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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to tell my son the truth?

248 replies

MuddlePuddle86 · 03/10/2010 18:32

Evening ladies,
Here is my predicament. I know most of you go ott about christmas, however, as born again Christians my dh and I don't want to tell our son about father Christmas, a) because it's lying and b) because we think Christmas is an important celebration in itself.
My mother, also a born again Christian, has said that it isn't fair and I should lead my son down the father Christmas path.
We obviously exchange gifts, but we also sacrifice something to the relevant place (eg a console to the childrens' wing of the hospital etc) and we sacrifice something of use to us that we could do without and someone else can benefit from. My son is only 8 months old but I am seriously considering home schooling, so it's not as if he can "ruin" it for the other children...but I don't feel comfortable with lying about something that is so important to us (this is in no way criticising those of you that do).

OP posts:
Hassled · 03/10/2010 20:59

missmoopy - Jesus did exist. He was a historical figure - mentioned in texts other than the Bible. What's up for debate is whether he was the son of God, not whether he existed.

MrsC2010 · 03/10/2010 21:04

I think you will need to let your son make his own choices when he is old enough. Stating that you can tell him about FC as long as he rejects the idea is a little off.

Imisssleeping · 03/10/2010 21:06

It is a fairy story, fable, folklore.
There is absolutely no proof Jesus existed.
Not aware that people can come back from the dead, therefore a myth.

martine66 · 03/10/2010 21:07

I asked my older kids what would they have preferred and they said they enjoyed the idea as it was make believe and was fun why spoil it, and they would do father christmas etc with their own children one day,

missmoopy · 03/10/2010 21:07

So he existed, but I am fairly sure basing an entire belief system on wether he was the son of god (he wasn;t btw, there is no god!!) is just as 'fairy tale' as santa etc.

newwave · 03/10/2010 21:09

Muddle, you do realise there is as much chance of Father Christmas existing as there is of a God.

"Home schooling" dont you mean home indoctrination.

Your a good reason to stop free schools

missmoopy · 03/10/2010 21:09

Here here newwave.

Hassled · 03/10/2010 21:11

Actually, since my last confident assertion, I've been on Wiki, and it turns out his historical existence is also up for debate :o. Quite interesting. Historians are divided, despite Jesus being mentioned elsewhere - there are no references to him which were written at the time he was around, it seems, which casts doubt re what was myth and what was fact.

bitofalurker · 03/10/2010 21:15

Muddle - sorry you seem to have had a bit of a hard time of it on this thread; AIBU is generally somewhere to avoid posting I think!

My dad used to worry about lying to us about FC, so he never said anything to imply FC was real but we did have stockings and leave out carrots in case the reindeer were hungry etc (he was an agnostic, it wasn't anything to do with religious beliefs). He used to ask questions like "how do you think FC gets round all the houses in one night/into the place we were staying one Christmas with no chimney" etc and we played a game of imagining how it could be done. He never spoilt the "magic" of it all but I don't think there was ever a time when I actually believed in FC; it was just a bit of fun.

When we had kids we debated how to do things at Christmas as we're Christian (and so are my parents now too :) ) and obviously want the emphasis to be on Jesus rather than presents etc. So we do stockings but with a serious lack of subtlety! - eldest was 5 last Christmas and she seemed to know it's not true and it was more of a game(given away by the stocking presents having similar handwriting to mine & dhs I think, and the same wrapping paper as the ones under the tree) but she played along with it for her little brother and certainly hasn't lost out (imo). In future years we might also talk about it in relation to St Nicholas
Hth

missmoopy · 03/10/2010 21:16

A bloke called Jesus probably did exist at some point and was a good egg. Some scary assed men then made up a big story to control and subjugate people based on lies and indoctrination.

In the 21st century we should now have realised that its cobblers.

ornamentalcabbage · 03/10/2010 21:19

Yet more christian bashing. YAWN

IAmFatherChristmas · 03/10/2010 21:23

I most certainly do exist.

This thread is making big fat tears roll down into my beard.

Imisssleeping · 03/10/2010 21:27

IAFC sorry, I did say I liked you more than Jesus.
Please can I have a new Vac, laptop and peace on earth
thanks
much love

Imisssleeping · 03/10/2010 21:27

Please don't cry

newwave · 03/10/2010 21:33

Where is my bloody new laptop I asked for last year Angry lazy sod, one nights work a year no wonder you are so fat :o

Imisssleeping · 03/10/2010 21:36

Oi! newwave, that's my bessie mate your slagging off !

JeezyPeeps · 03/10/2010 21:38

I don't plan to read 7 pages of responses so this may already have been said, but what concerns me about the OP is "My son is only 8 months old but I am seriously considering home schooling, so it's not as if he can "ruin" it for the other children"

Now, I'm not against home schooling - but are you going to segregate your child from other children entirely? The best home-schoolers I know encourgage their children to have an active social life with their peers outwith school.

PotPourri · 03/10/2010 21:39

I'm a christian, not born again. I don't tell malicious lies, but I do allow my children to have magic at Christmas. Christmas centres around Christ being born, family, and giving. And Father Christmas/St Nicholas/Santa Claus fits in well as it is about selfless giving and joy.

Read "The Grinch who stole Christmas - Dr Seuss", it may make you feel differently

P.S. I also tell lies to my friend when they ask if their eyebrows have been plucked too much, or if they look ok on their way to an important meeting or something. It's not malicious, it's kind and caring. Santa brings joy and is a lovely addition to Christmas imo

IAmFatherChristmas · 03/10/2010 21:40

Not fat. I am just big-boned.

IAmFatherChristmas · 03/10/2010 21:41

Thank you for your support Imisssleeping. You are on the good list my dear. However, as you can imagine, a laptop may not be possible in the current economic climate. I shall do my best.

roomonthebroom · 03/10/2010 21:43

If you feel so strongly about it, tell him some people believe in father Christmas but you don't.

For what it's worth, our neighbours are Muslims and Santa visits their house on the 25th of December.

Imisssleeping · 03/10/2010 21:45

Ok just a Vac and peace on earth then.
Oh and chuck some crayons in for DS will ya ?

Olifin · 03/10/2010 21:47

Really dismayed at how many people have said that children stop believing in FC at about 5/6 years. Our DD has just turned 5 and I thought we had years of FC left to enjoy. I'm sure I was older than 5 when I realised.

JeezyPeeps · 03/10/2010 21:48

Olifin, maybe it depends where you are (and how likely older kids at school are to spoil it), but mine were more like 9 or 10.

Hope that gives you some hope :)

newwave · 03/10/2010 21:49

Imisssleeping

Less grovelling if you please.

If you had brought it last year it would not be a problem. fatty, big boned my arse :)