AIBU to dare to suggest that children are better off NOT in nursery til 3?

[WeakAndMilky]

AIBU to NOT buy into the belief that exposing toddlers to every bug going is good for their immune system? Nurseries are terrible places for bugs and so many DCs spend half their time with D&V, colds, fevers, rashes etc. If you want an example of the 'constant cough/cold syndrome' look on Childrens Health!

True some parents have no choice and children do need to see other children. But they dont do much interactive play before the age of 3 and their immune system has plenty of time to build with more limited contact with other kids and adults.

My own DCs went only to playgroup weekly before school started, and they didnt collapse under the bombardment of viruses when they did go, just the usual minor stuff. My DD never had an antibiotic til she was a teenager!

Please dont bang on about having no choice due to work (you obviously don't have a choice) but there are plenty of mums who do have the choice and choose to send babies and toddlers to nursery.

But nobody sends their child to nursery for the sole purpose of exposing them to virus'.

DD went to nursery from just after her 2nd birthday, and hasn't had anit-B's since then.

DS1 started nursery at 2.9, and still hasn't hhad any aged 11.

But DDS2 didn't go to nursary untill he was 3.5, and had anti-B's a couple of times before he started.

So really I can't agree with you, OP. I personally wouldn't send my baby to nursary unless I had to, but them catching coughs and sneezes would be the least of my worries aabout doing so.

I'm sure I don't need to tell a nurse that antibiotics have no effect whatsoever on viruses

FWIW, my doctor father was keen us to catch as many colds, flus, chicken pox etc as young as possible, as he reckoned that immune systems are better geared up to cope when you are younger. (Not newborn, obviously).

That would be supported by the fact that it is the parents of kids who start at a new school/pre-school/nursery/childminder who seem to come down harder and longer with the many bugs that kids come home with, having met an new cohort of "plague carriers"

What is lame about wanting your child to develop their social skills, please?

Well, my DD is 3.6, didn't go to nursery, and is now at pre-school.... and constantly has one virus or another. Which she is generously sharing with newborn DS.

So not sure waiting till they're 3 before sending them to the germ factory helps much.
Oh, plus she has asthma. Underchallenged immune system? maybe....

But mums who don't send their DC to nursery are quie likely to go to a toddler group a couple of times a week. Full of germy little chidren, those places.

DD1 seems to get a few more sniffles than DD2 who seems to be more prone to tummy bugs if they are around.

They went to the same round of childmonder, playgroup and nursery.

As to people saying 'It's good for their immune system' maybe try to educate them about the complexity of immunity........

Or just accept that a lot of people say and believe a lot of things that do not stand up to scrutiny.

We all do it!

I wonder what a childmonder looks like....

I don't disagree with her because I send my children to nursery, my children have never gone to nursery. I disagree with her because she is talking rubbish!

Oh I see - this is the next tricky debate when you get over the whole bf vs ff debacle.
Good to know there's always a MN thread to come on when you're feeling grotty and get a bit of a strop going.

And by the way I don't know anyone who sends their under three to nursery seriously believing it's the only way for them to develop socially.

Your proud that your children didn't have much of, nor wanted, interactive play before the age of 3? One comment for you...odd!

"Please dont bang on about having no choice due to work (you obviously don't have a choice) but there are plenty of mums who do have the choice and choose to send babies and toddlers to nursery."

Mums???

Are fathers not parents then? Do they not choose to send their children to nursery?

YABU

It's lame to give it as a reason for sending a child - it may be a bonus of doing it but I don't feel it's the reason why - it's usually I want/need a break - well, it is in the cases of my friends which is what I'm talking about.

Well Op, just to ruin your well thought out, backed up with the fact you a nurse arguement, my dd was in full time (mon-thurs, 8-6) nursery from 2 1/2 years and was never ill, apart from a slight sniffle for 2/3days.

Also I have never know anyone to put their DC in nursery to "boost their immune system"

How about you worry less about other people's choices when it comes to their own DC

Maybe you should go to nursery domeafavour- you might develop some social skills

dome....was that necessary?

oh dear Pinkie

So you think it's wrong to send their child to Nursery, to give the parents a break? To do shopping, or get a haircut, to visit folk, without their child present? Being as it's lame to send them to nursery to improve their social skills, natch

STOP PRESS

PARENTS SOMETIMES LIKE TIME TO DO STUFF WITHOUT THEIR CHILDREN SHOCKER

YANBU to think it but YABU to say it to others or expect everyone else to have the same view. My DD1 was in a nursery 8-5 Mon-Fri and I did leave as hated leaving her and she didn't settle. If I had to work then I would hope to find a good childminder, I know 3 who I would use locally if I needed to.

Where did I say that? I said it's lame to give excuses. Nowt wrong with nursery, DD will be going shortly. I very much enjoy my 'me' time and feel no urge to excuse that.

Pinkie, I read your post as it was intended....not sure why other people are jumping on it tbh.

Thank you Muffin. I'm saying exactly the same thing. There is so much pressure on parents to sent their DCs to nursery and go back to work. If the Government supported families more and allowed mums to parent their children until 2-3 there would be fewer stressed parents and healthier children.

I said dont 'bang on' because the response I got is the one I expected. Its when I have to look after babies coughing and wheezing because their parents are forced to send them into this setting I feel sorry for everyone involved. I never said anywhere in my post they should be isolated til 3, quite the opposite. Are people here honestly not fed up with the constant kiddie illnesses?

well let's see.
The only reason, and I mean the ONLY reason my son goes to nursery is because he was at home with me 24/7. No NCT class friends, no family, no real life friends, no friends at baby and toddler classes.
So yes I sent him to nursery to socialise. And yes I feel guilty about that because I couldn't find him any friends.
So if you want to judge me on that Milky and Pinkie and to a lesser extent, Posie, then yes I will tell you to fuck off.

Who the hell are you to judge the reasons why people send their children to nursery.
You think that is your friends reasoning, but don't judge everyone the same. Thank you very much.

And even if people did think that sending their children to nursery because it's good for their immune system was good, once again who the hell are you to judge them on that.

I'm sorry if you think my language was uncalled for, but seriously, the judging makes me sick