to be so fedup of being poor

[BobbyBlue]

I am so fed up of never having any money. I don't want much, I just want to be able to buy my children clothes when they need them instead of having to cut the feet off DD's babygrows to get a few more months out of them, or washing my bra through every night because I only have the one and even that is falling apart. I was looking at DS today and he looks so scruffy in a top that is too short in the arms and is faded.

DH works so hard to look after us and works every hour he can. I had a job but it was only a temp contract and it wasn't renewed after my employer found out I was pregnant with DD3 and now I'm struggling to find anything else.

We don't smoke, drink or even go out.

I can live with having to wear old worn clothes myself but my older two DC are getting to an age where it is going to start bothering them.

I know we're not the only ones who struggle, I only have to look up and down the street to see other families who are having a hard time, but sometimes it just gets so bloody depressing!!!

Feel better for having a moan!

Have a look at www.turn2us.org.uk to see if they can be off any help. Hope things get better for you.

Bobby-I do understand but I think you're being a bit daft to decline the offers you have had- people want to get rid of their old stuff and you need it-I don't see the issue here?
I'm a proud person too but if your family are going without I think you should swallow it and accept the kind offers

I know you're right hedgeblunder but I worry that it looks I'm moaning just to get people to give me things, people are so kind on here it blows me away and I really don't want it to look like I am taking advantage of anyone. I definately don't have a problem with second hand clothes.

cosysocks, thanks for that link, I will have a look at that in a mo

Karma, we do still have the mortgage but no assets that they can take from us. We are in a rented house at the moment. We have furniture, tv etc but its all a bit tatty and not really of any value, even the PC is on its last legs.

I cqnt understQNS HOW WE Hve so,me posters tqlking of hoz well off they are on benefits with 3 kids qnd others saying how poor they are with same anount: Que?

moondog....are you drunk...being poor is no freaking fun.....bobbyblue...it is depressing,i don't have an answer....good luck....i've always used charity shops,and it gets tiring being the only ones to be poor....

Drunk?
No; am on foreigh keyboqrd hence difficulties.
Yes; being poor is bummer but hqrdly life threatening.,,

BB I have a 5 year old DD and TONS of stuff I could send you. Genuine offer if you're interested x hope things improve for you.

I was in a similar situation a few years ago and I was advised to opt for bankruptcy. I had to raise the fees myself but I managed to do that by stopping payments to lenders for a while.

It was such a relief to have our debts written off and we were allocated a lovely rental flat. We won't be homeowners again and there were restrictions on our budget for the first year, but we were discharged after a year and our money is finally our own to spend on what we like.

I'd definitely encourage you to visit your CAB and ask them to look at your finances.

Because everyone is different moondog. DH and I lost our house several years ago, we bought right at the hight of the boom and then after prices dropped we couldn't afford to sell because the value of the house didn't cover how much we owed on the mortgage. The bank reposessed but they didn't even get full market value for it so we are left having to keep paying a mortgage on a house we no longer have.

We also have other costs each month due to my poor health that can't be avoided.

We actually worked out how much we would get in benefits if DH gave up work and we would actually be about £50 a week better off!!!

But its not really an option for DH to give up work so we can claim benefits.

Earlier in the year I had a period of time where I was in hosptial and even when I came out I needed a lot of looking after. DH's work were fab and let him have time off to take care of me and the DC but they didn't pay him for it. That made us fall behind with some bills, although we've nearly caught up now.

banana, I know DH is mortfied at the idea of going bankrupt but I am beginning to think that might well be the right thing to do. I'm not worried about being a homeowner again. I just want to be able to sleep at night instead of lying in bed trying to get the sums to add up.

Def time to see if you can renegotiate the mortgage debt repayment, try and remember the bank have already had all their money (they take out insurance to cover repossesions) and they do have to let you have a certain standard of living.

Have you applied for housing benefit & council tax as we got a small supplement at one point - it all helps.

Secondcoming, you're very right, we don't have anything to lose. We've already gone through the really bad bit of having our home reposessed (sp?)

Being poor is not life threatening...but.....it IS depressing especially as the children get older......you scrimp and save and NEVER go on holiday......we have'nt been on holiday for 20 years,except for a few days camping(no more than 4 days at a time).....but we have paid for each child to go abroad with their school and not gone away ourselves........it wears you down,especially when everyone else seems to be doing ok.....

If it is something you're going to look into, bankruptcy notices for ordinary families aren't put in the local papers any more so nobody would know. Of course it's also about whether you could live with it.

Moneysavingexpert forums have an entire section devoted to people going through the process.

Jodie, thankyou for your lovely offer, my DD is 18 months and my other two are nearly 10 and 12 so quite different ages from your DD

Go bump?...fuck it?..what does that mean?....we also lost our home to repossession.....what bums were we!.....throw us to the dogs...

BobbyBlue Before you do anything, take samays advice.

I had a plan with the cccs, they will negotiate with your creditors on your behalf, they wont charge/judge/belittle you.

Ring them tomorrow, their number is free to call, 0800 138 1111, good luck

morla, i think thesecondcoming was swearing at herself for typos, and then saying ah fuckiit, bump the thread up to the top again.

Just googled cccs, they have some really good advice on there. Just mentioned them to DH and we are going to give them a ring tomorrow.

Thank you all so much for the advice

Night x

thesecondcoming..........you're a laugh