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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think that my stupid sister is an idiot as she has just outed the gender of her bump on facebook?

183 replies

nickelbabe · 29/09/2010 17:00

She was asked on Facebook by me and a couple of her other fb friends that she not put what the sex of her bump is (she's 22weeks). She's managed that fine on her own posts, but she's commented on one of her friend's statuses thus:
"Alls well here....Bump getting a little bigger, been spending lots of money on clothes for him....." (forgive her punctuation errors - she hardly ever went to school Hmm)

how stupid is she????? Angry

surely she knows that I can see all the posts she's written, not just the posts that she's started?

I'm soooooooooo mad at her.

OP posts:
BlueFergie · 29/09/2010 17:11

I found out the sex with both mine. I refused to try and keep it secret for other people who didn't want to know. My logic was that it was my pregnancy and my baby. I don't make other people get the doctor to write down the sex and pass it on to me as I prefer to know the sex of babies so I am not going to oblige people by not discussing my baby openly when around them. If you want a surprise have your own baby. Aslo one of the main reasons I liked to find out is that I hated calling them 'it' felt really weird and wasn't going to continue doing it just to suit others.

So yes YABU. Your sister was nice to even attempt to keep it quiet for you, but it was always going to slip out at some stage, especially as she got used to saying him

Morloth · 29/09/2010 17:11

Are you serious? I know this may come as a shock, but your sister's pregnancy is not actually about you. She can talk about as and when and to who she wishes.

This is not normal behaviour.

julybutterfly · 29/09/2010 17:11

'thought she might have grown up a bit' Confused

She was 'talking' to HER friend about HER baby.

YABU

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 29/09/2010 17:11

"She's always been like this"

What, you mean not abided by every one of your (slightly baffling) foibles?

Sorry - but YABU!

emmyloulou · 29/09/2010 17:11

It's her baby, not yours, so your issue is?

It's easy to let slip, she obviously asked to find out the gender so is probably bursting to tell someone and probably thinks (rightly) you are selfish for putting her under so much pressure.

What an odd thread. So much unecessary nastiness on your behalf nickel.

JoanHolloway · 29/09/2010 17:11
Confused
Original poster
nickelbabe · 29/09/2010 17:12

bigchris: "You sound really bitchy towards her, mocking her spelling, inability to keep secrets and schooling"

can't help it, was angry. :(
and her spelling is crap - she skived a lot - she did nto have a valid reason not to go to school - her attitude was awful when she was a schoolchild and she played truant quite a lot. she is very intelligent, but has never applied herself.

OP posts:
lifeinagoldfishbowl · 29/09/2010 17:12

"You have no right to expect someone else's baby's gender to be kept a surprise because you want a surprise"

Agree - why did you want it to be a suprise? Do you insist that your friends/colleagues etc don't tell you what gender they're having - what if people throw a pink baby shower for someone would you feel insulted that they hadn't kept it secret from you?

Can you explain why you wanted her to keep it a secret from you and why it's upset you?

LadyBiscuit · 29/09/2010 17:12

I think you're being totally unreasonable. And sound a bit bonkers to be honest. It's her secret, not yours.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 29/09/2010 17:12

Confused indeed, Joan.

This is one of the most bizarre AIBUs I've ever read.

Lotkinsgonecurly · 29/09/2010 17:13

I'm not really understanding why you don't want to know the sex of her baby? It's not really anything to do with you.

It's up to her if she chooses to find out before. It's not something that I did before the births of my dc but for those friends that did know everyone was genuinely pleased for them that they knew. People have different reasons for finding out etc.

Are there other issues you have with the pregnancy, other than just the sex of the baby?

Morloth · 29/09/2010 17:13

I don't think your sister is the one with the issues here.

megapixels · 29/09/2010 17:14

Do you have children OP? It all sounds a bit weird really, all this about her baby's gender being a surprise for you. YAB completely U and I'm surprised you can't see it.

Rockbird · 29/09/2010 17:14

What exactly has that got to do with her not taking your every wish regarding her pg into consideration? Sorry to be harsh but I think you're bonkers!

ChickensHaveNoEyebrows · 29/09/2010 17:14

But why are you so angry? It's not your baby. You seem to have a completely irrational sense of 'ownership' over your sisters pregnancy Confused

SparkyMalarky · 29/09/2010 17:14

YABU - the sex of her baby is not your surprise. Would you ask her DH/ your mum etc not to tell you what birthday/Xmas presents they've got her so that it's a surprise for you too?

lifeinagoldfishbowl · 29/09/2010 17:14

Does it matter that she didn't have a good reason not to truant? Why does it matter to you? I would hate to think that my sister thinks that I'm intelligent but didn't apply myself (she's going to uni and I didn't) :(

ProfessorLaytonIsMyLoveSlave · 29/09/2010 17:14

YABU to expect her to make an effort to keep the gender of her baby from you just because you "like to wait". You are very lucky that she's happy to go along with your demands.

YAB very U to get annoyed/upset that having tried to go along with your wishes she makes one small slip.

YAB really quite unbelievably U to put the fact that she doesn't arrange her life (up to and including how she refers to her unborn baby when communicating with her friends) to suit you down to her being "stupid" and needing to "grow up a bit". And then to complain about it with Angry and Sad faces.

You don't like it, you put yourself through the effort and don't read Facebook for a few months.

DaisySteiner · 29/09/2010 17:14

This is the most bonkers AIBU I've ever read! You are craaaazy lady.

prozacfairy · 29/09/2010 17:15

and her spelling is crap - she skived a lot - she did nto have a valid reason not to go to school - her attitude was awful when she was a schoolchild and she played truant quite a lot. she is very intelligent, but has never applied herself.

Erm... So what?

The person she was as a child isn't the person she is now. And even if it was I still dont get what that has to do with sharing the happy news that she appears to be having a boy! Hmm

prettyfly1 · 29/09/2010 17:15

UUURRRRGGHHHHH controlling much? NOT your baby, NOT your decision and the way you talk about her is outrageous. Yuck. YABVVVU.

traceybath · 29/09/2010 17:15

How very bizarre. Her baby her decision to find out sex and tell whoever she wants.

Hey - just think you had the surprise today rather than in 17 weeks Smile

5DollarShake · 29/09/2010 17:15

Berluddy hell. Shock

Talk about a totally disproportionate reaction. Clearly way more to your relationship with your sister than meets the eye.

YABU. But I think you must now realise that, right?

Lulumaam · 29/09/2010 17:15

you are being just awful!!!!

really awful, she's your sister

if you despise her so much, block her off facebook!

if you were that precious about not knowing, then you hosuld have presumed that not everyone else was and therefore it was likely the news would be on facebook and you should have blocked her at least for the pregnancy

how awful, instead of being happy she is carrying a healthy baby bouy, your nephew, you are getting pissy about her entire life and behaviour

you need to examine why you feel so strongly

AnyFucker · 29/09/2010 17:16

this thread illustrates to me that "you can choose your friends, but you can't choose your family...."

nickel, I am pretty sure that you are usually a normal type of poster ?

what happened to you ? Have you been replaced by a green-eyed monster ?