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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have splatted a half eaten ice cream cone on his head?

324 replies

AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong · 29/10/2010 20:19

Husband arrived home from work. Kids and I had finished our tea and were eating our ice cream. He heated his up in microwave and joined us at the table. Sausage, mash, onion gravy, carrots and sweetcorn.

'oh, I'll just get some brown sauce' - he jumps up and goes and gets it. I say 'EEERR thats gross, try it without first.' He starts to squeeze - 'just try it first (nervous laugh to make him feel like I am not 'telling him' although this is obviously lost in translation)as the bottle of brown sauce is then lobbed across table and onto floor, DS4, DD1 and mother all look on mouths gaping, although mother then remembers that such childish ways of communication are quite commonplace from him.

Mother thinks (in a very quick flash) - all these things all at once - I am angry because he has had yet another 'tantrum', I am angry at myself for even saying anything anyway, he wasn't trying to say my food was tasteless, he just wanted extra flavour. And I decide to let it go and just carry on eating my ice cream... then I look up at him and he is glaring at me as if I am the wife from hell. Something inside me just releases and I just cannot resist, 'splat'! I didn't really think about it, and I am still not entirely sure of my motives but I think it was 'well, if he is going to have a tantrum, so will I'! And I certainly did not consider the consequences!

I could tell he was extremely angry by the rage in his eyes - which to me seemed absurd, to be so angry at such as silly thing, so I laughed, so much and so hysterically that I looked quite deluded, so I left the room to put the kids bath on.

About 10 seconds later, hubby was upstairs getting ironing board out 'What are you doing, you should eat your tea it will get cold' - yes you guessed it - its in the bin!

Of course, my trip wire is finally pushed right over the edge and rage erupts as I think of how ungrateful he is and feel really annoyed at him trying to punish me by making me feel guilty that he now has had no tea.

I know I was unreasonable. I know he was unreasonable. I also think it is so funny and thought you all must deserve a laugh!

We are still out of sorts with each other because I am always the first to apologise, have been for 9 years, but tonight, I am just waiting for him to decide enough is enough and that he wants to make amends. I will let you know if he ever does - very doubtful!

I will end up saying sorry, then he will say sorry. I don't think I will be able to let it go on much longer.

AAAHH, the joys of having a marriage to uphold!

OP posts:
Tigeristhewickerman · 29/10/2010 22:44

I think Always thinks she's on a dating site. what a lovely pen portrait you paint.

Boobalina · 29/10/2010 22:47

That post was just AWESOME

A bit about me, well, ....

I am loving, caring and patient (most of the time). I am honest, hard working, attractive, quite well balanced (most of the time), happy, bossy, positive, cheeky, self assured, assertive (most of the time), giving, clever (not very but enough to keep hubby on his toes) and loveable. My hubby is all these things too - and even more well balanced but a bit less patient and a little bit more bossy.

This is not a dating site or a weird HP sauce / vanilla icecream smearing swingers one either.....

Diziet · 29/10/2010 22:48

By 'eck, Always... bet you wished you'd never said anything now, don't you?? Grin

KiwiKat · 29/10/2010 22:51

I have a temper. DH has a temper. We don't throw stuff at each other - we just bellow. How freaked out must your kids have been?!!

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 22:53

here the thing drag your marital detritus around expect to be called on it

cumfy · 29/10/2010 22:55

DC will be like DPs.Sad

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 22:56

mn dating!id be in the scottish and crabbit mone and get yer chips category

cumfy · 29/10/2010 22:58

Is that a palindrome or an anagram SM ? :o

scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 22:59

oh clever you!umm not a clue

booooooooooyhoo · 29/10/2010 22:59

your poor kids. Sad

in all seriousness. have you considered anger managemnet. both of you i mean. you cannot teach your dc that this is how to deal with issues. it is absoloutely insane. you do know that dont you?

Boobalina · 29/10/2010 23:00

Hi, My names Boobalina - I am sometimes feisty and ballsy, other time insecure and needy - if you fancy a good time call 0845-GET-A-LIFE

hobbgoblin · 29/10/2010 23:04

I think there is a lot more to the OP than we see in this thread. From the thread I experienced her on before she seems a decent enough poster so I hope this isn't going to become too mocking. So, perhaps OP's style is a little, er narcissistic...I don't think she quite sees how this looks.

OP, now you've described what happened, nothing you say is going to make it sound okay however pretty or cuddly or apologetic either of you are. You may be nice but your shit is weird, seriously. :(

booooooooooyhoo · 29/10/2010 23:05

jesus, I've just read the rest of your posts, you are absoloutley off your rocker. re-read your posts and see how manic you sound.

Hedgeblunder · 29/10/2010 23:06

What hobbgoblin said

Boobalina · 29/10/2010 23:09

fair play Hobgoblin

AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong · 29/10/2010 23:13

Off my rocker? Well, maybe I am.

Maybe I am just a decent, not perfect human being who now and again goes off on one because she has spent so much time thinking 'oh well, never mind, oohhh thats nice etc., then realises, then looks on here for someone to tell her it has happened to them now and again to.

Actually, I just thought it was funny! I think I am absurd, obviously to most on here.

We are all, after all, one of a kind.

I am always surprised at how many people I speak to on here at are so negative then so supportive!

IT IS NOT A TROLL. I am just 'different'! Not delusional, not mad, just pouring my heart out but people just keep coming up to the thread, not reading it all and judging me all over asking questions which I try to answer then get lost in.

OP posts:
Boobalina · 29/10/2010 23:17

Always - people are saying it has happened to them and it is a sign of things arent actually all that great when sitting down for supper ends up like that.... its like the scene in American Beauty when the husband (spacey) throws his plate across the dining room....

AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong · 29/10/2010 23:18

Please don't feel sorry for my kids, or my husband. I am a lovely wife and mother. I always put the needs of my children and husband above my own, except when in a silly tantrum style fashion I explode over something nonsensical like this (which is not all that often and never before to this degree.)

My children are wonderfully happy, healthy and emotionally secure.

Given the adversity of my youth I am extremely lucky to be such a loving person. Yes, anger does peep in now and again, but at least I recognise it as a force for bad and seek to get control of myself. I always reproach myself if I go over board, or even feel angry if I can.

I teach my children how to know right from wrong with respect and knowledge about how immature their emotional systems are. I help them to calm down and show them love even when they have done something naughty. I say sorry when I get it wrong and I teach them to say sorry. I wish I had had the luxury of such parenting. My husband too.

OP posts:
scottishmummy · 29/10/2010 23:19

tbh too much psychobbale,cant corroborarete and op changes her mind

op your post,well lets face it explosive disproportionate rage always will get reaction

booooooooooyhoo · 29/10/2010 23:19

but have you read your posts again OP? do you see how they read?

AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong · 29/10/2010 23:20

Not off on one in the same way as this - maybe, for example - shouting at someone who pulls out at you, or slamming a door, or shouting at someone - just a temporary loss of control (this case, of course, is at the far end of the scale!)

In my obviously warped mind I though it was funny in a really - oh my goodness this has gone way too far but it was harmless and a one off sort of way.

OP posts:
Guacamole · 29/10/2010 23:20

Uuuummm this sounds like the kind of thing my parents get up to all the time and they've been married 35 years! I definitely saw occasional behaviour like the and I turned out okay.
In fact I can distinctly remember my Mum throwing a meatball at my Dad and hitting him on the nose, I found it hilarious, especially when he threw it back and missed... Leaving a little meatball shaped mark on the wall.
In all seriousness OP you do sound like a bit if a nag, your DH is not a child if he wants brown sauce let him have brown sauce. As well as you being a nag, he's a stubborn so and so for putting his dinner in the bin, I hope he's hungry!
Try and calm down a little and enjoy your family a bit more!

aurynne · 29/10/2010 23:21

This whole thread is just pathetic.

Don't really know what's worse... the OP describing an absolute hellish family, or her later attempts to show how great they all are.

Time to walk the dog...

dittany · 29/10/2010 23:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong · 29/10/2010 23:22

To me they read as an opening into me. I will read them as I wrote them. Obviously, no matter what you write, there are 10 or more ways it can be perceived.

I am not after anyone to like me, agree with me - I said from the outset I knew it was unreasonable. I am just answering all the questions posed and now a few think I am either trying too hard to answer stuff or back tracking.

I am just answering the questions.

OP posts:
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