to think that my oh is being an idiot over my friends wedding?

[doublechocchip]

Just after some opinions really, it started when one of my best mates invited me and not oh to her wedding earlier in the year. There was 8 of us who were all from uni going and to make it fair she invited nobodys partners even though some of the girls were engaged and me and oh have children.

Well oh took major offence at this and now will only slag her off all the time, doesnt want her in the house, and it causes a lot of arguments as we just cant see each others point of view! He has only met her a couple of times so it wasnt like they were close either!

Its all just so infuriating because although I wouldnt have done it, it was HER wedding day and therefore can do what she wants and invite who she wants and more importantly who they could afford to. He feels like I chose her over him?? I see her only about twice a year as she lives so far away and it was a lovely break away with all my uni friends.

The thing is he would have hated going anyway as if she had invited all the partners they would have had to have made small talk, he doesnt drink and would have been bored but he doesnt acknowledge any of this he just thinks she doesnt take our relationship seriosly which is rubbish - they just couldnt afford everybody! She invited all the partners to the evening do but as it was far away obv none of them came.

What do you all think? Who is being unreasonable? Should I not have gone to the wedding in principle and 'chose' him over her?

YANBU. He is being an idiot.

Just going on you OP he sounds a bit jealous and controlling, if he wouldn't have enjoyed it anyway then it must be about something else rather than him missing out on a wedding.

Try not to let his twatishness come between you and your friend, just ignore him when he slags her off.

What do you think is the real reason as to why he's behaving like this?

YANBU at all. He is being a sulky drama queen. If one of my friends who DH didn't know well was getting married he would have zero interest in coming. tell him to nut up or shut up :)

He is BU - silly silly behaviour - would he really have wanted to go to the wedding?

God he sounds awful
is he usually like this
I'd go mad living with someone so narrowminded

He sounds dreadful.

Tell him to grow up.

Thanks for comments I didnt think i was being unreasonable but was starting to doubt myself! No he's normally fine about who I go out with/when/where, last year he even told me to go and stay with her for a couple of days as a break and he would mind the children which was fab. Its just this whole not inviting him to the wedding he's taken it so personally and the aftermath has dragged on and on!

He is being ridiculous.

I'm going to side with your partner in principle (not the bit about you choosing her over him etc) - if he was someone the bride had never met, then perhaps it would have been OK not to invite him but clearly she has met him as she has visited you at home and enjoyed your hospitality and it does seem very odd not to ask him as well.

If it was me lala I might think it odd, but I'd understand it was about numbers and certainly wouldn't be kicking up such a stink about it months afterwards.

It's caused a lot of arguments? Why does it keep getting brought up?

am wondering what you studied at uni?

WhoAte- he just sees her name on fb or when she sends me or one of the children a birthday card or rings me he goes off on one calling her names etc. I ignore him most of the time but sometimes it really pisses me off so I ask him to keep his thoughts to himslef and then it all comes out (again!)

Think Im completely on my own here but I think your friend was completely and utterly out of order here. I would be very, very insulted it I was invited to a wedding and DH wasnt. Quite shocking really

How would you feel if he got invited to a wedding and you were ignored, although you are the mother of his children?

I dont think you are being unreasonable, I think your friend is extremely selfish and horrible to have you in such an awful position. I can understand why your dp is so upset.

That poor poor man

I think your OH has a right to feel a bit miffed but needs to get over it. DH was invited to a wedding a couple of weeks ago without me and it did hurt as I'd known the groom for as long as dh has just not as well; but you can't hold onto these things, it's pointless to try to.

I am in tears

hang on, am I right in thinking he was invited to the evening do, but didn't go because it was too far?

Couldn't the partners have got together during the wedding service and then joined you in the evening if they really wanted to

Time to let go and move on

Sorry, but if my DH was invited to a wedding and I wasn't, then I would be really offended. It wasn't a "girls' night out", it was a wedding.

Our rule was that if we knew about a partner then they were invited, because the relationship was obviously important enough to our friend or relative to make it public. And we had a small wedding and scaled back our invites accordingly.

Disgusting

YANBU.

My mum was invited to the wedding of a work colleague last year and my dad was only invited to the evening. He wasn't bothered at all. I think tbh he was pleased to be invited at all seeing as he didn't know either the bride or the groom.

I think it would be selfish of your friend if they had an unlimited budget. Weddings can be bloody expensive though, and if you invite one persons OH you have to invite everyone's. Perhaps they can't afford to. My friend is getting married next year, one place they enquired quoted £12,000 for the reception!

ooh a mix of opinions interesting, you see thats what its all about really because whats insulting to one person isnt to another. its all subjective which is why we keep arguing about it as neither of us can agree with the other.

I get why he was a bit put out not to be invited as I wouldnt invite her and not her oh HOWEVER to be THAT upset by it all I just dont understand as I know that I wouldnt be bothered if one of his friends only invited him to a wedding and not me due to money reasons, I am quite laid back whereas he is not so much!

Perhaps the best you can do is see each others point and agree to disagree. Ongoing arguments like this never get anywhere imo. Deal with it and move on, before it puts a wedge between you.

Wow he's being a child isn't he?

double, I could swear we went to the same wedding. Only partners that were known to the bride and groom were invited, which I thought was reasonable. One guest objected, and it was one who had an insane need for her relationship to be acknowledged because she had been so unlucky in love as long as we'd known her and she lacked confidence. Is your OH insecure and needing lots of reassurance?

He needs to let this go. He is the one overwhelmingly in the wrong here. Nothing was done to insult him or upset him and he is tantruming like it was. I really would just ignore him if this was to come up again.