding because of the enormity of choosing the food, the music, the venue etc for the wedding.

Maybe he's told the tabloids that he's 'getting around' to marriage to keep them off his back. He and his partner may have no intention of getting married or maybe they will when they decide the time is right, who knows?

I still think YABU :)

Or maybe he'll get married when he can decide between having a destination wedding in Bali or a knees up at the village hall.

Perhaps its not the enormity of it. More that it's a lot of effort to go to when you're really not fussed either way.

I don't see why he should be forced to put up with all sorts of unnecessary family/friends crap just because you (and the daily mail) think he should be married.

Personally don't understand why people have such a thing against marriage. It's a straightforward legal contract that tidies everything up if you own property jointly and have children together (prenups not withstanding).

What's the big deal?

It is nothing to do with us. We do not have the right to go into every politicians life, their living room, their bedroom, snoop in their rubbish.

These are two adults who have made the decision to form a family. It is no less a family because they do not have a piece of paper with "Marriage Certificate" on the top of it.

And the legal side of it - we should perhaps leave that to Mr Miliband's partner who is presumably more knowledgeable about law that we are, being a barrister and all.

maybe ed wants to get married but his partner doesn't. It's not just his decision.

marriage protects the financially weaker partner - usually the one gives up all her (usually her) income to raise the children.

if it is the financially stronger person that is declining to marry (it pretty much usually is) then IMO it's suspicious.

in the case of the millibands perhaps they are financial equals, who knows. But ig she becomes a SAHM she'd want to be married.

Damsel
No one's forcing the poor blokey to do anything. I asked an anonymous question on mumsnet whether people think it's a bit wet that he didn't bother to get married when having child number two. Not exactly a witch hunt. I can hardly be blamed for the guy being wet, commitment phobic and indecisive, now can I?

That's the point, Mmelindt. Whatever the Millibands do or don't do, my point was more general. Most of us aren't legal experts, and marriage offers legal protection in a way that simple cohabitation doesn't. You need to seek legal advice to get the same protection as you get automatically with marriage. So why not just get married and save the hassle?

Good for you unrulysun.

OP - finished with that blacking yet? :o

YABU - I don't see how it's more responsible to have one child and then get married before the second one? Just leave them to it. Marriage is not evidence of strength of character - quite the opposite in many cases as people get bundled into it by peer pressure. An older friend of mine who has never married her partner has some VERY well-rehearsed arguments as to why not, as she has had to defend this decision so many times. If you are married, have you ever had to explain why you made the decision to be such a conformist? :o Probably not.

How can you possibly assume that he is any of those things?

I'm a fan of marriage myself and was married before having my kids but what's that got to do with running the country?? Why is he "wet"? Why can't he be committed to his partner without a wedding? And why is he indecisive? Seems to me that they are getting along swimmingly just as they are...

Ooh sorry. I appear to have stepped into the 1800s.

Well, I used to earn more than DP and didn't want to get married. Now, because his salary went up and my earnings went down (on account of the recession, I'm a freelance journalist) I earn less than him and still don't want to get married.

So I have moved from being Suspicious to, presumably, Not Suspicious .

olderandwiser
Huh? Why would she take legal advice. She is a barrister, I presume she can look it up herself.

Please do not try and tell me that sorting out a will or whatever is necessary to protect the family if anything happens to him would be more work than organising a wedding.

And it is irrelevant because it is their decision to make and they obviously at this moment in time do not want to.

Oi! Unrulyson. Be a bit more careful. I almost had my eye out on that incense stick.

cupcakes
No, no. We have moved on to the 1970s. Grab yourself a kaftan and put a sunflower in your hair.

We're just about to get Equal Pay and everything.

Stop faffing around with incense sticks and pass the joint...

Lights joss stick, burns bra, reconsiders and digs out spare one.

None of our business is it? And I feel Justine may be the driving force behind it. The house in in her name, she hasn't named the father on the birth certificate, she has her own well paid career and Ed's parents had strong left wing & certainly feminist leanings on his mother's side.

She is putting herself in a strong position as a woman and for her children if anything should happen to their relationship.

Ed undoubtedly knows that and I'm sure they have taken the appropriate legal steps to provide for their children if the worse came to pass.

And unless they really feel like getting married, if they are both happy, keep things as they are.

Oh OK I've caught up.

Anuone for a vol-au-vent? Creamed chicken or mushroom.