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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to go and stick up for my little sister?

154 replies

thebrightside · 25/09/2010 20:45

My younger sister, (just turned 18) babysits for a family with 3 kids aged 3, 6 and 9. She's been doing this for 2 years. Middle boy has epilepsy, can have fits during the night, but it is rare.

AShe charges £5 an hour, pretty reasonable! It's all unofficial, no contract/agencies involved.

They're a bit tight about money,although being pretty well off, but are generally quite a nice family who relied on and trusted my sister a lot.

Anyway, she sat for them last night. Expected them to be back at about midnight but was left till 4.30am. Rung them 3 times, each time they said they were on their way.

She fell asleep on the sofa at about 3.30 she reckons. She's never done this before and was cross at herself for it, but bloody hell anyone would struggle to stay awake at that time. They arrived home and found her asleep.

The Dad had had a few and shouted at her calling her 'negligent, useless etc,' and refused to pay her for the whole night, (nearly 10 hours - so should have been £50)

She's mortified, it's completely knocked her confidence. I'm furious at them.

I understand, especially with having an epileptic child, you want the sitter to be alert and responsible. BUT parents were 4 and a 1/2 hours late. They know she wasn't asleep for long as she had rung them at 1.30, 2.30 and 3 am. They sleep through the night when they're at home.

So are there any reasons that I shouldn't go round and demand her money back? £50 is a lot for an 18 year old.

OP posts:
HecateQueenOfWitches · 25/09/2010 20:46

it is. I think you should speak to her and she what she wants. She really should try to handle it herself, perhaps with you going along for moral support.

I hope she will not be sitting for them again.

gingerkirsty · 25/09/2010 20:46

I would. They were bang out of order both for being so so late, and for shouting at her. FGS do they not sleep at night when looking after their DC's then??? Ridiculous.

justwhen · 25/09/2010 20:47

Bloody hell she's more than entitled to her money. Totally agree with all you've said

Serendippy · 25/09/2010 20:48

Totally unacceptable. How dare they treat her like that! Don't know what to do about it but hope someone comes up with a good suggestion. I would also make this known around the area to anyone else they might be likely to ask to babysit so it doesn't happen to anyone else.

atswimtwolengths · 25/09/2010 20:49

You are definitely being reasonable. And FWIW the going rate is usually time and a half after midnight.

Hedgeblunder · 25/09/2010 20:49

Idiots- I think you need to send her round with some information relating to small claims court! If I were you I would go with her for moral support, and only stick my oar in if the didn't pay up

IMoveTheStars · 25/09/2010 20:49

As long as your sister is happy with you doing so, then go ahead! My sister would never let me 'stand up for her' unless she'd had a good go yourself.

I don't understand what the problem was though. presumably if they hadn't been out they would have been asleep at that time in the morning too! When I was that age and babysitting until 4am or later I could sleep in the spare room if I wanted to (with baby monitor)! I stayed over a few times looking after two young children. The parents made sure I knew how to get out them out quickly in the event of a fire/knew how to secure the house etc.

A1980 · 25/09/2010 20:50

YANBU to want to defend your sister but TBH I would just leave it.

Put it down to experience, she wont babysit for them again and lets see how easily they get another sister to put up with that shit. Your sister can hopefully babysit for other nicer people.

How the hell is it negligent for the babysitter to sleep? presumably if the parents hadn't been out that night, they would have been in bed asleep and not watching their children sleep at 4am?!

I thought parents generally slept at night when their kids are in bed. I know of know parent who sits up all night or who is called negligent for sleeping at night!

Unbelieveable.

bigchris · 25/09/2010 20:51

Did she ring this morning and ask for her money?
Maybe they're embarassed at their drunken overeactikn
the mum might be cringing

pinkbasket · 25/09/2010 20:53

YANBU but she should go with you and ask for her money and never sit for them again.

thebrightside · 25/09/2010 20:58

She wouldn't go herself is mortified at the whole situation, she's a very shy girl.

I just don't want them to get away with treating her (or anyone else) like that.

OP posts:
activate · 25/09/2010 21:00

How dare they?

I would be spitting blood

Tell her she has a right to the money and to an apology and she should demand it pleasantly. How dare they?

Tell her you will go with her if she wants

But she needs to do it herself, she's an adult

She should charge double for every hour after the time agreed too

pozzled · 25/09/2010 21:01

They were completely out of order. But I would see what your sister wants- she may be able to sort things out herself.

I expect the bloke had a go at her as he knew that they were wrong to be out so late in the first place without agreeing it in advance.

shimmerysilverglitter · 25/09/2010 21:03

Personally I would leave it. Never sit for them again and she should put her rates up by a couple of quid!

They sound horrible, really horrible and I bet they are kicking themselves this morning because it seems very unlikely they will find anyone else to take on all that responsibility for that kind of price.

If you live near me, I need a babysitter and she sounds fab Grin.

rantyknickers · 25/09/2010 21:10

I reckon they are mortified this morning! Or at least I hope they are. Outrageous behaviour.

Did they honestly expect her to stay awake until 4:30am and then get herself home? Why couldn't she just stay the night?

Would certainly never babysit for them again and I think you would be better served teaching your sister some assertiveness and how not to let herself be taken advantage.

herbietea · 25/09/2010 21:17

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Message withdrawn

PaulineCampbellJones · 25/09/2010 21:19

What horrible, irresponsible people. YANBU.

ArghMyEyesMyEyes · 25/09/2010 21:22

I wouldn't get going round sticking up for her, but do they never sleep when their kids are in the house? LOL!

prozacfairy · 25/09/2010 21:26

YANBU. Your sis needs to have another bash at getting her full pay off them. And never babysit for them again. My little sister (16) would add them to the local blacklist her and her mates have. Grin

Rockbird · 25/09/2010 21:30

I wouldn't leave it, that's for sure. They got a good deal there otherwise, an all night babysitter for a couple of quid. I used to babysit loads and I know how tiring it is to be sitting in the small hours, not knowing when they were returning and being desperately tired. They took liberties and as it's knocked her confidence I wouldn't be able to leave it.

Do it in accordance with her wishes but definitely do something.

thebrightside · 25/09/2010 21:32

She's adamant she won't go round but has agreed to write them a letter simply detailing what happened from her point of view, so hopefully they'll see what complete idiots they were. And then lay this matter to rest.
Agree that I would probably just make it worse.

OP posts:
Tortington · 25/09/2010 21:33

yes yes, if you have the confidence pleae go round and stick up for her,

if she doesn't get her money back then i would scratch their car the fucking cocks.

feralgirl · 25/09/2010 21:38

What a complete pair of bastards; if he's that aggressive then you def shouldn't go alone and neither should she but I would certainly not be able to let that go!

Where are they? Let's issue an MN fatwah on the wankers.

katieandisabelle · 25/09/2010 21:39

What idiots!

They were lucky your sister stayed till that time and didn't charge extra.

Tight Wads...

StewieGriffinsMom · 25/09/2010 21:39

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.