To think this teacher was very rude indeed!!!

[TheLadyEvilStar]

OK DS1 is not the easiest pupil at times but the Monday he asked his french teacher if he could take his blazer off as he was hot. She told him not unless he asked in french, and apparently other pupils told him as well - I didn't think they had a right to tell another pupil what to do. Anyway - DS1 told her he felt dizzy and was too hot but she told him no he couldn't, rightly or wrongly he did anyway.

Yesterday I spoke to the head of house and expressed my concern that he had already informed the teacher he was feeling unwell and yet she wouldn't let him remove his blazer unless he asked in French. She said she agreed with me that it was wrong and she would have a word with her.

Roll on today the said french bitch teacher called me not 6 minutes ago and basically repeated what DS1 had said to me, I explained my feelings which are - and I quote "Some children are so much quicker at learning languages, I am 35 now and have never been brilliant at it"

The bitch teacher then replied "Now be quiet and listen to me, I am older than you"

I replied "Excuse me, I am not a pupil, I am the mother of a pupil"

She didn't like that and ended the call.

I am fucking furious, I have left a message for the head of house to call me ASAP.

Ok I know nothing about ASD RAS etc but that's your line.

You would have welcomed the opportunity to discuss this with the Frnech teacher, just to clarify the issue and then to hear her point of view and see what you can both do to make Frnech lessons less disruptive (bla bla kind of thing) however you quite naturally took affront at being spoken to in that manner. You do hope things have been resolved and that your son will in future be permitted to remove warm clothing if he cannot express his request in Frnech.

Finito.

Our school has a ridiculously strict about wearing their blazers. So I wouldn't have spoken to anyone about that - it's just one of those stupid rules.

However her manner was distinctly odd. To your DS and to you.

I did read the thread honest! Just missed that bit.

Yes you are within your rights to be utterly pissed off if he gets seizures from excess heat and cold.

Yes she was a rude cow, mind you I probably would have laughed to have been spoken like that and held up a mental handbag and gone 'ooooooOOOOOOOOOOoooooooog get you'.

Beb, I have not taken offence. OK the easiest way to explain this. DS1 is brilliant at English, written, read, oral - he is excelling always has done. But he struggles with French, I first bought him French CD's when he was 7 and we were going to france for a holiday - in 2 months he could not pick up 1 word. I have continued to help him as best I can - but it is not happenening. To him (his words) he just can't get it, he can't pronounce the words, and in lessons when put on the spot he panics. I am not going to say this is right but it is how he is.

ZZZ - RAS is basically where the..

The trigger factor causes the heart to stop or slow down dramatically, which in turn reduces the flow of blood to the brain.

The child goes limp, falls down and becomes very pale. The body may stiffen and there may be jerking movements of the arms and legs.

After a short while the blood flow to the brain is restored and the child rapidly returns to normal although they may sleep for some time afterwards

Now, the school know DS1 eing too hot can trigger this and therefore I do expect them to help prevent it happening if he has said he feels dizzy.

I think teachers are put under huge pressure. They are expected to know everything about every child they come into contact with - whether that child has an allergy, or ODD, or ADHD, or suffers fits. Teachers are not trained in special needs, they are there to teach.

They also have to deal with unruly behaviour on a daily basis, esp I should imagine in French as what secondary school kid wants to learn French? They also have to deal with parents whingeing and whining at them about too much homework, too little homework, their child not being allowed a drink in class, their child not being taught properly etc etc.

Schools do their best to help and support children with special needs, but I think parents expect schools to know every detail of every diagnoses and that's impossible.

This teacher tried to encourage your son to speak in French. The rest of the class may have been disruptive, how is she to know whether he is being stubborn or not? With most kids his refusal to speak French would be seen as insolence, but your son is different. Are you sure you and him are not using his ODD as an excuse sometimes for laziness?

The teacher was rude to you, of that there is no doubt. But I know I could never be a teacher because I wouldn't have the patience. It's a job of too many pressures and very little rewards. So give her a break and just leave it, you made your point.

I would also write a little card for your ds to have in his blazer (!) pocket with the words: may I take off my blazer? I feel ill. Underneath it a phonetic representation of how you say it in French.

If you can think of anything else, another card but not an overwhelming amount.

Does he actually still have seizures?

Am interested as DD2 is 3 and seems to be growing out of the seizure part but still gets very tired, pale after an 'incident.'

sorry i know this is a tangent

I think you should get a grip tbh.

Too much complaining and bleating going on in the world

But maryz, you know intimately everything about ASD because your child has it. Imagine all the disorders that children could ever have and put them all into a secondary school along with regular kids who are just plain naughty, stubborn, lazy and so on. As a teacher is it impossible to be that knowledgeable on all those disorders and to identify every child that has such a disorder.

I'm afraid that you cannot protect your kids forever and sooner or later you have to let them deal with these situations on their own.

And give the schools a break.

I don't think the OP was explaining, she called to complain.

she phoned the Head to complain - the french teacher then rang her back to have a go at her....

Christ on a bike? I truely cannot believe that some schools stop children removing blazers - until x-date or the Head says they may??? Really? It's been a while since I heard anything quite so draconian. It is quite quite mad to dictate how my layers of clothing another person should be wearing.

TLES - does DS have to learn French? It sounds like he would be far better doing another course - there's just no point in flogging a dead horse is there! I agree with the very wise ZZZ write a couple of useful phrases on a card he can keep in his blazer pocket.

Please let us know what the Head says - the way she spoke to you is unacceptable - you did well not to say too much (unless she hung up first!?). I think I would have laughed and said 'Who, exactly, do you think you are?'

I am absolutely flaberghasted that so many are siding with this teacher! and i speak as a teacher.

regardless of school rules on blazer wearing and whether requests are to be made in french, that the boy may or may not have been hearing classmates make that request for some weeks and may or may not have been capable of remembering the phrase when he was not feeling well, regardless of any past history of this boy or his mother being a PITA (as some of you seem to think),

NO teacher should EVER speak to a parent like that, or hang up

it is ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS!!

I have seen and heard teachers maintain their cool and hold their tongue when subjected to a torrent of abuse from pupils and parents, if this one cannot hold a civilised conversation with another adult over something so small, they are in the wrong job

I am worried about her taking it out on the pupil though, as i am certain the head will not be at all happy

or, perish the thought, will she deny it all and the head side with her??

YANBU how fucking rude of her to speak to anyone like that. Hope you give it to her with both barrels first chance you get!

I'm rubbish at french and would have resorted to speaking in a dodgy french accent and gesturing alot!

Yanbu lady,

its ridiculous that they even have to ask if they can remove their blazers. i dont ever remember having to ask at school.

i only did german at school and picked it up a bit, however others did struggle, i would have been mortified as a pupil if a teacher spoke to another pupil like that.

and as for the way she spoke to you well, its disgusting, and she needs to learn to respect others as equals

Some schools don't allow the removal of blazers as many of them are then left on chairs, forgotten about, or fiddled with.

This is one situation where you would have needed to have been there to get a full grasp of the situation. The OP says her ds can be challenging, perhaps this wasn't his first request? Perhaps he was being a bit naughty? Perhaps the whole class were being naughty?

I am struggling with a teacher saying be quiet and listen to me, I'm older than you.

Were you shouting/talking over her?

No one needs to grasp any situation ,it is NEVER acceptable for a teacher or for that matter any adult by telling them that tyhey are older than them and to sit down and listen.It costs nothing to be polite

on monday he was so hot he was dizzy

I think he probably did well to keep it together with 30 chidren looking at him and demanding that he ask in French in those circumstances.

there are people on MN who will say ANYTHING to defend any teacher, in any situation

because for some reason they are on a war footing where parents and children are concerned and regard any criticism of a teacher which is allowed to stand as a point scored for the enemy

you could post "My dd's Maths teacher pulled out all her fingernails with a pair of pliers in the middle of the Harvest Festival" and there would be a hardcore of MNers who would accuse you of opportunistic "teacher-bashing"

the French teacher was petty and childish towards your son and was then appallingly rude to you. But you knew that.