DH has been hinting for a while that he's bought me a present - it's been a while and I've been quite excited. It's sounded a bit bedroomy, and tbh I thought it was underwear.... until this morning. A root around in his sock drawer for a pair of sports socks for the gym, and I found two massive dildos - one black, one white - both fully erect, with all the veins and balls included too. I guess that's my 'present'. (And there was a present to him too, one of those weird jelly-like replica vaginas....) Sorry for the TMI.
I feel a bit revulsed. Over the years he's bought various sex toys - vibrators, butt plugs, cock rings etc, which I've tried out to keep him happy, but he's known they're not really my thing. Erotic literature I like, but porn - it's just so fake and often a bit disturbing. If I'm honest, I'm actually a vanilla type of girl - a straightforward shag and a snog does it for me. The sex toys and porn seem weird, and just (for me this is) take sex from something natural to a process that feels unnatural. We've talked about sex lots over the years - well with 3 young children, it's dipped a bit. We decided recently to get our sex life up from a once a week to every other day, and that's been going ok, but I'm just a bit floored by the dildo discovery.
I guess what I'm asking the mumsnet massive is....
How do I explain to my husband (gently - he doesn't take criticism well) that the present he's bought me isn't my thing at all. How would you deal with it - would you even deal with it - and can we find some sort of sexual equilibrium?
There is also another option of course - that these aren't meant for me at all - but to be used on him....