To have splatted a half eaten ice cream cone on his head?

[AlwaysMeanWellOftenWrong]

Husband arrived home from work. Kids and I had finished our tea and were eating our ice cream. He heated his up in microwave and joined us at the table. Sausage, mash, onion gravy, carrots and sweetcorn.

'oh, I'll just get some brown sauce' - he jumps up and goes and gets it. I say 'EEERR thats gross, try it without first.' He starts to squeeze - 'just try it first (nervous laugh to make him feel like I am not 'telling him' although this is obviously lost in translation)as the bottle of brown sauce is then lobbed across table and onto floor, DS4, DD1 and mother all look on mouths gaping, although mother then remembers that such childish ways of communication are quite commonplace from him.

Mother thinks (in a very quick flash) - all these things all at once - I am angry because he has had yet another 'tantrum', I am angry at myself for even saying anything anyway, he wasn't trying to say my food was tasteless, he just wanted extra flavour. And I decide to let it go and just carry on eating my ice cream... then I look up at him and he is glaring at me as if I am the wife from hell. Something inside me just releases and I just cannot resist, 'splat'! I didn't really think about it, and I am still not entirely sure of my motives but I think it was 'well, if he is going to have a tantrum, so will I'! And I certainly did not consider the consequences!

I could tell he was extremely angry by the rage in his eyes - which to me seemed absurd, to be so angry at such as silly thing, so I laughed, so much and so hysterically that I looked quite deluded, so I left the room to put the kids bath on.

About 10 seconds later, hubby was upstairs getting ironing board out 'What are you doing, you should eat your tea it will get cold' - yes you guessed it - its in the bin!

Of course, my trip wire is finally pushed right over the edge and rage erupts as I think of how ungrateful he is and feel really annoyed at him trying to punish me by making me feel guilty that he now has had no tea.

I know I was unreasonable. I know he was unreasonable. I also think it is so funny and thought you all must deserve a laugh!

We are still out of sorts with each other because I am always the first to apologise, have been for 9 years, but tonight, I am just waiting for him to decide enough is enough and that he wants to make amends. I will let you know if he ever does - very doubtful!

I will end up saying sorry, then he will say sorry. I don't think I will be able to let it go on much longer.

AAAHH, the joys of having a marriage to uphold!

Lion - have you read all my posts - because my later ones are getting a bit better! (excluding my last which I have gone back to gibber)

dittany - paste the part that you are meaning when you say

'But you've already said you wind each other up on a regular basis. So this isn't a one off is it.'

So I can answer properly because I am not sure where you got this from. Plus, winding one another up regularly is normal, is it not, as we are all made differently = its usual for me to let things go that are superficial. What I describe in my post is me doing the opposite of normal

your story has more holes than swiss cheese,you backtrack and change when quizzed

Alwaymeanwell - look, I'm not a hate campaign here or anything like that as underneath it all come across as a very nice caring lady.

I've touched a nerve with the passive jobber... dont sweat it so much

As you have gone to great lengths in so many differant degrees of verbosity to tell us, your marriage is just stuffed full of loveliness, except when your husband has a freak out over brown sauce and you retaliate with Vanilla icecream.

I'm off to phone Mike Leigh now as this has all the elements to a new script he could write...

I never know what time my H gets home - different time evry day and he never calls to let me know - so I just crack on with dinner avec littles - maybe OP does the same?

scottishmummy - No one is perfect. I am sorry if I cannot keep up with a thousand and one questions and accusations that are absurd and based on a few paragraphs of blibber that I blubbered at a million miles an hour.

I don't know what you think I have backtracked on.

Hubby is shift worker, usually wait for him, except this particular shift. It is always the same, tea next to microwave for his arrival, then we all sit while he finishes and eats ice cream with us! Then all off to bath together to chat about day.

I prefer tomato ketchup myself.

Think you need to work the colour around this story a little more, but this

"few paragraphs of blibber that I blubbered"

is a work of genius, and I might steal

lol lion - thanks !

Dittany - explaining that we have short tempers and that we try to keep things cool. That we often work together to get around our shared tend any to flare up at silly things.

This level of loss of control and how angry we got and what we did is unusual.

That we both are almost always exercising well needed patience 99.9 percent (if not more) of the time in our marriage given our flaws is imo quite something to be proud of.

To clear up - We do seem to want to come to verbal blows now and again because we both get unnecessarily angry over silly things - but we have learned to stop winding each other up so much and stopping arguments erupting before they do. I am talking over the course of 9 years here.

I am sorry to all if my inner thoughts about myself and my relationship are jumbled and appear to be false. I just speak from the heart.

boobalina - look, you are entitled to your opinion of how you interpret my written words, as am I. We both probably 9 times out of 10 don't 'get' what the other is saying.

So much of actual communication is lost in type. Especially if it is at a million times a second because you have a number of questions to answer!

blimey you 2 need to grow up

This thread is truly drivel. Lots of lovely ishooes. Lots of lovely claptrap more like.

If it wasn't such a big deal, then why did you write the OP in such an emotive fashion?

Why did you not pour the ice cream on your own head? You needed cooling down, he just needed some brown sauce.

Like I said Always - I'm not on a hate campaign...dont sweat it so much or over justify / matyr yourself

Chillax

We never argue about .... affairs

But [apparently] you argue about sauce.

Please .... tell me more. :o

put your hands up to a doozey embellished post and move on

If you get uptight about your husband having brown sauce on his food you need to get some perspective on life.

puts kettle on

tea anyone?

I am not perfect and I am not flawless. But, I am loving, caring and patient (most of the time). I am honest, hard working, attractive, quite well balanced (most of the time), happy, bossy, positive, cheeky, self assured, assertive (most of the time), giving, clever (not very but enough to keep hubby on his toes) and loveable. My hubby is all these things too - and even more well balanced but a bit less patient and a little bit more bossy.

I do fly off the handle every now and again, as does he and we have lots of fun.

I am not depressed or mad (although, perhaps I experienced a moment of tempory insanity as I am sleep deprived at the moment!)

What I am trying to say is - if you have read this and judged me to be a crazed lunatic in a marriage of never ending woe, you have not got the full picture. It was only a moment of madness in an otherwise beautiful household.

Jesus. What a fucked up situ.

i've been on one of your threads before... I think you are in denial