DP being a complete and utter twat

[GenerallyPeedOff]

I've namechanged because all I seem to do on here lately is moan but DP is getting me down so much. His overall attitude just brings the mood of the entire house down. He's so bossy, whingy, grumpy, snappy, arsey - I just dread him coming home half the time.

The current big issue is the bathroom door. He said he wanted it closed AT ALL TIMES due to the cold weather. Fair enough but we're not perfect human beings and sometimes we all forget. So he wrote a huge note and cellotaped it to the bathroom door saying:

"MAKE SURE YOU SHUT THE DOOR AFTER USE AS IT IS NOW COLD WEATHER. KEEP DOOR CLOSED".

I mean ffs, way to go OTT. But still, we (me and the kids) forget now and again, especially when in a rush so he stands there and shouts "WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON IN THE BATHROOM??" and if anyone dare admit it, he stands there and frogmarches them back to the door so they can shut it. He had a huge go at DS this morning who was late for school so rushed out of the bathroom and forgot to close the retched door. I mean really, is it THAT important that we need to start screaming and shouting at a fucking KID about a bloody door??? If the kids don't admit to it, he'll look at me and say "were YOU the last person in the bathroom then??" I'm 30 ffs, not 8.

Another issue is the kids bedtimes. The kids share a bedroom and so when they go to bed at night there is a bit of talking - I can switch off to it but not DP, he sits there listening out for it and then starts fucking whinging "I CAN HEAR THEM!! THEY'RE TALKING AGAIN!!! YOU'RE GOING TO NEED TO GO AND SORT IT OUT!!!" like its a massive, huge deal. So everynight, after a stressful day I sit down to watch TV and DP INSISTS on stressing me out and interupting whatever I'm watching to moan about the talking coming from upstairs (paper thin ceiling/walls - its not as if they're shouting etc). He won't let me relax. God forbid I sit down and actually ENJOY an hour of TV.

So yeah basically he's stressing me out and I honestly feel like punching him tonight. So is it me??? is the bathroom door and its "note" so important??? is it the end of the world if the kids talk for half an hour when they go to bed???

He even whinged yesterday because DS asked me to pick him up a TOY with his own pocket money - DP reacted with "oh we don't want to be getting him that! I don't want that in the house, no way, can you imagine the noise??" FFS he's a kid, kids make noise.

He's really, really getting me down. The house is much happier and relaxed when he's out.

have you told him to fuck off?

Yes, at least three times tonight.

"MAKE SURE YOU SHUT THE DOOR AFTER USE AS IT IS NOW COLD WEATHER. KEEP DOOR CLOSED"

then you add

"put a jumper on then you nobber"

how about

dp, shut the fuck up love, you are BORING me.

He sounds like a complete control freak and really not much fun to be around.

LOL his "reasoning" is that it's making the gas bill higher. But I fail to see how it makes that much difference considering the bathroom is only as cold as the hallway in which it resides!! It's not as if it has air conditioning blasting out in there.

YA SO NBU at the note

Your last sentence tells you all you need toknow

say to him 'dear dp you either chillthe fuck out, go for counselling or we go our separate ways' IMO

I think it's the weather or something at the moment. . . . .
My OH is been a total twat too, can't help but know how you feel.

Slam the door really fucking hard each time, especially for your "3am Wee".

Has he always been like this?

Nobber.

Awww YANBU, your H sounds like an arse!

What's the big deal with the bathroom? Do you have to have the window open in there all the time which makes the house cold if the door is open? He shouldn't be shouting at you all about it anyway.

He sounds a bit control freakish. Have you talked to him about why he's being like this?

He makes such a massive deal about every little thing. I even said to him he needs to get a hobby because if all he has on his mind is a bathroom door and if he can't "concentrate" on a TV program because he can hear faint talking coming from upstairs then he has a serious fucking problem somewhere.

he sounds fucking horrible

why are with this verbally-abusive nobber ?

seriously ?

Why is it you who has to go and sort out the talking children?

Sounds like he needs a holiday or a divorce.

LOL, get him a giant onese and some ear muffs, and tell him to STFU, or he can live in the shed.

You do have a shed??? don't you???

Yes tonight I've had it out with him. Main pointers are:

The bathroom door is NOT a big deal, sticking notes around the house is TOTALLY controlling and upsetting the kids over something so trivial is just not on.

I don't appreaciate being spoken to and told off like an 8 year old.

The kids make noise. They're kids. Kids make noise. They are not and never will be perfect - because they're kids. Perfect kids do not exist.

I also told him I'd like to play the part of the ghosts of christmas past/present and future so I could take him for a glimpse into NORMAL families lives and make him realise that
a) his behaviour is far from normal
b) all kids leave doors open etc
c) normal houses are not like nazi camps and they certainly don't have fucking instructions plastered on the doors.

He's gone to bed in a strop.

Sympathies have had similar issues with DH quite frankly it grinds you down.

TBH this year has been awful and I would definately say we have come to a make or break situation. You really have to lay it on the line with and tell him how miserable he makes you all and basically how much happier the house is when he's not in it.

This is what I did in the end and I know a lot of what I said did hurt DH alot but it was all true and given that I was starting to make an exit plan there seemed no point in holding back.

He sounds completely stressed out and frustrated with his life so taking control in other ways. Is his job stressing him out? You can't put up with this. Just tell him 'I can't put up with this, it is making me really unhappy. What can we do about it?'

YANBU.

And I still can't understand what the bathroom door has to do with the cold weather. Is the bathroom window always open???

d) he is an inadequate wanker who needs to bully small children to feel good about himself

you forgot that one

Is he a new dp? is he the kids dad? Write "fuck off on the note". Bathroom door open won't raise gas bill! Miserable sod.

we cold have a whip round for a shed if that helps?

Pack his bag and send him on his way. There's four of you pussy footing round trying to keep him happy, three of whom are kids. That's not on.

He sounds like an arse.

tell him to fit a spring to teh door so it closes everytime by itself. problem solved. then tell him to see his doctor? he has serious issues if he is shoutinga t a child about forgetting to shut a door. has he recently quit smoking? sounds like some of my dad's strange behaviour when he quit.

No the bathroom is no colder than the rest of the house, his logic is totally fucking stupid. It's just something he's got a bee in his bonnet about and he's refusing to let it go. Its like he gets obsessed with his new "rules" etc and MUST see everyone following them.