AIBU to be losing the will to live with MN. Let's ban the following!

[proudnglad]

Yes, yes it's a thread about threads. Yes it's grumpy. But FFS what is going on MN?? Can we please ban the following on AIBU:

Facebook threads

Threads where the OP is 62 paragraphs long (fair enough if it's emotional with a long back story but when it's about a fight with your MIL over a satsuma - MAKE IT SHORT)

Gender threads - no-one likes their sons more than their daughters ok??

Fabricated dialogue - 'a man in the supermarket told me to remove my dd's filthy little hand from his trolley or he would call security, AIBU to tell him to piss off?'. No he didn't say that. You are making it up. Go away.

Any others?

No, I mean I thought the random Po on a post earlier referred to a loo. Not a tellytubby.
at La-la

mine are

attention seeking

sucking upto longtime posters

not coming back (op)to thread especially if a serious topic

i would like to add when i have mentioned all the above on particular threads,obviously not all at once have had some really rude /agressive replys

Any conception thread where it's along the lines of:

"I want to plan for my baby to emerge as the final world cup goal is scored/to fit in with my work holiday schedule/between Eastenders and Corrie on the 17th September... when do I need to have sex to achieve this?"

When you point out that there are long-termers around who've been trying for year after year after year you're shouted down as being discouraging and pessimistic. Worst thing is - aforementioned idiot living in Cloud Cuckoo Land usually DOES get lucky with timing and then proceeds to lecture everyone else about how "I only had sex the once on the day I planned and I fell pregnant" and tells them how they're doing it wrong.

Oh and your story of hope about how it took you a horrific 2 months to get pregnant doesn't encourage us - it just makes us want to poke your eyes out - yet ettiquette demands we thank you profusely and revere your superior ovaries - but we still want to poke you in the eyes. But that's a conception/miscarriage/infertility board in general bug that one.

oh and countless times the posters child ISNT at fault always somebody elses

and to many threads child related (dont we spend enough time with them in the day)the one time there tucked up and we all still bloody talk about them

ooh thumbwitch
we're going to have to agree to disagree about the satsuma/clementine issue
don't want things to turn ugly

any form of text speak should be filtered out at the 'post message' stage

but clementines are better! ha!

Add using capitals and not using paragraphs to that.

I think that comes under the general "smug" category. I still regret not punching the stupid woman who bragged to me that all her four dcs were planned to be twenty months apart which everyone knew was the optimum age gap.

Back to the boastful parents - that G&T section... it is extraordinary

Ok, I'll let you believe that clementines are better than satsumas if it makes you happy, but deep inside I'll still know that You Are Wrong.

The best satsuma is better than the best clementine. But the average clementine is better than the average satsuma.

What ever happened to manderins... didn't they exist in the 70s or did I make that up or did my mum mean tangerines?

They were minging - sharp and sloppy. Nasty little fuckers.

proudnglad - in australia, they seem to be all called mandarins. But they mostly taste and look like satsumas. Clementines - can't remember if I've seen them or not (I automatically blank them out, nasty things ) and they vary eNORmously in quality. But the good ones are very good.

am looking at corkythecat's post and trying to understand the tangerine family tree
am confused though

so are all small orange things mandarins?

here y'are Cat - the Definitive Answer. :)

or here for Wiki's answer

I saw a fat woman and it made me feel sick...aibu? Yes..you are. People are all sizes and shapes. Deal with it.

My child was the only one not asked to a friend's party. How could they be so mean? This isn't mean. This is a good lesson for your child to learn. Mine learnt it at 4 when she wasn't asked to XXX's party. She learned that she won't always be everybody's friend. Now she's nearly 10. She knows she won't be everyone's friend for ever. Do your child a favour. Teach them now. THE WORLD DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND THEM!

How could anyone wear this coat with those trousers? Turn up for school pick up in pyjamas? Not shave their legs for a year? It's easy. I could teach you in seconds. Now fuck off and leave the majority of us who are content with our slobbery alone.

Threads that criticise SAHMs or WOHMs or whatever other bloody silly anacronym you might find for people who work or don't. Who cares? People with too much time on their hands. The rest of us don't give a shit. We're too busy dealing with our own lives. So should you.

Sorry...not well today. Was going to post in AIBU about my doctor, but decided (after reading this) it was trivial. Has made me grumpy :(

So, aaaallll of them are mandarins?? Wow, to think I challenged my mother's integrity, memory and honesty over this.

I have a LOT of making up to do.

Even worse than people hijacking threads are people who find an answer doing a Google search and then cut and paste something from one of the results, phrasing it as a question.

Thank you very much, thumbwitch, for linking to the Yahoo! Answers thread, the title of which I cut and pasted for my original question .

?? no idea what you're on about TheBeast.

Any posts which just point out some obscure grammar rule that you have broken. No, I'm not brilliant at spelling or grammar, that does not make me thick and does not mean that you are superior to me. It is also not relevant to the original post at all. Oh and not being brilliant with apostrophes is not the crime of the century!

*I'm not talking about obvious text speak, just small mistakes that nobody would notice unless they were actively looking for them.

Oh and Clementines are much nicer than satsumas

Thumbwitch you have contravened the Cut And Paste Patent Rule 304.1

Anyway back to mandarins...

didn't C&P anything, can't see what TheBeast is on about! IF anyone is AT ALL bothered, my Google search was Mandarins vs Clementines vs Satsumas, not that it should make the SLIGHTEST bit of difference to my answer to CatIsSleepy!

I'd also ban 'Ooohh isn't it awful?' threads. No comment. Nothing useful to say. No additional information. A conversation killer. Just some link to an obscure story about a guinea-pig/fox/small child being dyed purple/microwaved/eaten by a rottweiller and a generic 'Isn't it awful?' one-liner together with .... just in case we were in any doubt how we are meant to feel about it.

Anything relating to East fecking enders, Big feckingbrother or any other kind of sleb twaddle.

Oh manderines? probably re-branded....