AIBU to be losing the will to live with MN. Let's ban the following!

[proudnglad]

Yes, yes it's a thread about threads. Yes it's grumpy. But FFS what is going on MN?? Can we please ban the following on AIBU:

Facebook threads

Threads where the OP is 62 paragraphs long (fair enough if it's emotional with a long back story but when it's about a fight with your MIL over a satsuma - MAKE IT SHORT)

Gender threads - no-one likes their sons more than their daughters ok??

Fabricated dialogue - 'a man in the supermarket told me to remove my dd's filthy little hand from his trolley or he would call security, AIBU to tell him to piss off?'. No he didn't say that. You are making it up. Go away.

Any others?

catinthehat

That looks to me like a thread about bikes.

Mayhap a solid steed would be more likely betwixt these thighs....

Multiple thread starters.

in AIBU: "AIBU to want a good school in Northampton?"

in Education: "Can anyone recommend a good school in Northampton?"

in Secondary: "What is the catchment for Peabody High in Northampton?"

in Primary: "Anyone know about schools in Northampton?"

in chicken keepers: "can anyone tell me about schools in Northampton?"

And such people are always thread starters , but are never participants - they are just takers, not givers.

Personal grrrrrr of mine.

So are there any good schools in Northamton?

Yes but am I pregnant or not?

Toiletbrushes!

Loving this thread! Best laugh I've had in a long time

the please vote for my dog in this comp type threads
the hysterical ban the whatever, join boycott's but don't argue with me as I am right threads

wow that feels better

proudnglad - oh you poor thing if only there was some way you could find out either naturally (maybe some sign from your body 4 weeks after conception perhaps?) or it would be nice if you could buy some kind of test or go to your GP.

Tell you what I'll hang around and hold your hand for 9 months and we'll see if a baby falls out

There's nothing left, thank god. Agree with every single post

12 pages. What an excellent use for my morning. :)

I hate it when people double-post

I hate it when people double-post

thanks for the advice honey but am I pregnant or not?

And whoever mentioned the Gifted & Talented thread yesterday...I went on there this morn. OMG it is hilarious.

What I love is 'Is my 7 year old G&T?'

All the responses are always a resounding 'No that sounds completely average'

Then OP says 'Well we KNOW she is because we have deep conversations with her and she understands stuff and that'

Mine main annoyance isn't at the OP, but at the responses to those OP...
I really dislike it when I see nearly identical OP's, but completely different reactions to the OP.
One OP ends up getting bashed to pieces, told they're BVU, and some poster points out that the OP's child is obviously devil spawn.
The other OP is told no, NBU, that the whole world is wrong, and all the subsequent posters are very supportive and threating to hunt down the subject of the OP and sort 'em out.

Threads disappearing while I am actually doing some work, so I never find out what happened.....

Threads where the OP comes on and ostensibly asks for advice, is given advice, and then give 100 reasons why she/he can't take the advice and you realise they are using the thread for venting and don't intend doing anything at all. This is very depressing especially if the OP is with an abusive partner who is ruining her life.

Threads that equate G&T with "genius", there probably are 6-10 mumsnetters who truly have remarkable chldren and they should be allowed G&T, everyone else should stop being so precious.

Threads about the Oxford Reading Tree, as the whole reading scheme is a work of the devil and should be ritually burned.

Threads that equate state school with Borstal.

I don't understand baby names threads, are you clinically thick? Do you have so little confidence you want a vote by strangers on your child's name...a name you and your family will live with gor 40 years and the strangers will forget in 1 minute?

I hate any small orange peelable fruit.

cumfy, the toilet brush thread is killing me. I thought it would be really gross "not for fainthearted" MY FAT ARSE

Or the 'reverse G&T' threads - someone says "is my child G&T because she can count to 100 and she's only 6 months old" and people reply with stuff about how their 2 year old can play Fur Elise in its entirety/has memorised the complete works of Shakespeare/can describe at length the life cycle of the mayfly but "we don't think anything of it, it's not that big a deal really"

The toilet brush thread was genius. I was pissing myself at responses.