Neighbour problems

[VivienScott]

My new neighbour is having an extension built. As part of this the builders need to put scaffolding up on the pathway down the side of my house. The pathway is wholy my land and we use it a great deal, it where the milkman delivers milk, the postman delivers parcels through the side door in the cat flap if we're not there, the bins are, it's also the door to the house we use if we've been out and are muddy, and most importantly, it's the door to the garden the kids use, the other option is mud through the living room and on the carpets.

The neighbour came round last week and asked if it was OK to put up scaffolding and said the the estimated time would be at least three months, throughout which the builders would need access to the scaffolding and therefore my land. I wasn't exactly happy about this but in the spirit of neighbourliness I said yes but it was not to obstruct the passageway, the side door or the cat flap.

So today the scaffolders have turned up, started erecting the scaffolding without even the common courtesy of a knock at the door to let me know and then proceeded to put a post up right in front of the door blocking it and the cat flap and also the first level walkway across the door!!! I went out and told them to stop and take it down because I'd not agreed to it, which eventually they did. I said unless they could come up with a way of putting it up without causing an obstruction it had to go, they said they can't for whatever reason (I think they were being a bit jobsworth) and left.

Anyway the neighbour has just left my doorstep, she's at work during the day so wasn't there when the scaffolders were, asked me if there was anyway round it, I said no not for that length of time, it would be like no front door for 3 months we use the side door so much. She then said could she speak to my husband as perhaps me being a stay at home mum had left me with a distorted view of the real world where people were actually willing to look beyond their own needs and those of their pets and children because unless I give permission they can't build the extension as they need the scaffolding!!!! She then threatened legal action against me, said she was entitled to temporary access to the land, which I know she isn't. Needless to say I told her to hop it in slightly more colourful language.

Apart from it ending in a slanging match I'm beginning to wonder should I just put up with the massive hassle of it for 3+ months in order to just preserve neighbourly relations or, given her rudeness, and the fact it is a massive pain in the neck and I'm under no legal obligation to give permission, despite what she tried to tell me, just stick to my guns. OH thinks we should tell her to f off, but he would!

She's only been there a little while and I don't really know her at all, but she's always seemed a bit highly strung. Rational side is saying just give in for a quiet life, stubborn side of me thinks if she can't be polite she deserves nothing and giving into her will just encourage her ridiculous behaviour.

Which side of me is BU???

Oh sorry, it's really long!

ooh

wouldn't like to be in your shoes really. She had a nerve speaking to you in that derogatory manner and asking to go above your head, as it were, to your husband.

Difficult if the extension cannot otherwise be put up. Is her husband reasonable/calm? If so give it some time and thought and if you can see any way around it that is acceptable for you, arrange to have a chat with him about it?

She has managed to cut off her nose to spite her own face, hasn't she?

I would have given them access,despite the inconvenience in the hope that my neighbour would also be accommodating should I want a favour.

Perhaps the builders could agree to not have that particular piece of scaffolding up for the whole time as a compromise.

Yes, I think YABU. Yes, it's a hassle, but that's all it is. She's not stopping you getting in your house. Plenty of people don't have an option for parcels being delivered through a catflap. Get some dustsheets down for 3 months, or ask your children to take their shoes off whenever they come into the house. Ask the milkman to deliver to the front for 3 months; and have the bins out the front.

Seriously - a little bit of inconvenience for the sake of long term good terms with your neighbours is not much to ask.

And it sounds like she's tried being polite, but is, understandably, feeling very frustrated that you won't give way which may mean her extension doesn't get built.

She sounds fun.

I really can't see why they have to block your door - there is accessible scaffolding outside shops all the time.

I think I would still want to help, for sake of not having a bad relationship forever. I would write a letter explaining that you are not ok with the way she spoke to you, or with having your door/catflap blocked, but would still be ok with the scaffolding if this can be avoided. Make sure your DP signs it too so she doesn't go whining to him.

It's up to her if she chooses to be awkward and doesn't get an extension after that much accomodation on your part!

The thing is that you are going to have to live with these neighbours next to you and I agree that you want it to be as amicable as possible, but at the same time you don't want to become some doormat.

I would really just approach them and explain what your concerns are and the fact that they are going to have to come up with a solution that suits both sides. She can't block access and doors because she wants it!

Hello - my neighbour is planning on doing the exact same thing. We were told (by a builder) it's possible for them to build either from the inside out (in our case it's on top of her existing garage) - hanging over the top or to use mobile scaffolding towers. We objected to her planning application and it was upheld - she has now had something much smaller approved. She has been quite nasty about it and am waiting for her to come knocking on my door asking to put scaffolding up. But am in total agreement with you - it's unreasonable for someone to erect scaffolding on your property - especially if it blocks access for three months. In our case our front door and patio area are on this side of the house. I don't think YABU.

I can't believe the scaffolders can't get round this - they will be used to putting up scaffolding in really difficult and tight spots. Tell your neighbour that you are happy to talk to the scaffolders to find a solution. I think it's fair to say you don't want your door blocked because the chances are the work will take longer than expected - especially now winter is coming - and you could be looking at more like 4 or 5 months.

I do not thing YABU. I think the way she spoke to you stinks.

You could always do what my mil did. She charged her neighbours £100 per month to erect scaffolding on her property!!!

it wouldn't have even occured to me that I might be able to put scaffolding up on a neighbour's property for 3 months tbh

Maybe it was the cheapest solution for herto do it that way, perhaps there is some other way round it with the builders

I can't believe she asked to speak to your husband. I am at that.

I wouldn't give in just because of that tbh. Plus glasscompletely is right - what if it runs over into 4-5 months? That's one heck of a favour for someone nice, let alone a mad witch.

I think its likely to take longer than 3 months. So, I think the best way is to invite them round for a coffee to discuss a solution. Both of you will be in and you can be all nice and make your point and also give her a chance to apologise for being such an ignorant bitch. Dont accept your door way being blocked. Scaffolding can be erected around greater obstacles than that.

Planning permission and associated documents ?

Might offer some more information. Think you should be able to do a search at local council website.

Well, she's not being unreasonable in asking but three months is a long time and given neither you nor she really knew what it entailed but she's laying the entire shit at your door - that's wrong.

I'm sure if she'd been there she'd have seen it was a bit over the top and been able to instruct the builders to do something about it. But she wasn't and has instead been rude to you as a stay at home mum and wants to go over your head to your dh. That's pretty sexist actually.

Can she not come around with the builders and try to come to some arrangement other than lay the entire crap on you and your 'stay at home' status. She needs to manage her builders better.

I'm sure it's doable but she needs to project manage these builders.

Quite honestly if you want a favour from your neighbours there are better ways to go about it.

Were you served any official notice of these works ?

There has to be a way of creating a scaffolding joist to allow access to your house. It is NOT reasonable to block a neighbour's entrance for 3m. It just isn't. Scoffolders have to design this stuff all the time to get around tricky buildings, entrances etc, so why not now?

Why should VS just give up her back door for 3m? What on earth is in it for our OP?

The on-set of winter means that there will be more mud and stuff, so the door will be of more use, not less.

Her coming round shouting the odds is absolutely not on either. It merely scuppers any chance she has of getting you to agree to her wishes.

VS you were not being U at being dismayed at the door being totally obstructed, even if it were for 3 weeks, this is for at least 3m.

YANBU at being outraged at her comments, and she deserved her 2 fingered salute and to be sent on her way.

I'd be inclined to advise you to leave it, totally.

Do nothing.

You don't need to have scaffolding on your property, it doesn't enhance your property and neither will it enhance your life having the neighbours builders hammering and banging for the next few months.

If she wants it to happen, let her do the running.

TBH, it's utterly down to Mrs Extension to smooth this over, to come round and profusely apologise for her disgusting comments.

How DARE she come round shouting the odds, how dare she TELL you to accept it, and HOW very dare she deride you for being a SAHM.

VS, Don't you DARE let her go 'over your head' and talk to your DH. Make sure DH is with you on this, and refuses to let her usurp your decisions.

Sit back and do absolutely nothing. You don't need to do anything.

She will have to get her scaffolders to re design the metal work to accommodate your access to your home, ONLY once you are happy, then you can agree it and allow the scaffolding to be constructed on your land.

I'm willing to bet my life on the fact that if the shoe were on the other foot she'd not allow her back door to be totally blocked off for 3m.

Seems you don't need planning permission.
Sorry.

The neighbour has been very foolish. How long before her DH has to come round to try to undo the damage she's caused in speaking to you that way?
I would say that you are prepared to have their scaffolding on your property in order to help them out, but that it cannot block your door in any way. They need to find a way round that or no deal. Oh, and if there's no room for the wheelie bins to go up and down, then they will have to keep them in an accessible spot on their property for the duration.
As someone pointed out on a similar thread recently, people tend to forget that the disruption is only worthwhile to those who are going to reap the benefit of the extension at the end of it, i.e. your neighbour and a nice new bit of house. For everyone else in the road, it's a massive pain in the butt, for no reward at all.

Don't think the actual scaffolding layout is part of planning permission. but it does have to be designed, certainly to avoid situations like these.

Giddy raises a good point, I wonder if this scaffolding WILL cause any damage to VS path, if so, costs for resurfacing of same needs to be built in and agreed. In writing.

You ought to ask about insurance too.

Can't believe what she said to you- how insulting.

I thought you only had to grant access to maintain existing property, if you give access for an extension you give them the right of access to maintain that too, a distant memory of legal advice we got but worth considering/looking into.

Please see here, maybe print a copy & shove it through her letterbox!
www.problemneighbours.co.uk/rights-under-access-to-neighbouring-land-act.html

How dare she ask to speak to your husband - does she think that because you are a SAHM you are living in the 1950s???

We use our side door all the time for the reasons you state, hardly ever use the front door, so I can imagine how you feel.

I can't believe that decent builders can't put up the scaffolding without obstructing the door - and in my experience building projects always seem to over-run, especially as winter is approaching so if it's 3 months estimate be prepared for it to take longer! I think you are being extremely accommodating allowing them to use your land, so stick to your guns and don't agree to anything you are not happy about.

Would agree with LittleMiss above, the scaffolders should def be able to erect scaffolding which doesn't obstruct your door, its prob just not the 'easiest' option & may involve a bit more work. If I was OP and neighbour brought it up again, would say its fine as long as it doesn't obstruct doorway.