to be so fedup of being poor

[BobbyBlue]

I am so fed up of never having any money. I don't want much, I just want to be able to buy my children clothes when they need them instead of having to cut the feet off DD's babygrows to get a few more months out of them, or washing my bra through every night because I only have the one and even that is falling apart. I was looking at DS today and he looks so scruffy in a top that is too short in the arms and is faded.

DH works so hard to look after us and works every hour he can. I had a job but it was only a temp contract and it wasn't renewed after my employer found out I was pregnant with DD3 and now I'm struggling to find anything else.

We don't smoke, drink or even go out.

I can live with having to wear old worn clothes myself but my older two DC are getting to an age where it is going to start bothering them.

I know we're not the only ones who struggle, I only have to look up and down the street to see other families who are having a hard time, but sometimes it just gets so bloody depressing!!!

Feel better for having a moan!

how old is your dd? where abouts are you in the country? My dd is 16 months and if you live close I could pop some round?

oh crikey that is so kind MrsV but I wasn't wanting anyone to give me things. But thank you anyway x

All i can say, is that it will get better. It may not seem so at the moment, but it will.

I agree. Im so down. My husband has been sick (had a life threatening condition) and I wasnt working at the time so we have been skint. Now we are both working we are still skint. Our pay goes into the bank- it goes straight back out on bills. We never go out together he never sends me flowers, I cant treat him to a game of golf somewhere nice as we cant afford it. Everything is suffering at the moment. Yes it sounds melodramatic but life at the mo is going down the pan due to sodding money.

I cant believe the system is letting you down like this. Hope things get better soon x

Have you tried looking on Ebay for bundles of clothes in the right sizes. Ive juat done it for DSD spent hardly anything yet got her set up for prob about 6months and all the items i got were like new.

Its the sheer drudgery of it all that it depressing.

I know I am lucky in so many ways

I feed my DC, they are loved and well taken of.

I have a home and a lovely DH.

And I guess at the end of the day we manage.

But I would love to be able to go round the supermarket and not have to add up every little thing in my head. Or to be able to take the DC to the cinema or bowling.

It so mentally exausting have to watch every single penny and worry about wether there is going to be enough money to pay the rent.

I know I sound pathetic but its just really getting me down today.

Oh shut up empress, it may make you feel better to pretend that the poor don't exist, but please do it elsewhere.

I can relate to the above, my home is freezing, I wear my coat in the house and I go to work in clothes that are wearing away to fluff. It's crap.

If I were you I would go down to the CAB and have them go through you finances, you should not be this short of money.

Do you have huge debts or mortgage costs? Not really sure why you can't buy some new baby grows at asda or primark for a couple of pounds? Or try free cycle? Have you looked at price comparison websites? I have been skintight before but we managed to cut back on stuff and now are much more comfortable.

Empress, you are really out of order.

How old are your DCs I'm sure you could get some stuff for free on freecycle.

There's nothing wrong with complaining about being poor, but you have to think outside the box about how to change things.

Both times when I've been skint, I've taken on a second job. I worked for a telephone advice service which charged £90 per hour through peoples' phone bills and paid me £30 which was good for a while and I paid off a debt I'd stupidly run up.

Now, I run a will writing service in my spare time, which is handy pocket money.

OP, have you thought about:

Evening jobs stacking shelves, working in a pub etc?

Those party things, Virgin Vie, Pampered Chef, Avon type things?

Those card/stationary companies (can't remember what they're called), a friend of mine does those and earns a couple of hundred quid a month.

There are ways of making a bit of spare cash, but you have to really push yourself.

If none of these are right for you, then I really hope you find a "normal" job soon.

BTW I know how you feel, I remember loads of times when I was younger not having any money to eat. Thankfully it has not been that bad since I have had children.

How old are your dc's ?? I am always trying to find people to pass clothes onto, as I am sick of leaving charity bags outside only for no one to collect them, and the bags get soaked and the clothes ruined.

I probably have some age 8/9 girls stuff and some boys age 6ish stuff.

Would either of those sizes be any good to you ??

Show a little tact Empress. The least you could do is share your 'I have been poor and managed somehow' advice with the OP.

We do have debts because we lost our house a few years ago. The bank sold it but didn't get enough to cover what we owed them so we still owe them money and have to make payments to them every month.

Mumble, how did you get into will writing?

I would do any job at the moment. although have struggled with my mental health for a number of years and it got a lot worse after having my baby which meant DH had to take a lot of unpaid time off work to look after the DC.

I am a lot stronger now though and think I will soon reach a point were I think it will actually do me good to go to work

EmpressReality, if you were able to claim benefits then no wonder you were able to afford stuff for your family ...it is the low wage earners who can't rely on benefits that really struggle.

Have a heart.

darcy, I'm a lawyer, working p/t in a high street practice and have a lot of time on my hands now ds is 16.

Got a bit fed up of charging people £280 plus VAT and getting paid about £30, so now I'm freelance, charge much less, and get to pocket the money (well, after tax & stationery costs)

Nutcracker, thankyou for your very kind offer but I will have to politely decline xx

Can you see if you can negotiate those debts down? Or at least get them to reduce the interest rate. I would be careful about extending the term though. I think you really need expert help, CAB on Monday ok?

Yeah i think you are right, I definately need to get some advice about this. I will phone the CAB in the morning