to tell my son the truth?

[MuddlePuddle86]

Evening ladies,
Here is my predicament. I know most of you go ott about christmas, however, as born again Christians my dh and I don't want to tell our son about father Christmas, a) because it's lying and b) because we think Christmas is an important celebration in itself.
My mother, also a born again Christian, has said that it isn't fair and I should lead my son down the father Christmas path.
We obviously exchange gifts, but we also sacrifice something to the relevant place (eg a console to the childrens' wing of the hospital etc) and we sacrifice something of use to us that we could do without and someone else can benefit from. My son is only 8 months old but I am seriously considering home schooling, so it's not as if he can "ruin" it for the other children...but I don't feel comfortable with lying about something that is so important to us (this is in no way criticising those of you that do).

Apologies, I'm new and didn't realise that there was a religious/spiritual "bit".

hmmmm...except that Jesus wasn't born at Christmas, was he, and it's a hijacked 'pagan' and Roman festival, so you are being hypocritical celebrating the birth of Christ in December in the first place.

I think you stand to do an awful lot of harm to your son by excluding him from the influence of the rest of society.

You did ask for opinions.

Well I feel I must add this as it concerns you all!!!

IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE YOU AREN'T GETTING ANYTHING THIS YEAR SO THERE!!!!!!!!!!

Me and DP are Atheists (you might have guessed ), as are all our respective parents and we and our brothers always believed in Santa, fairies, etc., when we were very little. Apart from my parents wanting me and my brother to make up our own minds on things (we experienced most faiths growing up), it's lovely for kids to believe in magic and helps them develop their imagination, creativity and sense of discovery and learning. I often wonder if wanting that lovely sense of wonder to continue is a small part of what makes adults be religious (I mean that nicely, as it must be enjoyable).

We have Xmas - and we literally call it Ex-mas! - because to us it means a time when all the family gets together and shares their love and memories and everyone takes a break from the humdrum. I think that's what it means to most people nowadays. That and eating like a pig and zoning out in front of the new Dr Who special

Hmm, will Dr Who be banned too for this poor kid?

[[http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/philosophy_religion_spirituality The religion section is over here]

Welsome to mumsnet Muddypuddles, we're a nice bunch really.

• welcome

that didn't work, try again

As others have said, christmas is magical when the little ones believe, and my favourite thing ever is putting them to bed on xmas eve and their faces the next morning when they think he has been. The years between them understanding and then realising Fc does not exist are about 3 yrs-why would you not want to tell them, it's part of the magic of christmas. My DS1 is 5-nearly 6-and I nearly cried the other day when I realised it could be his last year of believing and it will be the first yr DS2 is old enough to believe. As for not telling them lies-I can't see how you can bring up children and not tell them lies-it's hardly going to scar them for life. As others have said, the tooth fairy, easter bunny and a million other little lies how can you not do this?

Try not to worry about it for this christmas and observe how other parents with your beliefs handle it. It is wonderful to have a child run into my bedroom christmas morning dragging a stocking saying "He's been". It might be a story but it is part of most childrens childhood that they gradually grow out of and look back at fondly. A half eaten mince pie is as exciting as the presents. You only need to go along with it for a few years, you might not agree with the concept but is it really going to cause any damage?

Haven't read all this but it is a lie to say a man comes down the chimney and delivers presents, isn't it? As long as we all agree on the definition of a lie. telling a story and saying this is a story is different IMO. It's no big deal not to bring FC into your child's life.

"The difference being...Jesus did exist"

That's speculation.
It's not fact.

"I think you will be doing your son more of a
service if he grows up able to distinguish different types of narratives."

Very true. I don't suppose my children ever believed in the Tooth Fairy, nor in Father Christmas after the age of about 4, but they understand the fun of make-believe. It's a game we play together. Telling lies is something totally different. I know many many Christian families who have used both the tooth fairy and Santa, and not a single one of those children has grown up believing in Santa the way they believe in Jesus.

What will MuddlePuddle do re the Tooth Fairy, I wonder?

It will be fine, we are muslim and i worried about it when dd was little but it has turned out fine. She wrote a letter to fc (asking for ice skates) and saw him at preschool xmas party last yr in preschool, but told the teachers in one to one converstaions that were recorded for ofsted obs that we had two Eids when she got presents and did not have an xmas tree.

I would recommend not making a fuss but carrying on quietly and dealing with any questions as they arise.

hassled* I have covered this point in the thread.

whats so bad about the truth though??...Your parents saved and worked all year to buy you gifts you wanted because they love you and want to see the smile on your face and excitement in your eyes!!..This is a time everyone can come together and we can enjoy each others company..no need for FC..

lol@TLE

littleducks thank you :)

If you're a "born again Christian" why are you celebrating a pagan festival?

Your poor, poor little boy, you are brainwashing him from the start.

Jesus is real, Father Christmas is not !!!

To me that sounds absoloutely ludicrous
Neither of them are real, but Father Christmas brings more happiness to alot of peoples lives than the fairy tale, that is Jesus, does.
Amen

When he was a baby We decided not to lie to DS about Santa. He has a stocking of presents ( little things ) to open on christmas morning, but some will be from named people, some not.

age 9 months he didn't notice santa.
age 1 he was terrified of the santas who came to toddler group party's.
Age 2 he was still not keen on santa.
Age 3, he was intrigued and not sure how "real" santa was, said he thought santa had lots of helpers like mummies. BUT wanted to look out for santa at party's and would pretend he could hear sleigh bells and had seen flying reindeer.
Age 4 - NOW. He wonders how santa can get to every ones house in one night, has theorised that santa goes to the children who don't live with their parents and parenst do the rest, Knows that all the party/ shop santas are people dressed up for fun, wants his stocking left out downstairs and says santa will sprinkle magic dust to make a second chimney appear to come down as our chimney is blocked by the wood burner...

So, does he believe in santa, probadly not, does he like the pretend and excitement around santa, yes.

and finally- better a chocolate santa than a chocolate baby jesus ....

MCP What??? I am seriarse you know!!!

Childhood should be magical. That means Santa, the Tooth Fairy, teh Easter Bunny etc etc. Your child doesn't get the magic because of YOUR religious beliefs?
YABU

And Jesus existed? Fairly sure thats not proven is it?

we are arguing over imaginary friends ladies.

All the Jesus bullshite stories are just that, as are the father christmas ones.

FC is fun, brings you pressies, lets you eat choc before brekkie.

Jesus is hilarious boring, fake, and argumentative. No-one argues over FC!

FC- my new religion