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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think men are slightly deluded? - Penis sizes

91 replies

MsBehaved · 06/10/2010 01:12

I can't be the only one whose DH/DP has strange delusions of how long his length is?

My DP swears blind that he has 9 inches, when he has a generous 6. How ever much I try to tell him that is 6 and that it's not a bad thing (I don't think I could manage 9) he still is adamant that he's right!

Yet he won't get out the ruler to prove it :o

So come forth and tell your tales of deluded penis sizes, so I don't feel like I'm the only person banging my head against a brick wall! :o

OP posts:

FunkyCherry · 06/10/2010 02:05

Whenever my DH starts daft discussions like this with me, I just assure him I have seen a greater number of erect penises than him, unless he has a confession to make.

All I would say to 9 inches is 'ouch!'

TechLovingDad · 06/10/2010 02:09

The thing is not to say "oh no it isn't". There aren't too many things guaranteed to make us feel small, if you'll pardon the pun.

Just say, oh dear it's massive and leave it at that. We know you don't believe us, we just don't need to hear it.

TechLovingDad · 06/10/2010 02:10

Anyway, how many women think their arses are bigger than they are?

Think on that...

Original poster

MsBehaved · 06/10/2010 02:18

lol @techlovingdad so true!

Hmm... Maybe I should just entertain him then?

Maybe I should tell him my C cups are double G's and see how long it takes him to point out that they're not?

OP posts:

TechLovingDad · 06/10/2010 02:23

I'm sure he'll be happy whatever they are. In fact, if you ask, are these a handful, he'll be sure to give you an answer.

BitOfFun · 06/10/2010 02:28

I am put in mind of the joke about why women can't parallel park...because they have always been told that six inches is > this big.

TechLovingDad · 06/10/2010 02:29

yeah, yeah, that old chestnut.

Come on, which woman would like their partner to say "yes, love, your arse DOES look big in that"?

BitOfFun · 06/10/2010 02:34

You say that like it's a bad thing?

TechLovingDad · 06/10/2010 02:36

Of course not, but turning to your beloved and saying "thanks darling, by the way, you have a tiny cock", isn't really going to get him smiling along.

Original poster

MsBehaved · 06/10/2010 02:40

Haha, I have never told him he has a tiny cock, I simply tell him that it's not 9 inches and that it's good because that would be too big.

I wouldn't want his penis to be any bigger than it is. It just isn't 9 inches.

And plus, if he goes around telling all his friends he has 9 inches, they're all going to thing I'm bigger down there too, right??

OP posts:

TechLovingDad · 06/10/2010 02:47

Nope, they won't think that at all. They'll look at their own little chipolatas and think, "well mine must be 10 inches then".

Stop telling him it's not 9 inches. You don't have to lie, just change the wording.
"Well big boy, it fits me perfectly". You're not saying you agree, nor are you saying it's not 9 inches (which to him will sound like, you have a tiny cock).

annapolly · 06/10/2010 11:24

Is 9 inches not normal then. I don't know because I have only seen one.

My DH only brags about the fact that he can touch the end of his nose with his tongue.

(re other thread, I said I don't know why I put up with him. I just remembered.)

chiaroscuro · 06/10/2010 11:30

I thought you were going to say your DH could touch the end of his nose with 'his' anna!! now that would be a neat trick!!

Nancy66 · 06/10/2010 11:34

men under 6ft all insist they're taller than they are too.

Lost count of the number of '5ft 10 and 5ft 11' blokes I dated - who were actually 5ft 7

mayorquimby · 06/10/2010 11:40

I'm the opposite Nancy. I'm 5'7". I'm pretty adamant I'm 5'7". yet my gf and sister among others are adamant I'm at least 5'8" but I'm pretty sure that they only say this to make themselves feel better because I'm taller than them and they both think they're 5'7". Also I'm fairly broad shouldered and in shape so I'm kind of deceptively short but I am without a doubt a shortie.

TrillianAstra · 06/10/2010 11:41

'Your cock is magnificent darling, however your concept of what "an inch" is seems to be a little off'

TrillianAstra · 06/10/2010 11:42

DP doesn't claim to know his cock size in inches, because, well, why would he?

droves · 06/10/2010 11:44

Msbehaved , ask him is hes getting inches and centimeters confused ?

reminds me old saying . . .

give a guy an inch and he`ll take a mile

give a girl an inch and she`ll laugh her head off !

DuelingFanjo · 06/10/2010 11:44

you actually have conversations about the size of his penis. How odd.

droves · 06/10/2010 11:49

what size is his balls ?

i had a ex who had a smaller than average man-bit....but he had huge balls.

mabey ball size is a way to subdue his ego ?

Now im wondering is there a ball to penis ratio or something ?

droves · 06/10/2010 11:50

why did i post that ?

BalloonSlayer · 06/10/2010 11:55

He is measuring it from the wrong side.

If you measure it from the top, so to speak you get the real size.

If you measure it underneath you can make the "starting point" as far back as you like (even as far back as the bumhole if you're desperate) and get a measurement as large as you desire.

droves · 06/10/2010 11:55

Why havent men gone metric in that area ?

Lets be honest , 15 cm sounds more impressive that 6 inches ...its defo a larger number.

chiaroscuro · 06/10/2010 12:21

Do M and S do jock strap fitting?

nocake · 06/10/2010 12:22

Why does he care how big it is? Surely all that matters is if you think it's big enough?

Unless they've got some sort of competition going on in the office.

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