to be so fedup of being poor

[BobbyBlue]

I am so fed up of never having any money. I don't want much, I just want to be able to buy my children clothes when they need them instead of having to cut the feet off DD's babygrows to get a few more months out of them, or washing my bra through every night because I only have the one and even that is falling apart. I was looking at DS today and he looks so scruffy in a top that is too short in the arms and is faded.

DH works so hard to look after us and works every hour he can. I had a job but it was only a temp contract and it wasn't renewed after my employer found out I was pregnant with DD3 and now I'm struggling to find anything else.

We don't smoke, drink or even go out.

I can live with having to wear old worn clothes myself but my older two DC are getting to an age where it is going to start bothering them.

I know we're not the only ones who struggle, I only have to look up and down the street to see other families who are having a hard time, but sometimes it just gets so bloody depressing!!!

Feel better for having a moan!

Yes, bobby I have a sack full of hardly worn toddler girl clothes I can't bear to get rid of, I could though if I knew someone was using them.

I would definitely take any help offered. What's the point of having old children's clothes cluttering up your house when you could pass them on. This is one of those win-win situations.

An aquaintance of mine passed on lots of her daughter's clothes last year to me. We met up for a fun day out, and she handed them over, I felt a bit embarassed, but my daughter was just delighted, and they immediately became her 'best clothes' as they had come from this older cooler girl. It was very sweet. And we needed the hand up at the time. Within a year, I'm in a better position and have passed on car seats, clothes etc. What goes around comes around, and in the future, we will all have to help out and pool resources if people aren't really to fall by the wayside.

Sorry I didn't get back on last night, couldn't get near the computer with the DC and DH.

I have been thinking about this so much last night, and I think if people are wanting to get rid of things any way then I would be silly not to accept.

shimmerysilverghosty, The toddler girls clothes would be wonderful if you are really sure that you don't mind. You have no idea how much it is appreciated!

I phoned the CCCS yesteday, they were really busy but somebody is going to call me back at 4pm this afternoon. Have written down all our incomings and outgoings. The person I spoke to was lovely though and basically said what you have all been saying, that debt repayment shouldn't be leaving us struggling so much. Today is the first time in ages that I have felt like I am in control again.

I have read every single post on here and I really appreciate all the advice and kind offers. Wish you could see how much your words are helping me

Will be on later tonight and tell you what happens with the CCCS

Great, that's a really good start. Accept some help in terms of clothes, and get the debt manageable with CCC so you can live within your means, including buying clothes in the future. You are not alone, and this is sortable.

No I don't mind at all, you would be doing me a favour, my email is [email protected], and we will sort out how to get them to you. Send me an email with details. Need to go and sort them out now though .

OP - Im glad you're getting back on track, and people are being so nice and hepful - grab it with both hands!

mumblechum - or anyone! What is the card/stationary company thing that you can do at home, that you mentioned??

Glad you got the courage to ring cccs and hope they can help you work out a plan

also glad you will take up offers from others on here

keep strong xx

Hi BobbyBlue, sorry to hear you're having a shitey time at the mo

Read through your thread and see you might allow yourself to accept some baby clothes, which is great.
Myself and my friends have always shared clothes, which I call "Friendcycle"(!) and it's made things so much easier for us all.

I wondered if your daughter is a small or average 18 months or not? Also what shoe size? I ask because mine is 20 months and quite big for it, shoe size coming up to 5 already! So might have a few nice bits of clothes/shoes I can pass on.

I've been so touched by the support and help of other mums known and unknown to me, in RL and on here with the problems I've had in the last few years. It would be tempting because of pride, to refuse help because this particular speedbump is a money thing, but I bet you've help others in return in different ways. Take care, please IM me about the clothes.

Sorry, think I meant PM me.

OP how old are your DC and what size are you? I have bags of clothes that I need to get rid of. You would be doing me a favour believe me.

spareroomsleeper, I'm racking my brain but can't rmember. Quite a lot of people do it, maybe someone else can remember? It's all sorts of cards, wrapping paper, etc etc. Quite expensive, so room for a fair bit of profit.

Is it phoenix trading cards?

Their stuff is lovely.

a neighbour does Phoenix Trading cards - she mentioned it the other day - she said start up costs were about £45 and she makes 40p in the £1 on each sale. I have done Virgin Vie before and that was a much bigger layout and hard work going out to do parties etc - phoenix cards looks a lot more "relaxed" do it in your own time type stuff.

Hi everyone, I've had such a positive afternoon. Spoke to a very nice lady from the CCCS who was amazing. She went through all our finances with me and basically said that we should reduce our payments to the bank by a huge amount.

She said our livng expenses including buying clothes for the DC must come before our payments to the bank. She suggested that we should make them an offer of payment of just £20 per month! She is sending us some forms that we can fill in and send to the bank to show them all our outgoings and prove that we can't afford to pay any more at the moment.

Lotster, You're right about having helped other people in the past. When my first 2 DC were small I always passed their clothes on to a woman I knew through nursery who was on her own with four DC. I also gave away our cot, pram etc after DC2 because we weren't planning on having any more. Thinking back it always just felt really good to know we'd helped somebody out and that they were getting use out of them.

My DD is in 18-24 month clothes and is a size 4 shoe.

LoveTheChaos my DS is nearly 10 and DD1 is 12. I am a 14/16 depending on how good I've been

Bobby

Fab, will PM you.

Glad to hear things are improving for you Bobby.

Yes that's it, Phoenix.

So pleased you've got some advice, and hope that the bank agrees to reduced payments.

If they end up having to sue you, the court would only order repayments based on what you can afford.

This thread strikes so many chords...

I've been struggling with a monthly debt; it's not much compared to many people's, but it amounts to a quarter of my monthly income. Most people are very honest, and keen to pay back money that they owe, which is why so many of us struggle. It took the lady at the National Debtline, whom I phoned on a unrelated matter (council tax summons), to point out that repaying money to the banks is not as important as making sure your children are clothed, fed and warm.I'm now going to look at all the options for reducing monthly payments.

It actually makes people feel warm and happy to give clothes to a good home-especially if they have benefited from the kindness of others in the past! I'm a bit sad that everybody I know with new babies has bought loads of new clothes for them, and doesn't want my old ones!

YANBU. It's so relentless. DH got paid today and it's gone already with more owing. Thank feck for child benefit :(

Glad to managed to get something sorted out OP.

glad you feel a bit more on top of things op

I've had lots of clothes given to me by friends and it really doesn't matter to your kids, once they are washed and ironed just hang them up and your kids'll think they've got new stuff. same applies to charity shop bargains.

hope you get things sorted at the bank

ssdx

BTW what size shoes are you ds? my ds has some football boots he's grown out of, but he's got small feet, don't know if they'd be of any use.

can you say whereabouts you live?