AIBU to be losing the will to live with MN. Let's ban the following!

[proudnglad]

Yes, yes it's a thread about threads. Yes it's grumpy. But FFS what is going on MN?? Can we please ban the following on AIBU:

Facebook threads

Threads where the OP is 62 paragraphs long (fair enough if it's emotional with a long back story but when it's about a fight with your MIL over a satsuma - MAKE IT SHORT)

Gender threads - no-one likes their sons more than their daughters ok??

Fabricated dialogue - 'a man in the supermarket told me to remove my dd's filthy little hand from his trolley or he would call security, AIBU to tell him to piss off?'. No he didn't say that. You are making it up. Go away.

Any others?

Can we ban anyone who says, "But childcare should come out of your DH's salary too!" whenever you say you can't afford to work?

Because what these numpties don't seem to realise is that no matter whose salary you pedantically claim the childcare comes out of, if your family are hundreds of pounds worse off when you go back to work, it really doesn't matter!!

There's always at least one on any thread about the cost of childcare and it drives me nuts!

Thank you, I feel better now!

Does R7 exist?

I am either listening to it right now or that half a diazapam I took earlier has kicked in stronger than I anticipated.

Childcare costs money unless you can get it for free.

End of thread and debate

That's how they should go

SAHMs (NOT tarring all SAHMs with this brush BTW) who say "well we made sacrifices so i could stay at home with our dcs as we believed it was the best thing for our children, you can always downsize" (subtext, you selfish bitches for working, you should be living in a wheelie bin then you can stay at home as otherwise your children will turn them into degenerate weirdos as you are being selfish by daring to earn some cash and provide a decent living for your family).

piss off with your sacrificing sanctimonious nonsense.

humph some people should be thankful they have a wheelie bin to stay home in..... We only have a dustpan and have to work a 29 hour day in the pit.

the martyr mums competitively giving stuff up knit their pubes into jumpers,strain yoghurt through tights,no consumer durables ever.cmon girls buckle up.if they can eke out existence they so can those heartless nursery bitches

Honeydragon, how very dare you.

I have to work 32 hours. In a cesspit. I won't even tell you where I live..

((sniffs in righteous indignation))

yes - arses but I bet you have a wide screen tv, we are of the more poor than you as we don't have one poor people.

And scottish Mummy you don't make yoghurt from donkey milk you got from exchanging you pube sweaters?

Actually, Honeydragon, I think you will find that it is the very poorest people who own the biggest TVs, at least that is the impression I get from benefit threads on MN.

as an avaricious slammer i buy ocado donkey milk.i dont strain. the lumps stick in my wolford tights.not to mention throat

So, where have I put my keys?

1. Can I just say at this point that I have not had a single message to my inbox.

2. I obviously haven't read the thread.

3. Also, on another subject, what the HELL is SM on about? "as an avaricious slammer i buy ocado donkey milk.i dont strain. the lumps stick in my wolford tights.not to mention throat". That's got to be some high quality Buckfast out there.

The baby name threads piss me off when people ask for opinions on a name and then take offence when you say it's horrendous.

Why ask if you're going to take offence. It isn't personal and they did ask for an opinion.

I think it's a haiku to the highland life Catinthehat2.

Either that of SM's been on the shrooms again!

When someone starts a thread asking for advice and receives lots of well thought out answers. But the OP never to returns to the thread to acknowledge any of the responses. What is that about?

Do you mean like this??? perchance Gibberish?

I can remember names of people who do this for years.

I might just start a 62 paragraph thread about the conversation I had with my MIL yesterday about a satsuma.

Are you saying that you would not find this interesting?

That depends. Does your MIL have NPD? That always spices it up a bit.

Just like that catinthehat. Is very odd. And rather rude.

Pfft, I think we have done all the citrus fruit/satsuma/mandarin derivative talk it is possible to do. But if you have a new MIL twist and can stretch it to 62 pars I guess I have to take my hat off to you.

I reeeaaallly don't get the baby name threads at all - either you are attention seeking or horribly insecure if you have to endlessly ask strangers for their opinions on this. Then get upset. And angry. Then admit you already named your child this months ago. What's the fecking point of all that?

BOF that depends - are you asking if she is narcissistic, or if she is a member of the National Democratic Party of Germany?

Because she is probably one of those things.

Just remembered another one - why, if someone references a conversation being held elsewhere on Mumsnet, does everyone pounce on her and say "ooh, a thread about a thread, bad form"

So fucking WHAT!!!! Why, for the love of god, does it matter? In real life, you are allowed to reference things outside of your immediate conversation but in Mumsnetland apparently not....

Ooops. Clearly I have rage today.