Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this teacher was very rude indeed!!!

201 replies

TheLadyEvilStar · 20/10/2010 12:20

OK DS1 is not the easiest pupil at times but the Monday he asked his french teacher if he could take his blazer off as he was hot. She told him not unless he asked in french, and apparently other pupils told him as well - I didn't think they had a right to tell another pupil what to do. Anyway - DS1 told her he felt dizzy and was too hot but she told him no he couldn't, rightly or wrongly he did anyway.

Yesterday I spoke to the head of house and expressed my concern that he had already informed the teacher he was feeling unwell and yet she wouldn't let him remove his blazer unless he asked in French. She said she agreed with me that it was wrong and she would have a word with her.

Roll on today the said french bitch teacher called me not 6 minutes ago and basically repeated what DS1 had said to me, I explained my feelings which are - and I quote "Some children are so much quicker at learning languages, I am 35 now and have never been brilliant at it"

The bitch teacher then replied "Now be quiet and listen to me, I am older than you"

I replied "Excuse me, I am not a pupil, I am the mother of a pupil"

She didn't like that and ended the call.

I am fucking furious, I have left a message for the head of house to call me ASAP.

OP posts:
CommanderCool · 20/10/2010 13:19

Why phone the school about something so trivial?

ZZZenAgain · 20/10/2010 13:20

if the school calls you, doesn't end up dealing with the issue on the phone but hangs up on you, what's the problem in calling back?

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 20/10/2010 13:20

CommanderCool Wed 20-Oct-10 13:14:15
I think your son was probably being a PITA. She got fed up. She is probably fed up with having to talk on the phone to you about this ridiculous incident when she has a million other things to do.

He got a bit hot. So what.

Commander how is asking to take your blazer off being a PITA? This is the first time I have spoken to this teacher. I was not rude to her and do not expect her to be rude to me.

He was feeling dizzy and hot, he wanted to take his blazer off there should not be a problem with that regardless of what language he spoke in.

OP posts:
Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 20/10/2010 13:22

ZZZ I emailed exactly what happened during the conversation and also left a message with reception for the head to call me asap. She will either email back or Call, she is good like that.

OP posts:
Onetoomanycornettos · 20/10/2010 13:22

Well, she could have handled it better, no doubt, but now it's escalated into a major rucus involving several staff members, all over a child who was a bit hot, was told to ask to remove his blazer in French, didn't, and removed it anyway. Perhaps she was hoping he'd work it out, or someone else would tell him rather than just simply disobeying what she'd said.

I think it's too much fussing and indignation, given you want to keep them onside given your son is quite difficult and they are normally very good. One slip up of judgement by a teacher doesn't really warrant all this, unless say your child was actually ill as a result.

JustAnother · 20/10/2010 13:23

if a person is hot/cold, s/he should be allowed to put more or less clothes on. It's not like he was not wearing anything underneath, right? How is anyone to dictate how your body temperature works? it is ridiculous. It would be as if I told my 55 year old colleague to keep her jumper on while she's having hot flushes.

ZZZenAgain · 20/10/2010 13:24

it'll be alright. The head has already said she agrees with you that the French teacher made a mistake. So I am sure she will agree with you that the French teacher's manner on the phone was inacceptable and I think she will have another go at speaking to the French teacher.

It'll work out, I wouldn't worry too much

ColdComfortFarm · 20/10/2010 13:27

I find it unbelievable that children aren't allowed to remove a layer of clothing when hot! How ridiculous.

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 20/10/2010 13:27

"given your son is quite difficult"

Given that my son has ODD and almost certainly has Aspergers as well. There is a difference between delibratly being a PITA and freezing when put on the spot.

OP posts:
IloveJudgeJudy · 20/10/2010 13:28

I agree with CommanderCool. You have posted many threads about your son and how you're so supportive of the school, but the minute anything happens that you don't agree with, you contact the school.

Why don't you say to your son that life is not fair, the teacher has 29 other children to deal with, at school you're not allowed to remove your blazer without permission (it's the same at most schools I know of) and why don't you just not sweat the small stuff?

Was your son taken to hospital because he was not allowed to remove his blazer. He is blinding you with all these small things that you really, for your own sanity, have to overlook. You can't always believe what your children tell you (as I know to my cost) as, like all people, they put their own slant on this. You are making a rod for your own back and not helping your son, keep going to school for every little thing.

If the teacher had hit him, that would be different. He just wasn't allowed to remove his blazer. No big deal. It hasn't really caused him any hardship, has it?

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 20/10/2010 13:29

Cold, they have to wear shirt, Tie, Jumper and Blazer. The heating is on already and windows shut - of course some are going to be too hot.

OP posts:
ZZZenAgain · 20/10/2010 13:33

forget the blazer thing, the school already agreed with you and it has been dealt with it seems.

Now you have to deal with the teacher and how she spoke to you on the phone. Her behaviour was so entirely unacceptable, there's no discussion. The head will apologise for it and might try to mediate or not but it'll be alright.

CommanderCool · 20/10/2010 13:34

It sounds like the reaction of a thoroughly fed up teacher, to me.

And yes she was unreasonable to some extent but I don't think this sort of thing occurs in isolation.

And perhaps she intended him to look the words up or attempt a sentence or for the rest of the class to show him, but it didn't work out that way.

Maybe the rest of the class joined in cos they were fed up with him too.

I just wouldn't speak to a house head about it. If I was feeling energetic I would maybe ask her about DS behaviour in her class.

Onetoomanycornettos · 20/10/2010 13:34

TheLadyEvilStar, I used the catch all phrase 'quite difficult' because I don't know the official diagnoses of your son, but I do know that jumping up and down about minor injustices, which happen to every child in a school career, means that when something really serious happens, you are in less of a position to make a fuss. How can teachers teach when they have to justify every small decision (yes, even the wrong ones)to parents in their breaks, see their head and so on, over something essentially trivial with no consequences.

CommanderCool · 20/10/2010 13:35

Or it could be she was having a bad day, personal problems and your son just got on the wrong end of it. These things happen.

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 20/10/2010 13:39

ILoveJudgeJudy Aside from anything the school are aware he suffers from RAS- reflex anoxic seizures. This can be brought on by many different things. Being too hot, too cold, dehydration, fear, shock. So I would expect that when he is telling a teacher he feels dizzy and is too hot, they understand and allow him (as all other teachers do) to remove his blazer. He was not asking to go for a walk, strip off, eat sweets, have a drink etc just to take a blazer off.

I don't go to the school as soon as somthing happens I don't like, I have always worked with the school and supported them fully.

On this occassion the teacher was wrong, especially the way she spoke to me.

OP posts:
MaudOHara · 20/10/2010 13:41

TLES - actually the over heating thing is particularly relevant as children with ASD oftne have a different temperature - DS will happily wear just a short sleeved shirt in the snow as he doesn't feel the cold but he does feel the heat and would also feel very uncomfortable in that situ

CommanderCool · 20/10/2010 13:42

Ahhh

My Dd2 suffers from these too. I have come into nursery to find her asleep in the house corner when she is too hot.

It sounds like a bad day for teacher and your DS.

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/10/2010 13:42

DD wasn't allowed to remove her blazer in class until the second half of teh summer term, no matter what the weather.

If dd had complained about this, I would have made soothing noises and just put it down to one of those incidents. And then assumed she would get over it. It is incredibly trivial, and just one of those mildly annoying things in life that you have to learn to shrug off.

I would not ring the school to speak to the teacher, then ring the head to complain about the teacher again. What is the point? Where has it got you? Just given your son the idea that he can complain about any mildly inconvenient request a teacher every makes of him, all he has to do is complain to you and you will be on the blower to the school in a flash.

Pointless, imo.

GetOrfMoiLand · 20/10/2010 13:43

X posts re seizures diagnosis.

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 20/10/2010 13:46

Getorf not being rude but did you read the whole thread? its Just I explained he panics when put on the spot, and that aside the RAS can be triggered by being too hot, the school are aware of this and whether he asks in swahili, german, french or english he should be permitted to remove his blazer - which he did because he felt dizzy and too hot.

Maud I did not know that, thankyou!

OP posts:
FleurDelacour · 20/10/2010 13:46

My DDs school expects questions to be asked in the appropriate language in MFL classes. All the students have a list of the questions they might ask in class (and the translation) stuck into their exercise books. It is only by using a language that you will learn it so it seems like a jolly good idea.

However the phone conversation is an entirely different matter. The teacher was extremely rude.

Khara · 20/10/2010 13:46

At my ds's school, they aren't allowed to remove their blazers unless the edict has come down from the head and that only happens in the heat of summer when it's approaching 30 degrees, certainly not in October.

But the way the teacher spoke to you on the phone was totally unacceptable.

Original poster
TheLadyEvilStar · 20/10/2010 13:47

Getorf X-Posted sorry!
He was diagnosed at the age of 5 and his schools have always been well informed by myself.

OP posts:
Beb · 20/10/2010 13:47

The only thing I don't understand - and please don't take offence to this - is that term started approx 7 weeks ago. So even if your son only has 1 hour of french a week, he has still sat through 7 hours of all the other students having to ask it in french. He has had seven weeks to learn this phrase and feel confident using it. No wonder all the other students told him he had to ask it in french - they've been doing it for 7weeks and probably don't like it very much either, and its only fair to treat them all equally!

Rather than getting in a tizz about one teacher's attitude, and writing lots of emails and letters, I would be spending that time to help my son practice the sentence he will need to say every french lesson for the next 4years through secondary school.